Two of the Same Kind
by LeoOsaka Bakura's stalker
Summary: Everyone just can't get enough of the two thieves...unfortunately, they're not interested in 'other' things...They seem to be looking more towards each other... Geminishipping Yami BakuraxTomb Thief Bakura
1. Prologue

Leo: I do not own YuGiOh! One of the rarest fics styles out there! This is a Geminishipping! Yami BakuraXTomb thief Bakura. This is perfect for those Bakura fans out there! So Enjoy and please Review!

Summary: Is it wrong to love yourself? Especially when he's your past self from an ancient time? Bakura doesn't think so. Geminishipping (Yami BakuraxTomb Thief Bakura)

(Prologue)

It happened in a flash. Through the power of the items the past was colided with the future. Well, in a sense it was. They were not sure of what actually happened. The millenium items had begun to glow brightly and the next minute standing in front of them were two people they were not expecting to see, and actually frightened to actually see.

The two past swellers looked in shock. To be pulled out of their world of the past and brought into the future, would have been frightening to anyone, including a pharaoh and a tomb thief.

Yami and Bakura gaped at what had happened. Before them, were standing their own past selves. Atemu, Yami's former self, staring in shock with a lost look on his face and Akefia, Bakura's previous form, who had his arms crossed indignantly.

The others couldn't even put words to the confusion and shock of what was happening. They were just stunned.

Atemu was taller, taller than his current modern day form. He also had dark skin and was adorned in rich, royal classed clothing. He was a sight to see.

But Atemu was not nearly as eye catching as Akefia. For a thief Akefia was remarkable well dressed, with his hair short cut and his dark skin contrasting his white hair. Deep red pools consumed his eyed, and a scar, doubled sideways with one long one crossing the two down his face, laid on the right side of his face.

Most found themselves staring at him. And actually it might have also been that he was the first one to move. He moved toward Bakura, glancing down. He was tall! Almost the same height as Seto! Bakura looked up at him, completely unintimidated.

Bakura was afraid of nothing and certainly not his past self.

"Why am I here? Where is here?" The thief spoke, in ancient Egyptian. Yami, Bakura, Marik and Seto understood, and Malik could understand a few of the words, but to everyone else he was speaking proverbial greek.

"I can't say why you're here, but this is the modern world." Bakura answered in flaw less, egyptian.

"What do you mean modern?" Akefia asked eyes narrowing.

"Try three thousand years in the future." Bakura replied.

Atemu and Akefia both took a step back, eyes wide. Both let out a breath at the shocking news. And no one had any clue on how to fix the issue.

Leo: Okay, If anyone actually likes this tell me! Review! If I don't know you're reading it then I'll most likely not update as often! 


	2. Bakura And Akefia

Leo: Yay! I'm glad someone read it! I'm so happy! Cheysuli, why Akefia seemed to know who Bakura was will be revealed in this chapter! I've got this one all figured out! And I think you'll like it! Meowzy-chan, Akefia is pretty much a translation of Bakura to egyptian. So really, Akefia means Bakura. They're the same name just different languages (At least that's what I've learned) It's used so people don't get confused which Bakura is being talked about. MoonlitDarkness and YamiMisao, I'm glad you liked it. I wish there were more fics with this pairing out there...It has the potential to produce great stories! And so I will contribute to the small collection of geminishipping fics! Thank yous!  
Bakura: Don't you ever get sick of writing about me?  
Leo: No! This will be fun!There are some subpairings in this, but you'll see them as you go! So enjoys! Chapter 1!

Two of the Same Kind Chapter One - Bakura and Akefia

(Bakura)

Shit always seems to happen to me. Always...It never fails and as normal, I will blame the pharaoh, even if he is not actually at fault. I can not simply take the blame for this one. Although now I understand why the pharaoh hated me so many years ago...I was a complete ass...How do I know this? Well because I was sitting across the room from my ancient self...

Put it this way, he was not appriciating me very much at that moment. Not that I cared. I knew he'd get over it, because I would, and in a sense he would because he's me, so he and I would have the same attitude and what not. You didn't understand that did you? Me neither.

After leaving the 'Yugi group', and taking our respective past selves with us, we, Ryou, myself and well...myself, went back to Ryou's apartment. This is where we were planning to figure out what the hell happened. Well, You'd think that a guy would be able to peacefully coexhist with..himself...But no!

That stupid bastard, me, bit me! Okay...that's going to get confusing...There fore when I speak of past me, I will call him/me Akefia...Okay? Okay! Well either way, he bit me! And I don't mean like little nibble, I mean like draw blood, remove skin bite. And the worst of it...Ryou put him in my room...

Of course, sure I should be able to control him. I'm supposed to be more wise than he, and granted I am, but I'm not where near as strong as I used to be. I used to have a nice built body! Then I got stuck with Ryou's...And now my physical body looks like his! Anyway, it was almost ten, the time when most people are sleeping...Well there was no way in hell I would sleep with a lunatic in my room.

Yes, I'm admitting I used to be a lunatic, hell I still am now. But I'm not the kind of lunatic who would slit your throat just because! I usually have a reason! My past self wasn't so rational.

After a while of nervous glancing he actually decided to say something. The great thing about it was that it was in Egyptian, so I wouldn't have to worry about eavesdroppers, cough Ryou cough.

"Why do you keep glancing over at me?" He spoke.

"Because I'm not really at the point in my life where I particularly want my throat slit." I said casually, like there was nothing wrong with the contents of the sentence.

"What makes you think I'm going to kill you?"

"Because I know how you are."

"Oh really?" He looked at me. I'd already told him that I was his future self, why bother hiding the obvious? Not like he didn't know, we're technically connected, so we knew right away when he was cast into our time.

"Yes, really. I have a surprisingly clear memory so I know the kind of things you do to people."

"Do you really think I'd kill myself?"

"Yes, quite frankly, especially if you didn't like what you saw." I said peeling an apple and mindlessly tossing him one, which he took and also started peeling. All of which were actions done on auto pilot, proving we were, indeed, in sync with one another.

"What's to say I don't?" He asked looking up at me. I was standing by the window while he sat on the end of my bed.

"The low growling, to start. Second you've been giving me wierd looks."

"That hardly means that I'm going to kill you."

"Why take chances?"

"Nice to know how paranoid I become," He mumbled.

"I'm not paranoid!"

"You're not proving it."

It was at that moment that I remembered just how much I used to take joy in pressing people's buttons...And how much it annoyed people. I never thought I'd be attacked by my same tactic...By me no less...

"You're not proving that you're not going to kill me."

"Tell me why I would do that? I'd understand if you were worried about me killing the pharaoh...You're not friends with him are you?" He gave me this 'please don't say yes' looks. I snorted.

"Of course not. I havn't completely lost my mind."

"Well that's at least one good thing..."

"Oh please! I have more of my sanity now than you do! Or I did then or...Damn it!" I growled as a dropped the apple. He leaned over to pick it up.

"Just to ease your paranoid mind, I have no intention of harming you, after all I need you to get me back where I belong." He did have a point... He handed me the apple.

"I'm not paranoid, and thanks for the comforting words..." I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously," He bit into the apple. "I have a question though..."

"And what would that be?" I sighed.

"How is it light in here, when Ra has left the sky and there is no fire?"

"We, in the modern world call it electricity. It makes fake light." I walked over to my lamp to demonstrate. "This is what happens when the 'elcetricity is cut off." I clicked the lamp off.

"What in the name of Osiris!" I clicked the lamp back on.

"It's much more convenient than fire is...Oh shit...Is telling you this going to change the future?" I looked at him and he shook his head in an 'unknowing' fashion.

"Last I remember, the Pharaoh was casting some spell, something about the Sennen Items or something...That ring, the one the other white haired one was wearing..."

"Ryou."

"Yeah, him! The ring he was wearing was the one I had. There was this bright light and I was in a dark place, very dark. I was there for quite a while, then in a flash I ened up here..."

"That was during the time I was trapped in the item...But would that effect the future? Damn I wish I knew what was going on!"

"Yami? Why are you still up?" I spun around to see Ryou peeking in my room.

"I can't sleep! Between my distrust of myself and the pounding headache I'm giving myself, there's no way!" Ryou looked at me, thoroughly confused. Welcome to the party Ryou, welcome...

"What did he say?" I looked back at Akefia. He spoke Ancient Egyptian, Ryou and almost everyone else we knew spoke Japanese...Oh this was going to be fun...Remind me to hit myself for saying that...

"He asked why I was still awake." I said, translating Japanese to Egyptian.

"What did you say?" He asked looking all confused.

"I told him that I don't trust myself, and that I have a headache." I didn't care to even hide the fact that I still don't trust him. He scowled at me.

"Don't you even start with me!" I snapped, completely forgetting the one fact that he could probably snap me in two...easily.

"What's wrong yami?" Ryou asked, looking at our exchange of expressions to one another.

"Nothing." I grumbled.

"You should get some sleep, we have to get up early to meet up with Yami, to find out what exactly is going on."

"Alright, I'll try! Go to bed hikari."

"Okay, good night Bakura," He yawned closing my door as he left. 

"I guess that means we HAVE to get SOME sleep." I turned back to face Akefia. He looked at me, obviously confused. "What?"

"I have no idea what you just said..." He stated and I realized that I had spoken to him in Japanese. When you get used to speaking one language, it gets hard to revert back you know...

"I said, We have to get some sleep now. I forgot you can't speak Japanese." I said going into my closet and pulling out some blankets. Not that I didn't already have enough...

It was snowing out side...I, being used to the desert, did not appreciate the cold, there fore I made a run down of the house and snatched every blanket I could get my hands on. It's become a 'christmas' tradition that Ryou buys me a blanket. Granted I still don't understand this 'christmas' thing, I like getting a nice new blanket! And it's usually all I ever ask for...besides Ryou's cooking...

I handed him one of my favorites. It was red with gold trim. It almost looked like the red cloak he was wearing...I smiled. I remembered how good I felt when I stole that cloak, way back when... 

"What are you smiling about?" He asked quickly catching my grin.

"Nothing, just remembering when I stole that, " I pointed to it. It took me everything not to reach out and grab that material. It brought so many memories back...

"Yeah, this was probably the best thing we stole huh?" He actually smiled back.

"I'd have to say that sounds about right." I walked back over to my bed and flopped down on it. "You are sleeping against the wall." I pointed.

"Why do I have to!"

"Because I don't sleep next to walls. Be happy I'm letting you sleep on my bed and not the floor. Trust me you'll appreciate it." 

"Fine," He grumbled. I was almost surprised he didn't fight me. I mean it's not like he COULDN'T beat me...I was skinny...And not as muscley (I don't think that's a word, but don't argue with me!).

He pulled the cloak off and hung it over my computer chair. Yes I have a computer...I'm not that technologically stupid you know...And really! Just because I don't know how to use it doesn't mean I wouldn't have one...Not that I'm saying I can't use it...I can turn it on! So there!

He crawled up next to me from the end of the bed. Like me, he was wrapped up, in several blankets. When he stopped figiting I reached over and turned my lamp off.

After several minutes of silence. I shifted to face him. It wasn't so dark that he couldn't see me.

"What?" He asked in a quiet growl.

"Give me the knife." I said holding my hand out. 

"Damn it, why!" He asked angry that I instincively knew he had it.

"Because you don't need it."

"I'm protecting myself!"

"You don't need to, nobody's going to come in here. Remember, I live in this time, I know what it's like!"

"Fine! Gods, he's so damn paranoid..." The last part was obviously a whisper to himself.

"Look you! If I'm not mistaken, you gave me a reason to be paranoid! Or did you forget the nice chunk of flesh you took out of my neck!"

"Well if you hadn't jumped in between me and the pharaoh! I mean, I figured you still hated the bastard!"

"Don't yell at me! I don't like the pharaoh! I hate him! But that's not the point! You knew I was you! Isn't that why you spoke to ME? If so then why would you attack yourself!"

"Shut up! You're confusing me!"

"Well I'm confusing me too! Gah!" I rolled over, growing furious. I kicked the blanket off, all the blood rushing, made me hot.

There was an awkward silence. Niether of us could sleep, nor could we find anything to say with out envoking a fight. Eventually I did fall asleep. Why, or how (with him around) I don't know.

It must have been a few hours later, that I woke up, shivering. I'd kicked my blankets off in a furious manner, with out even thinking about the fact that I would end up freezing later.

I reached out for the blankets, I so foolishy tossed aside. I growled in frusteration when I couldn't find them. I was freezing and did not look forward to getting up. I leaned forward propping myself on an elbow.

A loud sneeze racked my body. While recovering from it, I felt warm fabric being thrown over me. I looked over to see, though barley in the dark, my past self throwing another blanket over me.

"Don't be an idiot and die from something so stupid. Think next time." He snorted. I could tell there was SOME sentiment there...somewhere...maybe...Or perhaps he was just being an ass hole...Which, knowing myself, was always a possibility...

I buried myself inder the heap and groaned at the prospect of having to converse the situation with the pharaoh...'I wonder what the pharaoh of the past thinks about what he will be...I wonder what my past self thinks of me...I really doesn't matter...Hopefully this will all be resolved in the morning...'

I fell asleep again, not wanting morning to come, should something bad happen...

Leo: Yay! Chapter one complete! I don't know how long this will be...But I'll make it as long as I have to! And for those of you how've read 'Going Under', then you probably already know this one will most likely be long! Bakura: Ok, that wasn't too bad, but I'm still a victim in some way! And attacked by myself no less! Can you not hurt me in one of your fics someday?  
Leo: I'll consider it.  
Bakura: Please do.  
Leo: Anyways...I'll update soon! Bakura: ...:Hugs the readers (who don't abuse him):... 


	3. Alarm Clocks, Buttons, and Modern Day Ho...

Leo: Yay! Wow, this story hit off pretty well. I guess Geminishipping is in demand. Thank you all! Rocker-Baby-176: I'm flattered that you think I did such a good job. Despite the numerous typos that I have a habit of missing. I do try to keep the characters like they were supposed to be. Cheysuli: I'm glad you found your glasses. I know what that's like. I can't see two feet in front of me, even WITH glasses, so I feel your pain. I'm glad you liked it! Kat1132: Bakura does spout a lot of random things...But wait until Yami and Atemu enter the picture! You'll enjoy that part. Rayne: I'm pleased that you liked it. I'm trying to decide on which other pairs to put. That is where the readers will help me. If you have a specific pairing request, review and tell me! It's all up to the readers! (Except the BakuraxAkefia part, that's written in stone) Meowzy-chan: There will be plenty of more parts where the the yami's try to explain things to their past selves, so your in for plenty more. Thank you T.Lei! Its good to know, I'm doing this right!  
Bakura: are you done yet?  
Leo: Yes! Okay! On to chapter 2! 

Two of the Same Kind Chapter Two - Alarm Clocks, Buttons and Modern Day Horses?

I was woken up abruptly. I didn't want to get up. I wanted to continue sleeping. I curled up and sunk down into the blankets, sheets and pillows, which I have a lot of. I felt someone shake me. I groaned.

It wasn't until the voice spoke that my eyes shot open. I threw the blankets back and looked at the owner of the voice.

"Damn it! It wasn't a dream!"

"That kid came in here earlier. I couldn't understand what he said, but it sounded something like 'wayk Ba'kua up?' or something like that..."

"He said 'wake Bakura up'. Man, we've got to do something about your lack of modern language..." I slid out of bed, making my way to my closet. I didn't want to go see the pharaoh...though of all people, he would probably know what to do...I hate replying on him...Cause he's a bastard. And no that is not a biased opinion, that is scientific fact! (I don't care what you say! Don't argue with me!)

Grabbing something out of the closet, I turned around to face Akefia. I looked at what I was holding and then him. Sure, that would look fine on him, if I wanted him to look like a goth surfer...Which was a wierd combination...I mean, he looked out of place as it was.

I braved the dangerousness of my closet again. I'm telling you, there are demons in there...I mean, I keep finding things missing...so I assume the demons got hungry. Stop laughing damn it! I'd rather make myself believe that crap, than know that Ryou is taking my clothes...And the fact that I let him live to tell about it! So shut up!

I turned around to find my counter-part giving me this 'look'. That look that makes you say,"what the hell's your problem?'. Of course I wasn't going to say that, a.) I hadn't completely woken up yet and B.) I didn't want to test the theory of him being stronger than me...

"What? Is there something you want to ask?" I said sighing as I continued rummaging through the mass of clothes.

"Yes actually...first is that thing that started screaming. I didn't know how to make it stop, so I threw it...What was that? I've never seen an animal like that..."

"Oh Ra...I really was an idiot back then...And here the thought the pharaoh just said that to insult..." I said to myself, in Japanese, while rolling my eyes.

"What?" He asked clearly not understanding me...Good.

"Nothing, that wasn't an animal. It was an alarm clock." I said looking around and spotting the poor mangled machine.

"What's it do? Why does it screech at you?"

"It was beeping, not screeching, and it's purpose is to wake you up. In the modern world, people tend not to wake up at dawn." I picked up one of the pieces of my poor clock...I actually liked that one too...Yugi bought that for me for Christmas, so I would wake up in the morning, so he wouldn't have to hear Ryou bitch about my not waking up, which was smart of him if you ask me...Hey I never said I didn't like Yugi! I just hate his yami (with a deep fiery passion).

Yugi is was one of the few people who accepted me...That's because he's trusting with everyone...I go to him for everything, from learning modern things to complaining about why I hate my life...Why don't I go to my hikari, you ask? I don't know. Yugi's more of a psychiatrist type person than Ryou I guess...Or would that be a therapist? I don't know. Why ask me that? I know you didn't say anything! But don't argue with me! I tend to get characteristically violent...Anyways, what was I saying?

Oh right, Akefia (former me) was looking at me like I'd lost my mind...Well, isn't that a brilliant observation. I lost it a long time ago...He, of all people, should understand that...

"Will you quit with the 'you're a lunatic' look! I get that enough from people who aren't me! Just put these on! You can't go walking in 5000 year old clothes!" I threw a simple pair of jeans and a black shirt at him.

He held them up and looked at them, clearly confused. "How do I put them on?" He finally asked.

"Oh hell no! I'm not dressing you!" I fought back the insane urge to blush as I turned away, frowning.

"Well, it's not like you haven't seen me naked before. Am I right?" He smirked. No, I didn't turn back to look at him. I just knew he smirked. I could hear it in his voice.

"Yeah, but that's completely beside the point!"

"Come on, you freak, just help me!"

"Who are you calling a freak?" I turned around to shoot a glare at him.

"Me!"

"Gah! Damn it! Stop that! You're going to confuse me again!"

"Then help me put these damn...things...on!"

"Fine! Quit bitching!"

I helped him out of his clothes and into mine. They were a little more snug on him than they were me, but then, he WAS bigger than me. I heard a soft knock on the door and Ryou peeked in as I was helping Akefia button the jeans. Of course, I didn't see Ryou until I heard him giggling at the converstion we were having...

"How do I close this?"

"What? Don't tell me you don't know how to close a button?...Wait, I don't think they had buttons yet... Damn idiots...I'm going to kill the bastard that invented the fucking button..." I mumbled, pulling him closer and fastening the button. "There, you think you can learn to do that?"

"Sure, but I don't think I'll be able to talk to myself quite like you do though...I may have to practice on that." He said, laughing at the fact that I like to mumble things to my self. And when I mean myself I mean ME! Not...me as in him me, me as in me me...GAH! Resisting urge to bang head against wall...

"Hehehe," I whipped my head around to see Ryou, chuckling, in that innocent girly way he does. It makes me wonder why he has a fanclub of school girls devoted to him...That's just scary...I can't wait for the day he just tells them all he's gay. That'll be a sight to see!

"What are you laughing at Hikari?" I asked folding my arms. He squeaked and bit his tongue.

"I wasn't laughing at you yami, I was laughing with!" He said. The oldest excuse in the proverbial 'book'.

"Yeah, you were lauging with ME alright." I shot a glare at both my Hikari and Akefia. "Are we ready to go?" I asked folding my arms.

"I am, if you are." Ryou smiled in that girly way he does it...Oh lord, I got stuck with a female hikari disguised as a boy...

"Fine let's go!" I grabbed Afkeia and proceeded to drag him down the stairs.

"Hey, damn it! I can walk by myself!"

"Well if you want to be technical...You ARE walking 'by' yourself." I glanced at him as it sunk in.

"Oh Ra! Stop that! Let's just look at it as if we're two completely different people! Otherwise we'll end up giving each other headaches!" He growled. He was being truthful though...

"Okay then! Just stop TRYING to confuse ME!"

"Fine!"

"Okay!"

We both turned our heads as we heard Ryou giggling.

"What the hell are you laughing at?" I growled.

"Just listening to you two bicker...Though I can't understand him, listening to you is just entertaining!" He continued giggling...Damn Hikari...

"Shut up. Let's just go." We left. In the direction of the Game Shop.

Everything was going fine. Nothing bad had yet happened..Until a car passed by and Akefia freaked out. In a panic he clasped on to me, hiding from the view of the said vehicle...

"What in the name of the gods was that creature?" He peeked out from behind me to take another look at the figure growing smaller and smaller as it gained distance.

"It's okay, it's a car! It transports people and things!"

"Like a horse?" He looked at me like he'd just figured it out...Poor thing couldn't have known how rediculous he sounded.

"Yes! It's a modern day horse!" I said knowing he'd have an easier time comprehending that idea, than the thought of a thousand pound or more, steel frame, with a metal shell riding down the road at sixty miles an hour...Which would you believe if YOU lived in an ancient world and was thrown 5000 years into the future?

"Okay...Such strange animals..."

"You can let go of me now..."

"Oh...right..."

Ryou looked at me, "Yami what was that about?"

"He asked what "In the name of the gods 'that' was" In reference to the car..."

"What'd you tell him?" Ryou looked at me, waiting to hear the answer. He was getting a kick out of this, I just knew it...

"I told him it was a horse..."

"Oh god!" He burst out into laughter. Actually, I myself, thought it was pretty funny too...

"Hey! Tell him to stop laughing at me!" Akefia said pointing to my hikari.

"How can you tell he's laughing at you?"

"I just can!"

"Okay fine!" I switched to Japanese again. "Ryou, shut up. He knows you're laughing at him. And if he tries to bite your head off, I won't be able to help you..."

"Okay, Okay! Sorry!" He bit back another fit of laughter. Damn Hikari...

"Hey, looks like we're here." I said realizing that while we were having our interesting conversation we'd made it all the way to the pharaoh's.

"Okay, let's go get this issue fixed!" Ryou, Akefia and I walked to the door, where I proceded to bang on it...

Leo: Well, that was a fun chapter! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did thinking it up! I've drawn some new fanarts and posted them on If you wish to see them, go to my profile, I have the link toward the end. I also have a few on my group, which is listed as my home page. Well as you know, if you've been following this, or any of my other stories, I will update soon! Until next time! Ja!  
Bakura and Akefia: hugs the readers  
Leo: By the way, what do you think about a fic with Bakura/Dartz? (You know, the Guy from Atlantis in the anime?) I've NEVER seen one, and I have a cool idea for one, I just want to know if its something I should write out.

A little note, just so you are aware that I'm not COMPLETELY lacking of a life, I do not, spend all of my waking hours typing (I do it in my sleep too...just kidding)...My secret is I type at 10 O'clock at night! I tend to write out a lot more this way! Try it, It might work for you too...If you write that is... Okay Okay! I'm done!


	4. Throw in a Pharaoh or Two

Leo: Yay! I got five review in only twelve hours after posting it! Yay me! Jazhira, it's good you find this funny, after working on 'Going Under' I find that I NEED to write up a little humor. Just relax though! I will NOT abandon this story! I like it too much...Cheysuli: I had to think up things tha I would die lauging if I saw...that is what came of it, and i've only hit the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Bakura's reasoning for going to Yugi is just simply to piss the pharaoh off, really...You'll see later on...And about the train thing..I have no clue...I pay attnetion in history and still don't remember a thing...O.o... Bakura indeed wasn't in that part of Yugioh...which sucks, but Dartz is from Atlantis...while reading through your bunnies I got a cool idea, so you wouldn't even have to know who Dartz is, to understand it...Bakura's a god in it...I'm glad you liked my art! Yay! I worked hard on that Bakura! It took me an entire afternoon to do it! Rocker-Baby-176: There will be romance in here, I'll start in this chapter, it won't be strong love though, just little hinting. Meowzy-chan: I have no idea where the horse thing came from...but it seems it went over well. Ryou is pretty girly huh? I think he's funny like that...And we all love him because of his girly Ryouness! Isn't that right? I think I'll post a link to a site with info on Dartz (You live in the Netherlands? cool!)...he's so..pretty...Hell I don't really know much about him...But I think he looks like someone Bakura would fit well with...I need to research...And don't worry Sirithiliel (how did you think up that name?) I will update regularly. Oh my Ra...Look at all that babbling...I think I should start the chapter now.  
Bakura: Good idea.  
Leo: Okay! Here we go! 

Two Of the Same Kind Chapter Three - Throw in a Pharaoh...Or Two...

Yami did not appear happy. Of course, that could also have been the fact that I failed to cease banging on the door, even after he opened it...He let me slide with it though...Yeah! I got to beat the Pharaoh up, mildly, and he didn't banish me to the shadow realm! And granted, the shadow realm HAS become almost like a second home to me (thanks to him), I much prefur the real world...

Either way, though hesistantly, he let us in. Yugi, and his past self were in the little living room, toward the back of the shop. I smiled to myself.

"Hello, Yugi." I glanced over at the pharaoh (modern one). He was giving me the 'don't talk to my hikari unless you want to visit the shadow realm' look. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. He was too uppity to ask for help on things. And he got mad when I asked HIS light to help me, thus I learned things he didn't. I would have asked Ryou about these things, but he's taking college classes...And is usually too busy...

"Hello Kura." Yugi said taking a sip of his tea or what ever it is he was drinking. I'm not a drink inspector, I don't know!

Yami noted the nickname, 'Kura' and looked like he was about to start beating the hell out of me at any moment. This only made me smirk more. He couldn't do it with Yugi around..So ha ha! Poo on you Pharaoh!

I heard a low growling that snapped me back into reality, or what little bit of it I'm still part of. I lightly, with out even turning around, elbowed Akefia. The obvious source of the growling, since I wasn't doing it.

"Damn it, why'd you do that?" He growled at me.

"Don't talk to ME like that! Just shut up and wait til we figure out how to get you home!"

"Why should I?"

"Because Yami might know something about this than I do! So I don't need you killing him yet!"

"What ever." He crossed his arms defiantly, so...like me.

I turned back to face Yami and Atemu, both of which wore the same exact look of confusion, the one eybrow arched, head sideways, thing...

"What! Haven't you ever heard a guy argue with himself before?" Both Akefia and I said in perfect sync with each other. Which was kinda creepy...

"Um, Yami, Ryou and I are going to go upstairs...And play duel monsters while you guys figure out what to do.." Yugi looked at the four of us. Considering neither Yugi nor Ryou understood a damn thing we were saying, it was probably for the best.

"Wow, I never thought your past self sounded so..." Yami started.

"So what?" Akefia asked trying not to get angry.

"Young...He sounds younger than Yugi...1" Yami said to me, trying to ignore the glare he was receiving from my past self.

"Shut up! You stupid bastard! At least least my future self got rid of that! Not like you! Who's actually shorter than you used to be!" Akefia shot a glance at Atemu then Yami.

"Okay, children! Let's quit acting like idiots and just try to figure something out." I sighed rubbing my temple as I could feel a headache coming on.

"What ever."

"Hey, I have an idea! Let's try tapping the power of the items!" Atemu said as if it was a great victory, with a big smile plastered on his face. Geeze...What a freak.

"Yeah, I guess we can try it, I mean we could only end up losing our souls forever, but what the heck! I'm not doing much with mine anymore..." I said absentmindedly, fully aware of the stares I was recieving from the two pharaohs. My other self was nodding in agreement with me. Okay...Maybe WE are the freaks...Nah!

"We I don't hear any suggestions from you thief!" Atemu barked at me. Oh. Hell. NO!

"Better watch that tongue of yours pharaoh brat! I have this little habit of cutting out people's tongues!" I returned the barking, only twice as loud.

"I urge you to believe that." Was all Yami said. He knew I would. And he couldn't do a damn thing! Because you DON'T want to get in my way when I'm mad! Ask Marik! He's the one who broke his leg after he fell (was pushed really) off the roof, of which he was up there because of me. But beside that...

"This is getting us no where!" Yami sighed in frusteration.

"Well look who's in this investigation group? Do you really think a lot is going to get done? Tch! And can we make this quick? Akefia's going to gnaw through my arm to get to Atemu if we decides he's bored and wants to sharpen his teeth on a certain, spiky haired, someone."

"You talk of me as if I'm an animal or something..." Akefia growled at me.

"I wouldn't describe you under any other category."

"Oh yeah? Fine then!" CHOMP!

"IIIIIYYYYEEEEEEEEEE!" I hissed in pain as I felt sharp teeth in the back of my shoulder. "And you try to tell me you're not an animal? YOU FREAKING LUNATIC!" I arched my back wishing the pain would numb.

"That's for being an ass!" He removed his teeth. My hand immediatly flew to my shoulder, where I could feel the warm liquid, that is blood, start to cover the back of my shirt.

"You stupid dumbass! What the hell? You can't just go sinking your teeth into people because you don't like what they say!" I screamed facing him.

"Well I have feelings! I'm not just some 'animal'! And I figured you could take it! After all you're this big bad ass, right?" He got up in my face. I supressed the urge to slam my fist into his face.

"Will you just shut up? I'm sick of hearing you squeak at me!" I turned away from him, as he did from me.

A moment of silence passed.

"Okaaay...So I'm guessing a cup of coffee is out of the question?" Yami laughed nervously.

"It depends...It isn't decaf is it?" I asked trying to ignore my other.

"Tch, of course not! What do you take me for, thief?"

"Then I'm in. You two sit put, we'll be back" I said so sternly I think even the pharaoh was listening. I grabbed Yami and pulled him with me into the kitchen, when the door was closed, I let him have it.

"I Can't take him any more!" I screamed pulling at my hair!

"He's only been with you for one evening, Bakura." I eyed Yami, I found it odd he actually called me by my name...

"Yes, and he's bitten me twice! Both involving blood and skin removal! He keeps starting stupid arguments! You, of all people in this ungodly hell hole called the modern world, should know that I have no patience! He's wearing me so thin that I might just consider wiping 'myself' out of exhistance by a well aimed blow to the head. Do you think a base ball bat would do it?" I asked. I think he thought I'd become deranged. Which probably wasn't far from the truth.

"Bakura, sit down!" He pushed me into the kitchen seat. He walked over to the counter pulling a kitchen rag from a pile and then commencing to soak it under cool water. He walked over to me. He pushed me forward, slamming me flat against the table.

"Hey! ow!"

He pulled my shirt up and placed the cloth against the bite mark.

"Oh shit! OW! Is this some kinda torture?" I figited in my seat, as he cleaned the wound. Well as best I could with my forehead stuck down on the table. It didn't help that he was holding me down.

"I'm helping you. I never said I had to be nice about it." He mumbled.

"You damn pharaoh!" I said between grit teeth.

"And you know, your past self doesn't seem so bad." He said, moving away and pulling something from under the kitchen sink.

"What? You hardly know him!" I started, but then realized what he was getting at. "Grrr...You stay away from him pharaoh! Touch Akefia and I'll filet you!"

"I don't see why, you just said you can't stand him. He seems to be more in tune with his emotions than you are." Yami gave me that look that said,'what do you have to say to that?'.

"So! That doesn't mean you can pounce on him!" I followed him with my eyes as he walked back around me.

"And why doesn't it? He's cute...He's sounds adorable. And he's not wanted by the only other person who might understand him." Yami spit off smoothly.

"I don't care! Leave him alone! He's not your prey!" BAM! I was back on the table. "OW! Damn it!"

"That's not your decision to make thief." He began the strenous activity of applying bandages and what not to my 'wound'.

I jumped back grabbing Yami by the collar. In a flash the hard metal of my nice shiny dagger was against his throat (old habits die hard, ne?).

"Listen to what I say, pharaoh! Akefia is mine! You touch what is mine and, I. Will. Kill. You. Are you hearing this, or should I repeat myself?" He seemed to get the clue, for he said nothing.

"Bakura?" I hear that all too familiar high pitched voice of my other. I whipped around to see him standing in the door way. Looking from me to the pharaoh.

"Akefia!"

He said nothing. It was apparent he'd heard what I said. Damn. How could I tell? His face was turning a cute shade of red, which almost matched his eyes. Oh man...He'd heard EVERYTHING too, including the 'mine' bit...Which I really hadn't intended to say...It just came out...

I stood up. And walked toward the doorway where he was standing. Grabbing him as I walked out.

'Ryou, I'm going for a walk with Akefia.' I said to him through the mindlink. 'I'll be back in a bit.'

'Okay yami,' was the reply I got.

"We'll be back pharaoh...s."

We walked out the door and he pulled away from me, walking in awkard silence as we made our way down the street.

"What di-"

"What yo-"

We both paused again.

"You go first," He said.

"No, you. You spoke first."

"Okay..."

1 This is a reference to the Japanese version of 'Pharaoh's Memory' where Akefia fights Atemu. Akefia sounds VERY young, younger than Yugi does! (like 13 or 14), even if he looks twenty, so it's understandable why people might think he should be younger.

Leo: I certainly had not expected it would take this turn! And I'm writing it! Well It should get interesting! It'll be a fight between Yami and Bakura! Of course considering the pairing we know who wins, but It'll be fun to see Yami try! Anyways.  
Bakura: Say good bye Leo.  
Leo: Good Bye.  
Bakura and Akefia: Hugs readers


	5. Marik wants Bakura?

Leo: Ah another chapter! On a story I did not think would be read by anyone...I'm happy now...Jazhira: They're mine(or at least I wish)! ...:Tugs of war with Jazhira:... But you can borrow them! Hehe, anyways I'm glad you like this fic, you can expect it to last quite a while, like Going Under, both will be long. Plus the new one I'm doing...And my many one shots I'm working on...Oh boy...What have I gotten myself into? YamiMisao: It would be too much to make Atemu go after Bakura, so instead he'll just go after Akefia too! Oops, little spoiler there...Oh well, only those who actually read this will know. Hehe. Meowzy-chan: I've always wanted to use the line 'Poo on you Pharaoh', ever since I began watching YuGiOh! So I'm happy now! And I know, Akefia's maniacal little 12 year old sounding cackle is so cute, I actually downloaded a clip off the internet, tweaked it and set it so every time I turn on my computer his little cackle indicates that it's being turned on! I'm such a loser! But hey! It's all good!

Two of the Same Kind Chapter 4

"Um...You said I was 'yours'. What did you mean by that? Like, I don't mean to make it sound like that...But I..mean. Damn it! This is not coming out right!"

"Will I protect you while your here? And kill the pharaoh, either one, in a very sick, disturbing and freakishly pleasing way if they touch you? Then yes." I fought the urge to blush. I hadn't known he was standing in the door way! If I had I might have shut my mouth before spouting out crap.

"Y-yeah." He looked down at the floor. He was as embarrassed as I was. "So..you don't..hate me?" He asked looking up.

"No, you just frusterate me. But then again you don't live in this time. So I'm being a little unreasonable."

"Since when did we get reasonable?" Akefia blinked and looked up at me, dead serious.

I laughed. Okay, so maybe he wasn't reasonable, and I wasn't reasonable, so I haven't changed very much and he won't change very much and I don't remember where that sentence was going...Damn. I was too busy CONFUSING MYSELF AGAIN! I need to stop that. I'm going to give myself a brain aneurism if I keep this up.

"Okay, we never get reasonable, as you can tell." I half smiled.

"So what now?" He stretched his arms back behind his head.

"I guess we should go back..." I didn't really like that idea. After all Yami was there. But why on earth was he after my past self? He's a freak. I always knew the pharaoh was a few fries short of a happy meal... "Never mind! To hell with that idea! I guess I'm going to show you a little bit of the modern world, we can stop by the museum too, maybe that will help our situation."

"Okay...Hey! There goes another one of those horses!...They're commom here aren't they?"

I tried really hard not to just keel over with laughter. I really did.

"Ah...okay..Let's..." I tried to say with a semi-straight face...Which was very hard to do..I didn't REALLY think he bought the 'modern day horse' crap...

"What's wrong?" He asked with an annoyed looked. Apparently he realized I was laughing at him.

"It's nothing...Really it's-"

"Bakura?" I heard the ever so familiar voice of Marik, who was probably my closest friend.

"Yeah. How many people to you see with white hair walking down the street?" I asked rolling my eyes sarcastically.

"I don't know, you could have been Ryou!" He tried to pull that excuse on me...Tch, I hope he doesn't think I'm THAT stupid.

"With a knife attached to the back of my belt"  
"Okay! Chill out! And actually I see two people with white hair...who look very similiar...and..what THE HELL. he's still here?" Marik catches on quick.

"Marik meet me, me meet Marik." I said holding my hands out to gesture to the person I was introducing.

"Say what?" Marik asked, tilting his. "You haven't sent him back..?"

"What, you expect ME to do it?"

"Well, it is your problem."

"Oh...right. But still, I don't even have a clue as to how I would go about sending him back."

"Bakura, who's this?" Akefia asked in Egyptian. I found it almost odd that he called me by my better known name.

"He was there when you first arrived, but you may not remember it. We did leave kinda quickly."

"Hello, um...past Bakura." Marik spoke in fluent Ancient Egyptian.

"You speak the language of the desert!" Akefia said, sounding quite surprised. Even though It's not like you couldn't tell Marik was from some country with a desert. I mean his dark skin and sun bleached blonde hair would have been enough for me.

"Yep. I'm egyptian too." Marik pointed to himself.

"That's good...At least someone other than the obnoxious pharaoh can talk to me and understand what I say." He seemed a little relieved.

Marik looked at me and switched back to Japanese. "Oh Damn Bakura, he's cute! What happened?" He smirked.

"Oh to hell with you!" I huffed, crossing my arms. "And don't you even think about it! Yami's already got his eye on him! That's bad enough! You WILL NOT even consider it!"

"Oh! You ruin my fun." Marik pouted.

"Hey! That's not fair! I can't understand you!" Akefia huffed...Yep...Definately my past self.

"Trust me, you're better off not knowing." I shook my head and he just crossed his arms.

"It's all good Bakura," Marik flashed a grin, "You know I'm after you anyways." He whispered to me almost seductively.

I saw Akefia tense up next to me. He could, apparently, tell Marik was making passes at me, even as Marik spoke to me in Japanese. He was disturbed by it. I, however, was not. I was used to the attention Marik poured on me. He's had the hots for me ever since I'd stood up to him during Battle City.

Of course I had absolutely no interest in him like that. I mean he's nice to look at, don't get me wrong, but we're entirely TOO much alike for that to work. I'd much rather have his hikari, if we're being truthful.

"You know you'll never have me, Marik, you why bother?"

"I like the challenge."

"You're fighting a losing battle though."

"That's what you think."

"HEY!" We both turned to look at Akefia who was beginning to get aggrivated, as we could both clearly tell. "I'm not liking the fact that I'm being IGNORED!"

"Damn, Kura, you were an attention getter, even back then."

"EGYPTIAN please!" My former self stomped his foot...how, like me...

"Okay! We're talking to you! ARE YOU HAPPY?" I snapped at him, my voice raised.

"YEAH! I'M BETTER THANK YOU!" He yelled back at me.

"GOOD!"

"uh..." We both looked at Marik. He blinked twice. I think we scared him, as well as everyone else in the area...Which was pretty amazing, considering Marik's a freak himself. But then wouldn't you be slightly disturbed if you heard two people, who looked quite alike, screaming at the top of their lungs (for no real reason), in a foreign language that no one could possibly understand? I would...If I wasn't used to it.

"WHAT!" Akefia and I asked in perfect sync. We both looked at each other and turned away quickly, folding our arms.

"My ra...You're like mirror images of each other's personality..." Marik commented.

"WE ARE NOT!" We both said in unison.

"Stop saying what I'm saying!" Akefia squeaked.

"No! You're stealing MY words! So quit it!" I barked.

"I'm a thief! Stealing's what I do! So don't tell me what to do!"

"A thief can't steal from a thief! Because then I'd steal them back! So they'd never be yours!"

"How do you figure that works?"

"It just does!"

"I think you forget I'm stronger than you!" Akefia narrowed his eyes.

"You forget I'm smarter than you!"

"Oh yeah!"

"YEAH!"

With out warning Akefia moved forward. He wrapped a strong arm around my waist and porceeded to fling me up over his shoulder. I couldn't fight back, since he was, indeed, stronger than me.

"Gah! Damn you Akefia!" I screamed, still partially in shock. "Put me down, you damn psycho! Marik! Help me!" I called and he snapped to attention and followed after us as Akefia carried me, slung over his back, down the street.

"What do you want me to do!" Marik looked up, quickening his pace, to keep up.

"Get me down and I'll go on a date with you!" I bargained, switching to Japanese so Akefia wouldn't hear, while feeling the blood begin to rush to my head. Not a pleasant feeling. I knew Marik wouldn't be able to resist that tempting offer, either.

"You got a deal. Grab my arms!" He held his arms out and I grasped them as firmly as I could. He yanked me toward him, the sudden pulled thowing Akefia off. He had to release me or he's have fallen over. I fell into Marik as a was thrown off Akefia's shoulder. Akefia spu around with a surprised snort.

"So ha!" I boasted rubbing my head. Technically I did win. I was smart enough to convice Marik to save me, that counts for something...Right?... Oh shut up, I never asked you.

"Not impressive, when you need help to do it." He crossed his arms indignantly.

"Get over it will you?" Marik intervened.

"YOU stay out! Why don't YOU leave HIM alone!" Akefia barked at the blonde.

"What are you gonna do about it?" Marik replied stepping closer to Akefia putting him right in his face. Uh-oh...It was time to stop that...

"Come on Akefia!" I stood up quickly and grabbed my counterpart by the arm and hauled him in the direction opposite of Marik. "I'll call you later Marik!" I said to the blonde in Japanese.

"You like him don't you?" Akefia questioned in an irritated fasion, once he'd gotten out of Marik's hearing range.

"No, I have no interest in him, if that's what you're getting at!" I snapped at him. I let go of his arm and walked beside him, with my arms folded and gaze fixed intently on anything but him.

"If sure didn't seem like it." He mumbled.

"What do you mean!"

"I saw the way you were acting around him."

"Listen you dumbass! He's interested in ME! It's a one way thing on Marik's behalf! There's nothing more to it! And why do I have to explain myself to you?"

Neither us of said anything after that. We couldn't find anything to say. Sometimes it was hard communicating with him like I did to Marik or even Ryou. Because neither Ryou nor Marik had a personality to match mine. But Akefia, he did...He was harder to commune with because he was equally as stubborn as I.

We walked in silence until I spotted figures up ahead. I groaned as I recognized the two identical people, with that characteristic spiky tri-colored hair.

The pharaoh. Or Pharaoh(s). Oh happy day.

...Could this day get any better?

Leo: Finally! Whoo hoo! I managed to get this chapter completed! Yay! Go me! And sorry about all the errors...I'm working with notepad here...Cause something's wrong with my Microsoft Word...I'll eventually go through and error proof all the chapters. One day...maybe... Thanks for reading! With summer break starting, I should have more chapters up more often, with any luck! Well, until next chapter! Bakura and Akefia: ...:Hugs readers:... 


	6. Oh Hell No!

Leo: Yay! I got this one done, fairly quickly! Man, I had fun with this chapter! But went haywire! Grrr! Jazhira: Oh yes, you love this chapter...Of course, you'll probably murder me for the cliff hanger I leave. Yes, they are stubborn. ...:pets Bakura and Akefia:.. But don't worry the beginning of the heartfelt romancy part is coming up! YOu can borrow them any time! Ryou: Thank you for my review! My oh so lovable hikari! I love you!...:blows kiss:.. T.Lei: I'm glad you liked, I try to make this one humorous to counter act all the serious stories I do! I have the most fun writing this one! Meowzy-chan: I love using cheesy lines for when Bakura is thinking or talking to the pharaoh. Cause it almost seems like this would be something he would say. Yep, Marik's got the hots for him, but so does someone else! YamiMisao: Yep, I thought it would be more likely for Marik to go after him, considering how Bakura's thoughts against both pharaohs are in this. But yeah, I have a plan for Atemu, you just read the end of this chapter. I think you'll be a little surprised. Sirithiliel: Glad you like! My job is to entertain! And I do that same thing with my friend...where we talk at the same time...We get into fights all the time...:Sighs:...The immaturity of males...namely me. Happiness's Deceit: I have this thing I do, where when something bad happens I say "Oh happy day" And I see just how many people will sing that song. Try it, you'd be shocked how many people do it. With Akefia's fangs (which he does have them), I just couldn't resist making him a biter! Hehe, Kya! (Though I use Nya more). Dojomistressambychan: I'm glad you like! Yay! I just couldn't resist tangling them all up in unwanted attention! And I was planning for this to be completely in Bakura's POV, but I don't know, maybe, just maybe, I'll do a chapter in Akefia's. gasps for air Now! To the actual chapter! Nya!

Two of The Same Kind Chapter Five

Oh boy...The Pharaohs...Just freaking peachy. I wished I'd never woken up. Now, after such a lovely encounter with Marik...I had to keep stupid pharaohs away from my past self. Just great. My life sucks. Yes, I'm done ranting. Yes, you will hear me ranting later, with out a doubt.

"So, looks like you decided to come back." Yami smirked at me. I knew what he was thinking, and under no circumstance would he EVER have Akefia! Or I'm not one hot sexy thief! And don't argue, you know I'm right.

"Unfortunately, yes, we appear to be heading in your direction." I said adding as much sarcasm as possible.

"Don't sound so depressed thief," He switched to Japanese, "You can leave Akefia here and go if you want."

I was about to say give him some snide comment, but the roar of a motorcycle threw me off. The motorcycle pulled up on the side of the street right next to us, and cut it's engine off, saving my ears from impending deafness. The driver pulled his helmet off. Of course I already knew who it was...No one else I know wears a violet belly shirt...

"Hello, Malik, what brings you here?" I said like it was no big thing. It was about that time that I noticed Akefia, 'stalking' up to the machine. Oh boy...

"Have you seen Marik?" Malik said simply watching Akefia get closer to his beloved bike. It was even more entertaining, when the Pharaoh's past self did it too...

"Yeah we ran into him back that way, I pointed in the direction and malik looked just long ewnough to know which way I was pointing, before his attention was back on the two confused Egyptians.

"Bakura, what is this thing? Is it another horse? It doesn't look like the other ones."

"Those were horses?" Atemu asked looking at him with sincere bewilderment...Wow, I know long words...

"That's what Bakura told me..."

Yami, the bastard that he is, burst out into a violent fit of laughter. Of course he should have thought that as he did that, he was laughing at his past self for being so stupid as to believe what mine was saying.

"Akefia, get back here. That's a motorcycle. It's Malik's pet." I half scolded, as a smile of amusement spread on Malik's face.

"So, I see that you haven't sent them back..." Malik smirked.

"We'd have to know how first...Speaking of which maybe we could talk to your sister." I spoke as the idea came to me.

"She's at home, if you really want to. She's off this weekend, since nothing big is happening at the museum."

"You can go without us thief." Yami spoke up, finally over his laughing fit.

"Why? You're in this mess too!"

"Hell no! I don't want to be around Isis! She freaks me out...She acts like I'm some sort of god!"

"Um...Yami...By Egyptian beliefs, isn't a pharaoh like a god?" Malik asked as I rolled my eyes, at the utter stupidity of the pharaoh.

"Yes! I know that, but your sister is like part of some me worshipping cult where she's the only member! It freaks me out, okay!"

"You're such an idiot." I scoff as he turns and gives me a glare. Like I'm really afraid. My Ra...I watched my entire village be destroyed, and I'm supposed to be afraid of the pharaoh? Tch, not likely. I'm more likley to be afraid of Ryou, who, might I add, wouldn't hit an inanimate object for fear of 'hurting' it. Whoops, got off subject again. But by now you should be accostomed to that...I spelt accostomed wrong...I did it again...Damn it. Hey, what do you expect from me? I'm Egyptian, leave me alone! You're just lucky I can write as well as I can! Marik can't even write his own name! Damn it! I'm off subject again! I blame it on Adult ADD!

Okay back on topic...What was I talking about? Oh yeah! Okay, so apparently the pharaoh had a clear dislike of Isis. Funny thing is, I could see the two of them together...You know...If the pharaoh hadn't already tried to stake claim on Akefia. I wonder if he really thought I'd let him do that? Man, has he lost his mind? But hey, I'm not complaining, I've been waiting for a reason to kill him.

Yes, I still want him dead. Why? I'm not quite sure I remember...Oh yeah! To get back at him for something...Damn...I had it, but it just slipped my mind again...Don't ya hate it when that happens? I'm too busy ranting. I told ya I would do it again.

"Hey, hey, hey! You scratch that bike and I'll get Marik down here to chop you into pieces! I'm sure he'd have loads of fun!" Malik threatened as both Atemu and Akefia got close enough to put their paws on his bike.

"Akefia, leave the bike alone! For Ra's sake! It's nothing special! It does the same thing as a horse."

"So it's another horse? They sure do look different in the modern world."

"Gah! It's not an actual horse, Akefia!"

By now Yami was all but rolling on the ground in laughter. Poor Malik, didn't really know much of what was going on...He knew a few words of ancient Egyptian. Yes, he could speak the more modern versions, but not the Egyptian dialect we were speaking.

"Would you shut the hell up? You dumbass!" I screamed at Yami in Japanese. Malik understood that, since he began to snicker.

"If it's not a horse...Then what is it?" Atemu asked, looking at me, curiously.

It was my turn to laugh. Atemu was just as dense as Akefia, but it was more funny on him, since he's supposed to 'know all', you know, that stupid shit. Yami bit his lip, but not because he was holding back laughter. He was now mad that I was laughing at Atemu.

Well haha! Yeah, Oh my 'holier than thou' pharaoh, do come over here, so I can kick you in the head for being such a dumbass. Nyahahaha! Yes, that was necessary. Oh course, I might stab myself on his pointy tri-colored palm tree looking hair, so maybe I'll pass for now. At least until he runs out of hair gel...

I wonder what Atemu uses? Tree sap maybe? But that would be hard to get in Egypt...At least the good stuff anyways. But then again he WAS a king. But so was I, so HA! And my title was cooler! I mean, how kingly does 'King of Games' sound? At least 'King of Thieves' was somewhat intimidating! God I am so much cooler than he is...it's frightening. Yes, I'm being concieted and yes, I'm off topic again. What's your point?

"Well, I'm going to go find Marik now, um...have fun trying to get them back." Malik laughed slightly.

"Oh yes, Indeed we will," was my ever so sarcastic reply.

"Well damn, that sounded so heart felt." Malik rolled his eyes.

"Trust me, it was. Tell that psycho yami of yours to call me later, If I don't call him first. I made a deal with him and now I have to go on a date with him." I rubbed the back of my neck absentmindedly.

"Oh..." Malik wore an irritated look. Did I mention that Malik and Marik were kinda...competeing over me? Oh yes I'm a popular one...Indeed. I kinda forgot that as I let that little bit of info slip out. Well, now Malik was about to go get into a fight with Marik, and probably get thrown in a river with a brick tied to his feet. Yes, I do believe Marik would do that...

"Not that I want to go or anything...He knows I'm not interested in him, but I always keep my word." I added, greatful that the look on his face softened. I didn't really want to see Malik in the newspaper under the dead people's section...what do they call that?...O-o..obituaries? I think that's right. I don't really read the newspaper much, so it's not like I'd catch it anyways, but you know what I mean. If I want to know about dead people, I'll go kill one myself and take pictures, as well as the person's possesions...I'm a thief what do you expect?

"Well, I'll catch you later Kura!" He hopped on his motorcycle, after shooing Atemu and Akefia away. It roared loudly as it took off in the direction I'd pointed to earlier.

"Damn it...I hate it when he calls me Kura!" I growled to myself.

"You never answered my question..." Atemu said, not dropping the subject.

"Fine! Gah! Since Damn Yami won't tell you then I will! It's a machine. Made of metal, but it's constructed so that it moves on it's own. It does the same thing a horse does, but it doesn't die or get tired or other shit like that. The big one is a car, the smaller one as I mentioned before is a motorcycle! Understand?"

"I do." Akefia answered.

"How do they get it to move on it's own though?" Atemu asked.

"What do I look like a god damn mechanic?"

"What's a mechanic?"

"GAH!"

"Just shut up pharaoh, ask you're own future self." Akefia hissed, clearly getting annoyed.

"You shut up, you damn commoner!" Atemu countered.

"Don't tell me what to do! Remember it wouldn't be hard to kill you where you stand! After all you don't have your priests to protect you now!"

"Akefia, stop. This isn't getting us anywhere...Though I would like to watch you kill him, I'm afraid we can't." I intervened.

"You're sooo lucky pharaoh!"

"I'm real afraid!" Atemu rolled his eyes.

"You should be!"

"Tch, funny I'm not!" Akefia was only inches away from him glaring almost, eye level with him.

Atemu glared back. Then after a moment made a quick movement forward capturing MY pastself's lips with his own...OH MY FUCKING RA!

And Akefia leaned into it...

Yami stared at the two, equally horrified.

OH HELL NO!

I couldn't watch that! I jumped forward pulling Akefia away from the bastard pharaoh. How dare he! That's it! He's dead! I didn't care if it fucked up the future. He just made a very big mistake!

Leo: And there's another chapter complete! I was so eager to write the next part that I'm already half done with it! Go me! And I actually made an attempt to edit this. The spelling mistake Bakura made, was intentional! He mentioned it, so don't get mad! If I make a mistake, tell me where it's at, so I can fix it! I do appreciate it muchly! That's probably not a word...But I don't care! Lala! Until next chapter! Nya! Bakura and Akefia: ...:hugs the readers and double hugs the reviewers:... 


	7. Take That Pharaoh

Leo: Well, I shocked you all! Haha! Oh and this is only the beginning! ...:smirks evilly:... Well on to my babble of appreciation, which I would be shocked if you actually read! Happiness's Deceit: Haha! You weren't expecting that ne? Don't worry, they're still enemies! Jazhira: The dreaded cliff hanger! Nyahahahahaha! Don't worry, I'm not making this a casteshipping! I just had to throw that in there for fun!  
Bakura: ...:whispers:... cause he's evil Leo: shut up Kura, be a good slav-er-buddy! Anyways... Fear of falling: That was personally my favorite line too. I could so see Bakura saying that. I got slapthed! ...:fakes tears:... Don't worry, it's going to stay geminishipping! And of course I'm going to keep with this story! It's my most popular one! 40 reviews already! ...:Is happy:... Pikpik246: Glad you found it funny! My job here is complete...well...not yet. Did you get the message I sent you? I changed the address of my group and gave it a pretty new look! T.Lei: Oh this story will only get better! I wasn't expecting it to hit off so well! Go me! Hehe, I use the phrase 'oh hell no' a lot and thought it would fit Bakura, and indeed it did. Sirithiliel: You like this chapter, I can guarantee that! Meowzy-chan: Yes, the horses are quite loved! Just wait til the chapter where they ride IN one! The river with brick tied to the feet is actually one of my threats...Even though I rarely use them...I too nice... NubianQueen413: Hehe, don't worry Bakura gets even! YamiMisao: Yep! I like to shock the crowd everynow and then. Yami Pandora: I'm glad you enjoyed it, this is the story I enjoy writing most!  
Bakura: Are you done with your mindless ranting?  
Leo: Yes  
Bakura: Good, then we can get to the story.  
Leo: You just like hearing yourself talk...Anyways on to chapter Six! 

Two of the Same Kind Chapter 6

At that moment I could have done a number of things to the pharaoh. I could have hung him by his ankles and beat him with a two-by-four, or smashed his head open with a shovel, which I would promtly use to bury his dead body, or I could have set about knocking all his teeth out with my fist alone, then doing one of the two previous ideas. As I was plotting the pharaoh's death in a very painful way, Akefia, recovering from his shock, decided to act as I was building up my rage into usable energy.

His face turned a dull red color and he blanched. The pharaoh, the past (bastard) one, smirked. Yami looked ready to pass out. Damn pharaoh, useless dumbass. Akefia's hand which was balled into a fist in front of him, opened up and he swung it at Atemu. The back of his hand connected beautifully with Atemu's face.

"What the hell was that?" Akefia demanded, but his question was unanswered as I leapt at Atemu. Both Yami and Akefia were panicking (Akefia more cheering than panicking really) as I viciously attacked Atemu, with every intention to torture, kill, maim, hurt, annihilate, destroy, demolish, damage, mar, harm, disfigure, deface, injure, wound, dismantle, torment, cripple, paralyze and any other synonym for making him hurt really fucking bad!

I sunk my fangs right down on his shoulder. And I smirked as he wailed in pain. That serves you right! Yami, was trying, unsuccessfully, to pull me off. I smack Atemu. Again. And again. And another time. Oh hell, I was on a roll. Now it was time to break his legs.

"Yami Bakura! What are you doing!" I heard my hikari's voice scream out as he ran out into the area right in front of the game shop. The location of which I was currently trying to carry out my plans for killing the idiot pharaoh. And I'd just gotten the great idea to hammer a nail into the end of that two-by-four.

"I'm killing this stupid bastard! What else?" I growled as I stood up and delivered a swift kick into his gut. I bent down and grabbed him. I lifted him up and backhanded him multiple times.

"Stop this now thief!" Yami struggled to get between me and Atemu. So, what did I do? I smacked Yami too.

It was Ryou's turn to try and convince me to stop. I couldn't just hit him. He was my hikari! Not to mention, hitting Ryou would be like hitting a puppy with a baseball bat...It's just...wrong. He then proceeded to give me the puppy eyes. And I'll be damned if I've ever resisted his puppy eyes...Well, from what the pharaoh tells me, I'm already damned...But that's beside the actual point I was trying to make.

I dropped Atemu and walked away from him, with Ryou at my side questioning why I'd gone off on him. I was trying to think of a way to tell Ryou with out him getting mad at me. I growled as the image replayed. I looked over at the pharaoh who was on the ground still, with Yami trying to help him up.

On an impulse I darted back over to Atemu and landed one more solid kick, just for the record. I then slinked back over to Ryou, who now had his arms crossed sending an angry look at me. Not like I was afraid. Like I said, Ryou's like a puppy, you're more likely to cuddle and squish it than you would be to hit it.

"That bastard started it!" I pointed accusingly, knowing full well that I looked like a child. But you know what? I didn't care!

Akefia stood on my other side, giving me a look. I turned my head and bit my lip as the urge to blush crept through.

"What did he do, that was so bad?" Ryou asked innocently.

"He kissed Akefia." I mumbled, not really up to showing how utterly jealous it made me. Yes, I'll admit, I was jealous! How dare that pharaoh touch what's mine! Okay, that's so very weird...Is it wrong to crush on yourself, if that's what you want to call it? Well, considering he's my past self, I don't think so...Or maybe I do...I don't know! I'm confused again! Ra damn it! Hey hey hey! Bakura, don't you be cursing in a god's name! Oh hell, now I'm talking to myself...I think it's time for some Prozac...Yeah.

"What was that?" My hikari didn't hear me? And after I just went off into a whole paragraph? Grrr!

"I said, Atemu kissed Akefia." Another mumble.

"Bakura, I can't hear you speak up." Ryou persisted.

"GAH! I SAID, THE STUPID JERK OFF PHARAOH KISSED AKEFIA!" He heard that time.

"Yami is that a reason to knock the daylights out of Atemu?" Ryou asked in a disbelieving voice. He thought I'd lost my mind. Well, newflash little light of mine, I lost that eions ago. And I think I left it in Egypt. Do you know how hard it's going to be to find THAT in all of that sand? Tch, don't hold your breath on it, okay hikari?

"Yes, yes I do believe it was." I snorted and folded my arms over my chest and gave him the, 'I AM right' look. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go home and wash the pharaoh's blood out of my mouth."

Perhaps biting him wasn't such a bright idea. I had that nasty taste in my mouth. Now generally I don't mind the taste of blood, I've eaten raw meat before, but this was Atemu's blood, which meant one of two things. Wash my mouth out with soap, swish boiling water, or cut my tongue out. And I'd prefur to avoid the last two.

I grabbed Akefia and stomped away from the game shop. I could hear Ryou's voice as he continuously tried to apologize for my behavior. Niether of the pharaoh's could get mad at me, I was justified. And if you even try to argue with me, then I'll...I'll do something you won't like! What are your biggest fears by the way? Why, you ask? Oh, no reason.

"What was it you said, when the other white haired one spoke to you? What did he say that made you yell like that?" Akefia asked.

"He asked why I kicked the shit out of the Royal bastard Atemu." Wow, I just noticed how colorful my language has become.

"Why did you do that? I could have handled that myself." He frowned slightly before turning away.

"Oh yeah, you handled it marvelously! If leaning into that kiss was considered fighting back!"

"What are you jealous or something? I hadn't intended to kiss him back! I hate his Ra damned guts!" Akefia yelled back at me.

We'd both stopped and were now facing eachother, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, just...screaming at each other. Man, I wish I could have been outside looking in on that...

"I'm not jealous!" I screamed, though it was quite obvious I wasn't telling the truth. And he caught it too.

"You're an awful liar! Stick to thieving!"

"SHUT UP! If you wouldn't have let him do it! Then I wouldn't have had to attack him!"

"Don't blame this on me! It's not my fault you're a fucking psycho!" He growled.

"Newsflash, Akefia, you're a psycho too!"

He took a step closer to me. I was expecting him to hit me. His glare remained as he stepped toe to toe with me. I wasn't, however, expecting him to reach out and place his hand on both sides of my face. Nor was I expecting him to pull me toward him and I was least expecting of the feel of his lips against my own.

He pressed himself against me, or maybe I pulled him to me. I'm not sure which it was. All I know is that my arms were wrapped around his waist as we began to explore each other's mouths, with our tongues. You people like this don't you? You perverts! Well, not like I have much room to talk.

I would have stayed that way and I desperately wanted to, but I was still mad at him. I pulled back and he looked away, his face changing colors. He could clearly see I was still fuming. And I can't be swayed until I've gotten back at the person...Granted I did kick the pharaoh's ass, but I was still quite pissed off at Akefia for leaning into that damn kiss.

"Come on," I said pulling him along. "We're going back home." I said. I decided that I had a phone call to make.

If he was going to suck face with the pharaoh, then I was going to have my fun. Seeing as how he had just showed his affection for me, it was safe to assume he would get jealous. So...Let's see just how jealous he can get.

When we walked into the house I picked up the phone and dialed Marik's number, hoping that he was already home.

"What do you want?" Marik's voice answered.

"Nice to talk to you too." I replied.

"Oh, hey Kura."

"So...You ready to take me on a date?" I said in Egyptian just so Akefia could hear. He probably didn't know what date meant, but by the look on his face, it was obvious he didn't like the sound of it.

"When?"

"How about tonight? That work for you?" I glanced up at Akefia, who was glaring at me.

"Sounds good to me, I'll come get you later."

Call it the childish game of revenge, but on a smaller scale.

Leo: Nyahahaha! Weren't expecting that either were you? Oh I'm so positively evil!  
Bakura: That sounded retarded.  
Leo: Oh leave me alone...Well. The next chapter should be just as entertaining, if not more! There won't be any pharaoh kicking...but I'll find something to make up for that!  
Bakura: I bet you will.  
Leo: Okay, so bye bye until next chappyter!  
Bakura and Akefia: ...:hugs the readers:...


	8. Before date amusement

Leo: o.o wow...We got lots of reviews this chapter guys.  
Bakura: So I noticed.  
Leo: And you guys are totally boosting my ego...Okay! Here goes my thanks! This is going to be long... Jazhira: The keyword is almost! but in the end the bastard deserved the beating he got! And yes, it is evil to hit a puppy with anything, much less a bat! T.Lei: Again, Ryou and the puppy are a perfect analogy. Happiness's Deceit: I would have made Bakura hurt him worse, but then i would have had to change the rating for burning a character at the stake. And mixed signals are just wonderful for stories like theses! Especially with two stubborn males! Fear of Falling: The puppy part seemed to be every one's favorite part, myself included. And I had to make Bakura kick him again. I know I would have. And yes. I know that was very creepy for me to say...I won't do it again. For MY dignity's sake. And I'm not going to even question what a Banana Fish story is... DojomistressAmbyChan: I love surprises so expect one every now and then. And this story is so much fun to write! Dragonlady222: Yes, jealousy plays a big role in this story...Silly silly boys. Sirithiliel: Well, Bakura didn't kill him ..heh heh...but I guess you enjoyed seeing Bakura kick the crap out of the pharaoh...I would have enjoyed it too... Yoko no Tenchii: Well I post this story often so you won't have to wait too long! Meowsy-chan: Heh, I had fun thinking out those ways for Bakura to kill him. I'm a sick sick person, since it took me all of three seconds to write them out. But hey you enjoyed it. Asaake: It's updated! Yay! Yaoiloverever: I'm glad you liked! YamiMisao: Heh, this chapter won't be nearly as entertaining as the next one but you'll enjoy this one. Her Sweetness: Thank you for the compliments. You guys are puffing up me ego so bad! But I write more as a result, so thank you all! Ryua Malfoy: It's updated, don't send make them send me to that shadow realm! I'll be a good writer! Okay I'm done. whew! On to the chapter now. 

Two of the Same Kind Chapter 7

It was agreed. Marik would pick me up at around sevenish. So I had half a day to figure out what the hell I was supposed to do with Akefia. That thought hadn't crossed my mind until I hung up the phone.

I looked over at Akefia who was giving me a death glare. Tch, idiot. For all he knew a 'date' could be like saying 'hey Mariku, let's go sit in the front yard and throw marshmellows at people while eating cotton balls. He had no clue what it meant. Oh and don't eat cotton balls...that's not good for you...Take it from someone who knows...Yes Marik and I DID do that...So? Just because he chases after me relentlessly, doesn't mean that we don't hang out. He's still a freak though, my opinion won't change...Even if he's my best friend...

Guh...I said the evil F word, Anzu would have a field day if she heard that, the little bitch...No, not 'fuck', you moron. I'll say that...It's one of my favorite words...My Ra, why do I keep putting all the friggin periods? I'll stick to one '.' per sentence. I promise...Damn it! So I lied...ANYWAYS, we were talking about the F word. Oh yes I love that word. Ryou hates it when I walk through the store screaming it at the top of my lungs. Oh we were talking about the 'other' F word...that's right. The f-r-i-e-n-d word.

Man, I get off topic so fast don't I? Well, you're not complaining, since you got this far. Congrats to you. Not really, but I thought I'd make the gesture. Ryou says it's good to be nice. I think he's just a goody two shoes. Wait, I just thought of something, how the hell does goody two shoes apply to a nice person? I basically just compared my hikari to a pair of shoes...I wouldn't even compare the pharaoh to a pair of shoes!...Wait, yes I would. Okay never mind.

Alright! Gah! The shit that flows through my mind! Okay, back on subject! Either way I ignored Akefia and walked passed him into the kitchen. I was hungry, so I assumed he had to be too. I knew he would follow and of course, he didn't let me down. I opened the fridge in search of something that I could make for us. For as we all know I'm not the cook extraordinaire.

I quickly noticed a pair of eyes peering over my shoulder. I looked back to see him glaring at...the refrigerator. Yes, he was glaring at the machine of greatness. Of all modern things I respect the fridge most, it stores so much food! So you don't have to waste anything. Now the dishwasher, on the other hand, just pissed me off. I nearly broke my leg after it fell open in the middle of the wash cycle...Boiling water on skin is not fun. Then slipping on the water and cracking your head open on the counter doesn't help either. Okay, so I didn't crack my head open, but I did manage to inflict damage upon my forehead. And who knew Ryou knew how to sew? I didn't even have to go to the hospital!  
Well, needless to say Akefia was suspicious of the electronic food preservation box. Didn't that sound cool? I'm going to start calling the fridge that! So, I pulled some things out and began to put together some sandwiches. I can make that with out burning myself. Unless I'm playing with matches at the same time...But that won't happen again because Ryou hid all the fire producing instruments. Although I could probably find them easily.

"So, um...what exactly is this date you spoke of?" He asked sitting down in the chair across from where I was standing. We had one of those long counters that had bar stools on the other side. It's much better than a table in my opinion.

"Oh, with Mariku?" I said using a more pettish sounding name for him. No matter how much you try to convince me, it won't stop me from thinking that 'Mariku' sounds like something you would call him as a pet name.

"Yeah..." Akefia blinked at my change in tone. I was going to see just how far under his skin I could dig. So I spoke with a fondness in my voice...That'll teach him to let the friggin pharaoh kiss him.

"Oh basically it means, he'll take me out to eat. A nice dinner for two. Then maybe a stroll in the park. Rob a store or two, he knows I like that. Then we'll go back to his apartment and probably have hot nasty sex on his kitchen floor."

"WHAT?" I smiled as he shot out of his seat and his hands slamed on the counter top.

"I was kidding, sit down. Well, maybe not about the sex thing...I bet he'd be good...He's a sadistic guy, so he'd probably be into the pain thing. But I'm a masochist so that kinda works..."

I heard a growl and looked up to see his left eye twitching and his fist clenching, unclenching and tightening up again.

"Will you relax, I'm pulling your leg. Though we will probably do everything other than that. He'll try to sneak a kiss, he usually does, even if I kick his ass for it...Even when we're not on a date. He's a good kisser though...I must admit that much."

Oh, the sickening joy I get out of watching him fume. If you think about it, in a sense, I'm enjoying torturing myself. I'm such a sado-masochist. I had to try real hard not to just start laughing.

"What's wrong Akefia? You seem...distressed?" Oh yeah, payback's a bitch. That'll teach you...Damn pharaoh. Damn pharaoh. Damn pharaoh. Yes, I'm not yet over that. Stupid baka pharaoh.

"Nothing." He grumbled as I gave him his sandwhich, which thankfully he didn't question and just started eating it. "I hope you have 'fun' on your little outing." He growled.

"Oh, I probably will." I said idle taking a bite out of my sandwich.

I was seriously contemplating kissing Yami in front of him just to see what he would do to the 'Bastard Pharaoh' (my new name for him), but the thought of me...kissing...that, was enough to make me change my mind. I mean, ew... Yes that was immature, and yes I'm still being immature, but damn...the pharaoh! Why? Why'd he do it? Which now means both pharaohs are after Akefia...fuck.

But that only means he's in the same situation as I am. Only the two people chasing me are runaway mental patients...Well not so much Malik as Marik...But they're both crazier than the pharaohs. And I can't promise that (with out lying this time).

He pulled the silent treatment on me. Damn, I was such a bitch back then. But Fine, I could do it too. I didn't want to talk to him any way! Jealous two timer! Oh...I got to stop that...I making it sound like we were a couple.

I heard the front door open and for lack of better things to do I ventured out. "Hello hikari, welco-" I stoppped when I realized it wasn't my hikari like I'd expected.

Standing in the middle of our living room was the bastard Pharaoh (Yami) himself. He had quite an angry look on his face. He approached me completely throwing caution to the wind. A clear sign he was angry. After all he never goes near me without making sure to guard himself and he never takes his eyes off me...My..do you think he doesn't trust me? I wonder...

"What are you doing here pharaoh!"

He stepped up to me and with out warning his hand flew across my face. Knocking me to the floor. Now I may have played dirtier than him and in the past have been stronger than him, but now I was both smaller and weaker than he was. Okay let me clarify, when Yami got his own separate body, he was taller, not short like he was when he shared Yugi's, now when I got my new body, it stayed the same because Ryou's height is about how tall I was in the past.

And, granted, Yami's not as tall as he was in the past, he's still bigger than I am. And since he got his new body way before I got mine, he was inevitably stronger. Which is my second reason for hating his guts. I was gifted with faster speed and an intelligence level higher than his but that wouldn't help me in a case like this.

He picked me up from the floor and slammed me back into the wall. I cried out as my back hit the wooden strip that goes along the wall, halfway between the floor and ceiling. You know, one of those decorative things?

"You try that again thief and I promise, you'll live to regret it. I don't care how much that offended you, if you attack Atemu again I'll take that damn ring and smash it into pieces, go ahead and try me."

"Get your hands off him you Bastard Pharaoh." I heard Akefia's growling and turned my head to see him standing at Yami's side with a kitchen knife against the back of his neck.

Yami backed up, the angry look in his eyes didn't fade. He was not afraid of Akefia, but he was aware that Akefia would kill him if he didn't back up. He turned away, brushed passed Akefia and headed for the front door. As he opened the door and walked out, he turned to cast a glance at us.

"Remember what I said, I'd hate to have to add you to my list of destroyed souls1."

He shut the door behind him and I slumped against the wall.

"What was that all about?" Akefia asked.

"He was angry becuase I attacked Atemu. And he thought he'd come and tell me in person..."

"Are you okay?"

"My back hurts, but i'm okay." I said looking up as the door opened again. This time it was my hikari who walked in.

"What happened? Why did Yami just walked out of here?"

"It's nothing hikari. Can can you do me a favor?"

"Depends on what it is..."

"Can you watch Akefia tonight."

"Why aren't you going to be here?" He gave my the confused look. I would have said innocent look, but every look he gives is innocent, so there's not purpose in mentioning it.

"Because I have a date with Marik," I laughed nervously.

1 In season one, Yami kinda took no pity on people...And just mind crushed anyone who he thought deserved it, so that's what his list of destroyed souls refers to...

Leo: Yay! Another chappy! I'll make this short since it's starting to storm and I want to get this up! Bye bye til next time! R&R for me! Bakura and Akefia: ...:hugs the readers:...


	9. The Date Part One

Leo: Wow! lots of attention this chapter!  
Bakura: Oh happy day.  
Leo: Shut up, anyways. Time for my thanks...THIS COULD BE LONG.. Happiness's Deceit: If you like violence, be expecting some! Because the pharaohs aren't done yet! And now Marik and eventually Malik enter the picture! Violence IS fun! Don't forget that kids! (god don't sue me for saying that! I'm not trying to corrupt children. who shouldn't be reading this in the first place. I'm just stating facts!) Jazhira: Oh this date will be fun, because I added in a few interesting things to make it more entertaining, or should I say, a few 'someones'...Dragonlady222: This will be so much fun. You'll like it I promise. Asaake: It's updated! yay! Ryua Malfoy: I actually do the period thing...but to make up for it I had Bakura do it. That way it seems I did it on purpose...Of course partially I did, but that's not the point. Thank you for telling me that wooden strip was called wainscotting. I didn't know, and I figured, oh hell if I don't know, is Bakura really gonna know?

Fear of falling: Now that idea with the marshmellows and cotton balls was actually based off something I've actually done. In a tired haze, me and a friend of mine sat out in their front yard at like midnight with a book of matches, a candle, some crayons, a bag of marshmellows and a bunch of cotton balls. well...the morale of that story kids is don't eat cotton balls, while roasting marshmellows over a candle while melting crayons down to wax puddles. First of all, that's just not healthy and second you will smell like crayons for weeks. Not to mention cottons balls are not good for your digestive system...But moving on! And I don't read much of the new manga, where I live we get all the new stuff, like dead last. Meowzy-chan: Yami is a bitch! Bad Yami! Still cute though...Especially in his leather...But either way, If I killed him off then I wouldn't be able to mercilessly torture him later now would I? Akefia entertains himself in sure a cute, and quite unexpected way...You'll just have to read now won't you? Her Sweetness: It's updated! Wee!

Yoko no Tenchii: Hopefully this chapter will be even better! Sirithiliel: Deep breaths, Yami will get his, don't you worry! HeidiGCGD: Love triangles are so much fun! And every one has a weakness, I don't care what they say. Geminishipping to rare...and that makes me sad...So I shall continue this in hope that others will follow my lead! I've never actually read another geminishipping myself...YamiMisao: Yeah, but Bakura will get pay back, because as he would say, "Two wrongs don't make a right, but it sure as hell makes you feel better." DojomistressAmbyChan: Yami's just an ass...heh, there was probably a motive there, but you'll just have a wait and see. Heh, the date will be one of the highlights of this story, then the trip to the movies...heh, little spoiler there. I actually used those lines when I was explaining to a jealous other what I was going to do on one of my 'promised' dates. He was so mad...It was great. Pizzamaniac: Don't you worry! The word ass doesn't offend me. I mean how many times had Bakura used 'fuck' in the last chapters? Oh ...shit..I wasn't supposed to say that...Okay I will stop now...

Oh my Ra! That was long! I might have to start organizing this differently...Well now that that is done on to the chapter!

Two of The Same Kind Chapter 8

"Repeat that?" Ryou looked at me his jaw nearly dropping to the floor.

"Um...can you watch Akefia?" I said looking away.

"No, after that."

"Um...because I have a date?"

"With who?" Wow...Ryou's getting pushy.

"Marik..." I answered, not really wanting to explain why.

"Whoa...Hold on...I thought you said you'd 'rather be drug into the pits of hell to burn for eternity, have all of your ribs broken out with a paper weight and have all your limbs sawed off with a butter knife', than date marik?"

All I could do was blink at my hikari. It's amazing the shit that he DOES remember. And hearing them from him is like...weird...Almost makes me feel like I've tainted an angel... Who the hell am I kidding? I don't care. I encourage violence... Violence is good... Especially when it's toward a certain pointy haired bastard face, dumb migit (yet still taller than me...it's not fair) pharaoh. Speaking of which...I have revenge to think about. I'll kick both of them! And I won't stop til they DIEEEE! Then I'll take the puzzle and use it as a salt shaker... (Insert my evil laughter here).

Ahem...I'm done...Damn it with the periods! Oh well...get used to it. Anyways. So my hikari was looking at me like I'd lost my mind. Again back to the part where I never had it to begin with. Okay so last time I said I lost it...Well I changed my mind! I never had a mind to lose! So there! moving on!

"Um...well you see, I kinda made a promise to him and I really don't want to go but I don't lie because I Just don't and..." I stoppped when I realized he was giving me that, 'enough with the bullshit' look.

"Yeah right, what's really going on?" He crossed his arms.

"Okay, I'm doing it for payback." I said looking away.

"To him?" Ryou said gesturing to Akefia with out being obvious about it.

"Yes." I snapped in a silent hiss.

"How cute." Ryou giggled.

"What?" I looked up startled that he said that. I expected him to plain out laugh...actually now that I think about it...no I didn't. My hikari's to nice to laugh at me, especially knowing that I would dye all his clothes pink if he did. Sure I never hit my hikari, like people like to believe, but I have ways of making him suffer! Muahahahaha!

"You're cute when you're jealous." He grinned, still giggling.

"I'm NOT jealous!" I tightened my fist, suppressing my insane urge to do something I never do...No, I don't mean to hit Ryou, you sickos, what I mean is...to blush. "Can you do it or not?" I asked wanting to run out of the room.

"Sure...We won't understand each other though." Ryou blinked.

"Then sit him on the floor with a rubiks cube and he'll be fine."

"Hehe...I don't think that'll work yami."

"Try it, you never know. Now I'm going to go start getting ready. That way I'll have a few hours to try to explain this to him." I said indicating my past self. "And maybe teach him a few words, so you can communicate."

"Okay." Ryou smiled as I turned and bounced off to my room. Yes, I said bounced...Don't ask, or I'll have to kill you. There, that enough psycho Bakura for you? No? You want more? Okay, hold on let me draw a picture of Yami, then I'll tack it to my door and throw knives at it. And hopefully he'll walk through the door when I throw the last one...MUAHAHAHAHAH! ...Okay, I'm done now.

So looooong story short I took my shower, I know you all want details...ah you perverts! But I can't help it if I'm sexeh! Not everyone is gifted like I am. Here let me do the hair flip thing to make it more effective, you know that thing that Mai girl always does...

Well, I put clothes on after that, I know you're all sad now...But if it makes you feel better it was leather. Nice tight shiny black leather! Hahaha! Bask in my awesomeness! And yes, I know I'm very good at being arrogant. It's yet another one of my natural talents. (Insert hair flip here).

Anyways, dried my hair, the blah blah. Then I proceeded to take my hot self down stairs. Yes, most of this chapter will be dedicated to my arrogance. Deal with it. I don't hear you complaining anyways.

Akefia and Ryou were in the living room. Akefia was sitting in a chair on the far end of the monster world table...With a friggin rubiks cube.

"You actually have one of those things?"

"Yes, I could never beat it, so I dug it out of my closet and gave it to him. I think he understands the base concept he's been working at it pretty well." Ryou answered.

I sighed and walked over to Akefia, I took the cube from him looked at it for about two minutes then after forty or so twisted I set it back on the table. Each side bearing it's single designated color.

"Oh my gods of Ra!" Ryou gasp jumping up from his place on the couch.

'Oh my gods of Ra'? man i'm seriously rubbing off on this kid. I wonder if that should be considered a good thing, or a bad thing. Well to me it's good, so I don't care what the other idiots say. I dare them to tell ME I'm wrong. Let's see how long they live after that.

"What hikari?" I looked at him as he walked over to the mulicolored block thing.

"How did you-? It took me three years just to get one side!" He looked at me and blinked.

"My light, when you've spent 5000 years in the ring, shit like this becomes easy. Well it's time to teach you a few things right, Akefia?" I switched from Japanese to Egyptian in mid sentence.

"What ever...I thought you were going on your date?" He almost growled...Touchy..

"I am, thank you for asking, but you're going to be with Ryou, and you and him don't exactly speak the same language."

"Give me that block back! And I'll be fine." He grumbled. I picked up the damn cube jumbled it up again and stuck it in front of him.

"Fine, enjoy yourself." I turned to Ryou. "You know it's a shame that modern television does have coptic captioning." I sighed.

"Coptic?"

"That's the technical term for the ancient language in that general location. you know like, you call Japanese speaking...Japanese? It's just a little less obvious...Oh don't ask me! Damn modern historian people!"

"Okaaay... I get your point though. Of course it's not like anyone would exactly expect 'this'!" He pointed in Akefia's direction.

"And you think they're more likely to believe that an ancient spirit just popped out of your ring?"

"No, but I really don't think they'd be prepared to accomodate either of you..."

"Well shit then that gets us no where!"

"Where was that conversation going anyways?"

"I really don't remember hikari..."

(Insert silent moment here)

"Good I'm not alone."

Okay well, since nothing intertaining happened in the remaining three hours I shall skip it! Muahaha! Because I can do that! I have that power hahahaha! Not like you wanted to hear about me sitting and watching crap on TV. I mean Ra...How many episodes of Sailor Moon are there? Don't ask, my hikari was watching it...not me...Though I thought it was funny when the tuxedo guy died...To bad he came back...I won't even say how gay he was! Because that would be insulting myself and all other not so straight people every where! He's definately heterosexual...yeah! Okay...I'm soooo getting off that topic. I'm freaking myself out.

Anyways...Then Marik called to inform me that he was on his way. On his nice shiny motorcycle. If nothing else I was looking forward to that! So I pretty much told Akefia to sit put for a few hours. I mean I spent 5000 years in the ring, I'd better not hear about him being bored.

Then Marik actually showed up. I walked out the door, not wanting Akefia to start anything. I could just see it in his eyes that he wanted to rip Marik limb from limb. And as amusing as that would be to watch I had to pass. Maybe next time though.

"You ready?" Marik asked. I nodded and cast one last glance at Ryou before closing the door.

I turned and looked at Marik. I couldn't help but stare at him! I mean, okay YOU tell me who WOULDN'T be staring at him? Nice and tall, tanned skin, which is a nice combination to blonde hair. Of course maybe his is a bit too spiked. But still.

Of course to me he's just eye candy. He's not exactly the person I would want to call my lover. I twitch at the thought. But hey I'm not going to let that ruin my evening...Okay, yes actually it probably will...

We both hopped on his motorcycle. The only cool thing he really has...Well then we were off. We stopped at a resteraunt. Yes, Marik was actually taking me on a normal people date. Both hopping off we strode in.

"Wow, you're actually making a real attempt." I smirked at him as we were seated in a booth.

"I can be human too, you know."

"GASP!"

"Very cute," He rolled his eyes.

"What do you mean you're booked!" We both turned our heads to the sound of the voice.

Seeing who it was I looked back at Marik, "How expensive is this place?"

"I can't tell you that..." He looked away.

"I'm sorry sir, we can't-"

"You'd better find something open! I had a reservation!"

"It's okay, we can find another place." The person at his side whispered trying to keep him from making a scene...well, he was too late.

"Oh my Ra...Seto!" I called. He shut up long enough to look in my direction. "Don't glare at me!" I moved over to sit on Marik's side. "We've got empty seats so get your ass over here and quit embarassing Jou!"

"Fine, we'll do that." Seto said walking away from the man with Jou bouncing behind him.

"Thank you, you saved us a lot of trouble..." Jou laughed nervously. Now...Unlike the pharaoh and his little petty friends, with the exception of Jou, I could tolerate these two. For the purpose that Seto is as heartless as I am...And Jou's a kid who likes to fight, and both have attitudes. These are my kind of people.

And yes, despite common knowledge of foolish pharaoh's friends, we actually were good enough friends for a first name basis. After all Kaiba specially invited me to the opening of his first Kaiba land! Now how's that for special treatment!

Of course, with that said, both Seto and Marik like...No, LOVE to make scenes. Which worried me...

I was quickly snapped out of my train of thought as I caught a nice glowly light from the corner of my eye. It didn't sink in for several minutes that it was actually the table cloth erupting into flames.

"Gaaah! What the hell did you do Marik?" I screamed out of instinct.

"It wasn't me!"

"I'm sorry I hit the candle! I didn't know it was lit!" Jou joined in the freak out session.

"For the love of..." Seto slammed his brief case down on the flames. The action caused ashes to go flying out at Marik.

"Oh you are so dead moneybags..." Marik said in a monotone threat.

"Do you take that brief case every where?" I asked the CEO.

"Of course."

"Guess I shouldn't have asked. And Marik, do me a favor will you?" I said without even glancing at him.

"Yes?"

"Put that knife back in the Napkin, you're not stabbing Seto in the middle of the resteraunt."

"Fine..." He grudgingly complied...

Oh this was going to be fun... Please be sure to note the sarcasm...Thank you.

Leo: Well, next chapter will be something of an amusement. Just imagine the havoc they will cause! Nyahaha! I will have fun writing that! Until then.  
Bakura: Why do I have to hug strangers?  
Leo: Cause they love you.  
Bakura: I don't know what's worse, the rabid fangirls, or you.  
Leo: Probably me, now shut up and hug your readers!  
Bakura and Akefia: ...:hugs the readers:... 


	10. The Date Part Two

Leo: Okay, I have a WARNING: Pig Latin is used in this...So if you don't know it...Don't worry it's easy to figure out what he's saying...besides, who DOESN'T know igPay atinLay? Anyways, my reviewer worship will now be located at the END of the chapters...Since it takes up so much room up here. So here's your chapter! 

Two of the Same Kind Chapter 9

Yes. I was having such a wonderful time, Marik was behaving, Seto was behaving, I was having a nice conversation with Jou...Okay, I just lied about everything but the conversation with Jou part. Seto and Marik, who were sitting across from each other, by some stroke of misfortune, were glowering at each other. And no matter how much I tried, I could not get Marik to break his grip on the knife. I'm telling you, they shouldn't let people have those...Especially Marik-like people. That's a death wish in itself.

"Come on, will you two stop with the angry glares?" Jou smiled nervousely. Can't say that I blame him.

"No...I'm fine thank you." Seto spoke as if he didn't even hear the words his lover said, which, knowing Seto, was the case.

"God, you two are being so immature...If you two don't behave I WILL separate you!" I spoke taking the knife from Marik after he loosened his grip from my smacking him.

"He started it." Marik growled.

"Well, I'm finishing it! Do you hear me! You too Seto. I'm not kidding. You're making asses out of yourself...And MORE importantly, me and Jou." I spoke momentarily feeling what it must be like to be a mother. Damn it all to hell if I should ever have kids...Well, that won't happen anyways...You won't catch me with a girl. Don't tell anyone I said that. I try to keep the illusion that I'm at least Bisexual. Because you know what they say nowadays...'Bi is the new straight'.

Okay, maybe that was a little bit open...But what the hell? You're reading this of your own free will. It's not like I've duct taped you to a chair and forced you to either suffer reading it or watch Anzu dance...Though I bet you like me to do that wouldn't you? You sick, sick, people...I'm slightly turned on...

...Just kidding.

"You know Bakura, if you were anyone else, I'd have called my retaliations department on you."

"I'm telling you Seto, if I get shot by your goons, I'm going to haunt your ass for eternity. And then i'll be sure to make my prescence noticed in your afterlife too."

"Like I said, you're not 'anyoneelse'." Seto humphed knowing that I was being true to my word. You can always tell when I'm lying. If I'm saying something evil...it's true. If it's nice and sugar coated...well no shit I'm lying. Nice things are for people like Anzu...who WILL get hit by a bus one day. A short bus...that I will be behind the wheel of. -Insert evil cackling-

I should also mention that Seto did remove his briecase/suitcase/place to hide body parts/whatever you call it, from the table. And we got a new table cloth...Of course they wouldn't let us have another candle...bastards...That's descrimination!

I resisted the urge to just walk out. This was not what I would call a nice fun date that made me so impressed that I wanted to run away and elope with Marik. Not that I would ever do that. Marik's...Marik...

eekSquay! ...Don't ask...Just don't...I learned a nice new, not actually REAL, language called pig latin...Now I can cuss with out getting in trouble...UckFay! -iggleGay-...I'm not sure where that came from, but my A.D.D. decided to share that with you. But you're not complaining right? For the sake of the blade in my hand, just agree with me. Thank you.

Anyways...Before I oh so rudely interrupted myself...I got to fix that...I must have like mulitple brain syndrome...No I don't think that's real...But that would explain the constant talking to myself...I think...Or maybe I do it because it's fun...What do you think Bakura? Yes I agree. What? Can't you people see I'm talking to myself? Tch, normal people...

Okay! Grah! I will NOT interrupt myself again! Okay...Well, you see Jou and I were talking while Marik and Seto continued their childish male try at a show of dominancy. At that point nothing would get their attention. As I was going to proove.

"Hey Jou...Wanna go out on Saturday? You know just you and me?" Jou looked a me for a few moments before realizing what I was doing. So he, greatful for the entertainment, played along.

"Oh hell, let's just skip the dating and go elope!" I tried not to snicker as he leaned a bit closer.

No reply from either of them...Okay, time to up the fire power a little.

"Let's go to Seto's office and have sex on his desk, what do you say?" Jou grinned biting his lip, as a assumed a was holding back a bout of laughter, just as I was.

"Sure why not! Oh I'm sure he won't mind!"

No reply still...Hmm...Now it was time to bring out the big dogs.

"Jou..." I motioned with my hand what I wanted him to do and he grinned.

"Bakura..." He leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine.

It was about the time he'd gotten his tongue in my mouth when Seto and Marik finally snapped out of their immature staring game. For a few seconds, the two stared at Jou and I's little make out session...Which was actually kind of nice. Jou's a good kisser at least. It was amazing they let it go as far as it had...considering we were all but throwing down on the table.

Seto and Marik pulled us apart at the same time. Jou put on a little pout, which was the same one I put on. The two looked as us as if to ask, 'whattheeffinghellonearth was that all about?'

Oh we're just evil...That's exactly why I like Jou. He likes to have his fun. Just like me. I could appreciate that. Most definately. Check out my short sentences. They're cool. Like Ernest Hemmingway...GASPSHOCKHORROROHMYEFFINGGODSOFRA! Yes. I know who Ernest Hemmingway is...He wrote 'Gone with the Wind' right? Just kidding...He wrote that book 'The old man and the sea'...How do I know that? I read the first two pages and set it on fire...I don't like to read. Hikari said it was a good book. Tch, book are for modern people...Modern people are like newbs in a chat room...Another wonderful thing my hikari has introduced to me.

Anyways...Don't know where all that came from, but you, by now, should expect it...and you know you like to hear the mindless things I babble about. Like that time I ate a pound of candle wax on a dare. That's mindless...Oh and don't do that, it's not good for you...for real...I'm serious.

"Well, we finally got your attentions." I huffed.

"Why did you pull us apart, he was just about to teach me that tongue thing!" Jou complained and I joined him in the evil snickering. He's a truely wicked little pup. I could just huggle him.

Yes, that's strange coming from me isn't it? Well, utShay Upay ouYay upidStay idiotay:translation:...nah nah! You don't get one: Nah...I don't mean that...I just wanted an excuse to say that. Okay, I'm done with the foreign speaking now...I promise...If you just caught that lie, then you've been paying attention to what you're reading. I'm proud of you...Now go jump in a lake for calling me a liar. Heh, I'm just kidding...Unless you're a hot guy wearing white...Then feel free to jump in that lake. While I take pictures of you while using the excuse the I'm a photographer just capturing the scene...

I'm not stalker material...Oh hell. I can't even TRY to lie about that...That just shot that would be paragraph to hell...

Seto could do nothing but glare at me, as if I did something wrong...Oh yeah. I just stuck my tongue down his lover's throat and vice-versa. Heh, whatSeto? We were only exchanging our trade secret techniques...what you don't believe me? Would this face ever lie? ...I hate you Seto...

Well, here comes the awkward silence...Nice good silnce...Where no one speaks... -crickets chirp- Yep silence... -tumble weed rolls by- ...Damn this is driving me nuts...

"God, shit, we only did it to get your attention!" I finally snapped.

"All you had to do was ask for it Kura.' Marik look at me and I resisted the urge to smack him up side his head...Oops...I didn't resist very well after all.

"Yeah right! Don't you think I tried that?" He said as he jerked back from my hand fwapping him on his head.

"So, that doesn't mean the two of you had to take it upon your self to make out!" Seto finally added.

"Well, gee Seto, you were looking awfully passionately at Marik..." Jou look at him with half lidded eyes.

"I was not!"

"Okay, let's just get over it, it's over, okay?" I spoke, seeming the only voice of reason at the moment. Damn...when did I take that title? I'm supposed to be the crazy ass!

"Fine." Seto grumbled.

"Fine." And Marik grumbled.

I know I could have made those two lines into one sentence, but you know what? I don't care! Haha! I have that power! Bask in my awesomeness! ...Didn't I say that last chapter? Oh well, whether I did or not, bask in my awesomeness again! -Insert hair flip here- Got to add one of those..you know...just for good measures...

Anyways...back to what I was saying that's actually semi-important...

Mmmm food. Yes, that was the next thing that came along...And to think all of that happened BEFORE the food actually arrived. I really wasn't sure WHAT I was eating...It was all French sounding...I don't speak French...But I do speak Igpay Atinlay:Pig Latin, for you people still foreign to my language:

As long as the meat was rare, I was good. And it better not have that nasty Asparagus itShay on it...That itShay is nasty...Oh the Joys of cussing and not getting in trouble by nosy hikaris...

Well, I was hoping that maybe...just maybe...because there was food in front of them, they would behave...That's wishful thinking Bakura...

...Wishful thinking...

Leo: 'eeekSquay', and 'GASPSHOCKHORROROHMYEFFINGGODSOFRA' are actually my two personal quotes...I love them. And I thought Bakura should enjoy them too...hence the reason they've been inserted into this chapter. Sorry this took so long and the date will probably span a few more chapters...I got into another fandom...And I'm gracefully juggling the two... Reviewer worship time:

Asaake: It only took me forever, but here's your update!

Happiness's Deceit: Fire is good...Squeaku! And eye candy is like something pleasing to the eye :coughhotlookingguycough:

Dragonlady222: I hope you liked this chapter. I added that nice little twist for all the BakuraxJou fans. Let's just hope Akefia never finds out about that one...Poor Jou...

Lily of the Shadow: Squeaku...Only if I can join...XD Just kidding. Comedy is my strong point...And half the retarded crap Bakura has done or talks about...Is actually partially based on my real life experiences...although changed a bit...Like...candle wax is bad...XD

NubianQueen413: Hyperness is fun...Except when I'm typing, because then I have habits of leaving letters out or writing entire paragraphs backwards!

Sirithiliel: (I've mastered writing your name! eekSquay!) I hope you liked this one...the next one will be twice as fun...with a cameo appearance of a certain character.

Jazhira: The only time I've ever beaten a Rubiks cube was when I peeled the stickers off and put them in the right place...Do you know they actually sell the stickers? XD Well so far nothing real bad has happened, oh but the worst of it is yet to come...:wicked grin:

albino-yaoi: I'm learning to slowly ahte yami beats hikari fics. I mean Bakura's a psycho, yes, but give the guy a break! And as you may have noticed...I don't do cliche, well I try not to. I like to be different. Different gets attention.

Meowzy-chan: Heh, yes as you see throwing Seto and Jounouchi was crucial for maximum crazyness. And I can so picture Baku-chan flicking his hair like that...the lovable friutcake...LOL Just kidding...

YamiMisao: Hopefully this chapter was some what as good as the last. with any luck. Hopefully I'll get my act together and start updating more often...

Skara: eekSquay! More Ego puffing! Yay:munches cookie: What kind of Bakura would he be if he wasn't totally concieted? lol Gotta love him for it though...Cause it's not like he's lying XD

Fear of Falling: Seto is too attached to that briefcase...and Marik, well Marik likes to play with sharp objects anyways...so It seemed right.

Yoko no Tenchii: Heck yeah, they claim that I MAKE them do it...but they love giving out hugs!

Metallix Tears: Eek! I'm such a bad influence! I should put a warning that says: Don't do ANYTHING that Bakura/or I, do! There I said it! Throwing the marshmellow was fun...But eating the cottonballs...not so fun...

Ryua Malfoy: It's a toss up between Bakura being the center of the universe of Seto...They're both attention getters. And I, being bisexual, am greatly offended actually when people refur to things as gay...Or call some one fag or faggot...Because it's impolite to call someone a Cigarette or a bundle of sticks...And there is no way Tuxedo guy can be gay! He's...too..straight...

Chrysler: Yeah, I'm trying to keep it a little behind on AFF so I can update a bunch of chapters at a time. Like I said before, Humor is my strong point, the only other one that somewhat matches it, is angst. Read 'Help Me' if you want major angst(It's not Yuugioh though).

Leo: I worship you all like gods! I'm I'm so happy to say that by next chapter I will have over 100 reviews! You guy couldn't have made me happier! Okay guys...You know what to do.  
Bakura and Akefia:double hugs for everyone:


	11. The Date Part Three

_Leo_: Okay first off, GOMEN GOMEN! for lateness! I lost the majority of this chapter...So I had to retype, plus I've been feeling a little ill. So, I feel to horrible! This should not have taken so long to write up! And THANK YOU! We've breached over 100 reviews!  
_Bakura and Akefia_: Yay!  
_Leo_: On another topic, I have recieved my first flame for this fic! SOOOO...I have to give a little note for that person: 

Mariko, hun, if you didn't like, why'd you read all of it? Tch, common sense is rare these days neh? Anyways, thank you! I'm so glad you think it sucks! That makes me feel so good knowing I type better than you, which I obviously do, looking at your review and all...Either way, JUST FOR YOU, this chapter will contain double the internal monolouging and Bakura talking to himself! Your mistake was telling me to 'fix that'. You see, I'm not a really good listener, and I like to do the opposite when some one tell me what to do. So this is just for you X3 Yep that's right Leo loves you. He'd love you more if you'd learn to spell, and keep your flames to yourself, but hey, we can't all have what we want XD

Now here's the chapter for my much loved reviewers!

**Two of The Same Kind Chapter 10**

At first I was greatful, they were actually paying attention to their food, more than each other. But That didn't stop Seto from glaring at me and Marik from sending pretty hateful looks to Jou. Sure that wasn't the best way to get their attention, but hell it worked!

Not that I was paticularly concerned...It wasn't like Marik was anything more to me than and insane suitor, with an endless hope of winning me over. We'd never been together as a couple, that just wasn't realistic, but I do believe I've mentioned that before, yes? I thought as much. I like to repeat myself, as It seems. Oh well you listen, so who am I to bitch myself out? There I go repeating myself again. This is getting tiresome...Grr.

Anyways, I stabbed at my steak, thouroughly annoyed by the silence. If there's one thing that makes me go mental, it's silence...Yes, I know I'm mental already, but that's not the point I was trying to make. And I mean, hell, you think I talk to myself now? Tch, you haven't seen anything! I used to have full out conversations with myself, like I was talking to multiple people! And actually con myself into believing it!

But we're not here to make fun of me, now are we? I didn't think so...I'd hate to have to chop you into pieces and cook you on my George Forman...I love that damn grill. Ywa I actually know how to use it! I stole it for a reason you know! Ryou said that I should get a job so I don't have to steal things. I told Ryou that I had a sharp object on my person. Ryou dropped the subject and went back to cutting carrots. He remembers what I did the last time he annoyed me and I had an object of destruction. Oh yes, he suffered much indeed. I shred those lacy girly curtains into nice little strips. Did you think I actually hurt him? I'm not a complete monster! Just mostly.

But back to what I was saying before I so rudely interupted myself. I was about ready to do SOMETHING to get some attention in order to aleviate that anxious feeling that was making me figit. By figit, I mean stab at half cooked meat on a plate relentlessly. I have anger management issues...No, counseling doesn't help. Ask my last counsellor...He quit his profession and now works at a car wash, washing people's vehicles for six bucks an hour...I think I scared him a bit...Now every time he sees the color white, he goes into violent compulsions, shit his pants and forgets who he is for three days...I just have that effect on people.

It was Marik who noticed my growing agitation...Good thing too, I was about ready to jump on the table and throw things at people...Or I could have stripped...I'm sure the women, and a few men even, would have enjoyed that. Hell, I bet you're drooling just from the though. You perverts.

"Bakura? You okay?" He asked.

"Yes, just peachy...It's too quiet." I sighed to emphasize my point.

"Well, let's talk about something," Jou suggested, taking a bite out of his fish. Since when do dogs eat fish? Neh, I don't like fish...Not since that time I ate it raw...And by raw I mean from lake straight to mouth. It didn't taste so good...So now I will NOT eat fish...And you can't make me.

"Like what?" I asked, anything to occupy my wandering mind would have been good.

"Hmm, I dunno...um...SOMETHING!" Jou finally spoke, clearly racking his brain for a subject matter.

"So..did you rob any banks recently thief?" Leave it to Seto, the master conversationalist. Talking like that was something I do on a regular basis! LIke it was a hobby! I only did that twice! TWICE! That doesn't quality it for hobby status! For times makes it hobby status...I'm only half way there! And hell, I didn't get caught either! So there!"

"Ha Ha Ha, very funny moneybags." Just as I was content with being called thief, he was okay with my little nickname for him, moneybags. We had somewhat of a pact, and despite the outward appearance of intolerance, we were actually...that 'f' word. You know? The F.R.I.E.N.D.S. word? I can't say it outloud, because then a number of things may happen. One, that horrid Barney song will begin to play, two, Anzu will pop out of nowhere and start preaching her friendship crap, or three, I may just spontaneously combust. Non of which are happening I wish to take place. Unless you invert the song and Anzu spontaneously combusted...That would be a moment worth video taping for future viewing pleasure...Don't you agree?

Well, I do. Either way...

"Well you wanted to talk, so talk we shall." Seto grinned, leaning back.

"I said It was too quiet...And why would you want to talk to me, you're still mad." I repleied, looking at him with suspiscion.

"Don't go assuming."

"No, I'm not assuming, I KNOW YOU! You're fuming. Geeze, what's the big deal? I just kissed Jou! God, it's not like I threw him down on the table and-" I was stopped as Marik's hand clamped over my mouth. I noticed why he'd done that...An elderly couple, sitting across from us, was giving me some pretty funny looks...Tch...Old people...

Jou was blushing furiously at the idea. Seto, well if looks could kill...Then I'd be skewered by the glare he was all but thrashing me with. Marik, well Marik had a very slight blush...I knew why...He's got quite the imagination when you give him an idea to play with...He'd already finished my sentence in his head. That makes me laugh sometimes.

"Hey, I didn't say I was going to! Unless, Jou gets bored with you...then you know..." I smirked directing it at Seto and then to the blushing Jou, giving him a wink to go with it. Oh yes, I'm such a flirt.

"Bakura, he's going to stab you with his fork if you keep pushing him." Jou giggled while whispering to me.

"Bakura..." Seto spoke through his grinding teeth.

"Relax, I'm not out to steal Jou away from you." I grinned wickedly to myself. Ah, now that was MUCH better.

"Speaking of which, are you and Marik on a date?" Jou cocked his head slightly looking at the two of us.

That was the reminder of why I was even there. Oh hell...date...I never really liked that word much. And really I think it sounds better on a fruit. Dates are yummy too...Trail mix rocks the world! Eek...random outburst...My bad. Damn that sounds so bad coming from me...I don't pull off the modern day phrases very well...I feel like really old...Oh but Bakura, you are!...Thank you, inner me, you make me feel sooo much better...Back to things that don't involve talking about the fact that I'm older than dirt...Well, at least I don't look it...Okay okay! Dropping subject now!

"If a date is what you want to call it." I sighed, cutting my steak into pieces although I was not really all that hungry.

"Oh, are we ruining it?" Jou asked. I could tell he felt a little bad. He's one of those heart of gold persons...who enjoys kicking people butts. What a combination. 10 points to you Jou.

"No, not really." Marik answered. I was shocked. But then Marik probably figured his chances were small. It wasn't that I didn't like Marik, I mean I do, hell I've had his tongue down my throat before, you modern people call that kissing, yes? But Marik isn't like...I don't know...I can't picture it, you know? You can't like date your friends...It makes everything all complicated like. Now if he were to say friends with benefits...

Guh! I'm voiding that last paragraph!... What do you mean I can't void it? Augh! That sucks...Fine...Meanies...You're lucky my backspace key is broken...No, it wasn't my fault if that's what you were thinking...Malik needed that button for some reason or another, so he plucked it off my keyboard...He doesn't have a computer anymore because Marik sent it to the shadow realm...He kept saying something about it being possessed...So yeah...You're lucky! If I say SHIT I can't erase it! Guh! Oh wait...There's a delete key...Anyways, moving on!

"Yeah, it was a promise. If he help me I'd go out with him." I added.

"I see."

I leaned against the table to say something, but I stopped when I saw a shadow fall over me. I looked up to see the waiter guy, standing there.

"Sir, would you be a Mr. Bakura?" He asked. I looked at him quizically.

"Um, yeah, why?" I answered.

"A Ryou Bakura is on the line for you, he says it's urgent."

"Um...Okay, I'll be back guys." I turned to the others, while slipping out of the booth to follow the waiter man. "Oh and Jou, could you take possession of all the sharp objects while I'm away?" Jou chuckled and nodded.

I followed the waiter guy to a phone, and picked up the receiver knowing it wouldn't be good.

"Yes, hikari?" I spoke.

"Finally! I called nine different places looking for you! Um...we have a bit of a problem." He answered sounding somewhat relieved.

"And what would that be?"

"Um...Akefia snuck out."

...Insert awkward silence...

"WHAAAAAAATTTTTTT?" Oh, I'm sure EVERYONE heard me. After all, who wouldn't notice a white haired boy dressed in leather, shrieking like his dog just got hit by a car.

Well, that shattered the nice, tch yeah nice, evening we'd been having so far. Remind me to hit myself the next time I say things are going well...Because I should know that SOMETHING will go wrong...Call it bad Karma...

"Um, what do we do yami?" Ryou asked meekly, knowing that I was officially in a foul mood.

"I'll have to go look for him...Trust 'me' to get in trouble." I sighed. "I'll call you later, speaking of which why didn't you call on my cell phone?"

"You had it turned off!"

"Oh...Well, I'll fix that then. Start looking for him...Against better judgement, get the pharaohs to help. They're like animals, they should be able to track his scent."

"Yaaamiiii..."

"I'm kidding! Anyways, call me if you find him!"

"Same here."

Both of us hung up and I sighed, slumping my shoulders and walking back out to the others, mumbling a thank you to the waiter guy as I passed him.

"We have a problem." I said.

_Leo_: Heh, I bet you're thinking, why'd you leave it there! Well the good news is, after writing this chapter, I went straight to writing the next chapter. So you're looking at a shorter wait. Again I'm sorry. I had to type this twice...Damn computer...Well next chapter will be a treat for some of you. It all depends on what pairings you like Bakura in.  
_Bakura_: So um...What exactly are you going to do to me next chapter.  
_Leo_: Nya nya! I can't tell you. Oh and time for my reviewer worships!

**Happiness's Deceit**: What fire do I like? I like green fire! When it turns from blue to yello in that short time it's green! Me likes that!

**Lily of the Shadow**: I'm a disturbed individual. Yes I've eaten candle wax...Actually I've ingested somethings that should have been harmful...Or at least make me throw up...Like an entire tube of toothpaste...I'm a fool for dare. XD After quad I do believe they go straight to calling it an orgy XD

**Jazhira**: I have this all planned out! To where everyone will like it! X3 Except poor Bakura that is.

**dragonlady222**: Pig Latin was the greatest thing since the potato gun when I was in fifth grade! I loved it! Now they got this gibberish crap...Pig latin wannabes...

**Her Sweetness:** That would be interesting, what a fine foursome indeed! Of course I can't with this story. The pairing's set in stone.

**NubianQueen413**:giggles at the funny lady while munching on Bakura XD, no the Bakura shaped cookies silly:

**YamiMisao**: You better work on LT or I may have to do something drastic! And cry or something...I had to make Bakura kiss Jou...It was an order from the person in my head.

**Meowzy-chan**: I'd like some of those trade secrets too, actually...MOVING on!

**Sirithiliel**: Actually It's fun to type your name out :3 I'm weird I know...Bakura has issues, but that's why we all love him so!

**Yoko no Tenchii**: Yay! I'm glad you liked! I did something right! Whoo hoo!

**Ryua Malfoy**: Well, I being gay myself, don't appreciate the word 'fag' and I think you meant 'faggot' in reference to the burning. A 'fag' is what northerners call cigarettes. It just seems hateful. Good to know that though. Yeah, the human race sucks. Bakura, for your sake stay 'dead'. Elude the horrors of mortal society.

**Lefthandedfreak**: Ooo! Me likes your name! I'm left handed too! Yay to us! And yes, Bakura does deserve to be basked.

**DojomistressAmbyChan:** Yes, I am a Bakura/Jounouchi fan! Actually I'm a Bakura/any guy fan! I love Bakura THAT much! There's a reason I call myself Bakura's stalker XD

**mariko**: Bite Me...Ha ha!

**Xionsuntamedwolf:** Ooo! Me likes you already! Yay for rantingness! Bwaha! I have that effect on people. Ranting is great! I do it 99.9999999999 percent of the time I'm talking! Which is about 99.9999998 percent of the time I'm awake. XD I'm such a nut case! Oh and your dad is scary! I'm gay, don't let him near me!

_Leo_: Well me luffs you all! Until next time! Bakura and Akefia:hugs the readers TWICE for their patience:


	12. Lost and Found

Leo: Mmm...Just finished eating...fruit shortcake thing...good...It's even better when my boyfriend spoon feeds it to me...God, I'm so spoiled.  
Bakura: He's insane...How does he tolerate you? Much less love you?  
Leo: Shut up! There's nothing wrong with me!  
Bakura: Yes there is! You crazy fan-gir...um boy!  
Leo: You meanie...Just for that I'm going to make you do something you don't want in this chapter!  
Bakura: What? No! 

Two of the Same Kind Chapter 11

Let's see, poison darts, flaming arrows, or sharpened knives...Being under fire by any, or all of the previously mentioned items would have been better to me, than knowing that my past, less than sane, self was out there...On the loose...With people...Other living humans...That's a frightening situation right there...

"Bakura, what's wrong?" Marik asked, clearly seeing my distress.

"Well, Akefia is on the loose...Apparently he sneaked away from Ryou..."

"Damn, guess we gotta go look for him, huh?" Marik asked.

"Yeah."

"Hey, we'll help you look." Jou offered.

"I wouldn't want to ruin your evening." I smiled.

"Nah, this evening started out bad. We'll help. After all, the more people searching the quicker it'll be over. And I can have a whole army of goons looking with a simple phone call." See, that's what I love about Seto...Though he's a jerk most of the time, he'll help you in an instant...If you're his friend that is.

"Okay, you've managed to convince me." I smirked as Marik slid out of the booth. Jou stood and Seto slid out after him.

I noticed Marik and Jou cast glances at Seto. He looked away with a simple huff. Something didn't seem right. I knew something was going on. Tch, there's always some kind of drama...Welcome to the life of Bakura! Also known as Bakura the greatest tomb thief EVER! Insert echoey sound here. That should be a new reality show!...Nevermind reality shows suck...Considering they know they're on camera...TV went to hell when they stopped playing music on MTV. I cried that day...Indeed. I just lied...But I would have! But Ryou was at Ballet practice that day...I just lied again. But I wouldn't be surprised if that last bit was true...My hikari can be quite secretive. And girly.

We left the building. It was dark. Around nine. If I remember correctly. Don't, like, shoot me if I lied...I mean...I lie. A lot...But only on unimportant things! Like I wouldn't be lying if I said made out with Marik's hikari...Oh hell...Now I need to slap a 'no Mariks allowed' sticker on this...If he found out...well...Poor Malik...

"Um...Bakura." I turned to be face to face, well actually face to neck, with Seto, who had this faint little blush? What the-! It took me a moment to realize what happened. My mind blanked out as I felt Seto's lips on mine. Oh hell...

He pulled back, face lobster red now. He moved a half closed fist over his mouth as he coughed slightly. "Well, you have to clean my office now Marik. And you, pup, owe me big time."

"Damn, I didn't think you'd do it Seto." Marik blinked.

"Like I said you owe me."

"Gah! Must you guys use me as a sorce for your childish betting!" I burst very flustered.

"I wasn't any part of this Bakura...He'd already decided to do it, when I said I didn't think he would." Jou tried to explain.

"Well, since it's an 'everyone kiss Bakura' night..." I trailed off, grabbing Marik by a blonde lock and pulling him, against me, lip to lip.

I pulled back smirking as Marik's face lit up with a nice little crimson color. It's quite a color on him indeed. It brings out the psycho in his eyes. Haha...Not really, but I couldn't bring myself to admit that his eyes are prettier than mine...

...DAMN IT! I just did! I'm going to go sulk now...No, Not really...I only sulk when I lose...or When I get caught doing something wrong...I hardly ever have to sulk for the second reason. I don't get caught...because I'm just that good.

"Okay now that we're done with that drama. Let's go look for my past self, before he gets in trouble." I said.

Jou and Seto nodded. But the look on Marik's face was different. He seemed to be looking at something.

"Marik?"

"Um...I think HE already found US." Marik pointed behind me.

I turned on my heel. Standing not ten feet away from me was Akefia. He had this angry, almost hurt look on his face. His touseled button up shirt was leaning awkwardly on his shoulder, a hint to me that he'd sprinted a pretty good distance. The pale jeans he was wearing had dirt stained to the knees, and there was a rip along the left pant leg, as if maybe he'd snagged it on a branch or a fence.

"A-Akefia." I managed to stutter in coptic. Only poor Jou didn't understand that language...

He had that look that I had when the pharaoh kissed him. It was then I realized that he'd seen me either be kissed Seto, or me kiss Marik, or worse, both. I stepped forward, keeping good distance between me and the other three, as well as my fuming other self.

"Um...what are you doing here!" I tried to sound mad that he hadn't listened, but I was a little worried about him going crazy. After all, if I could do that much to the pharaoh, I'd cringe to think of what he could do...Since he was stronger than me...

"What's it matter to you?" He growled approaching me. "You seem like you're having a great time! Why should I ruin it."

"You're being such an idiot!"

"I'm being an idiot! You're just mad that I let the pharaoh's modern self kiss me!"

"Shut up you bastard! I'm not mad! Why would I give a shit? I don't care about you!"

Everyone says things they don't mean. I'm a particularly advanced member of the foot in mouth club...So I do it more than I really should...That's what happens when I speak before thinking. And I damn myself everytime.

I wasn't expecting the back of his hand to connect to my face. It caught me off guard and knocked me to the floor. My eyes watered as the sting of his assualt, rampaged on my senses. My head buzzed and my eyes were knocked out of focus for a moment.

"HEY! That was uncalled for!" I heard Seto's voice, even if it was a little fuzzy.

"Shut up, damn priest."

"You want to start something?" I looked up to see Seto narrowing his eyes and leering down at Akefia.

I felt a pair of arms curl themselves around my waist and help me to my feet. I knew it was Marik. Since everyone else was within my sight.

"Look Akefia you're out numbered, so just forget it." Marik spoke sternly.

"If I kill someone it'll be YOU so shut up!"

It was safe to say that all reasonable thought had been quickly thrown out the window.

"The only reason I have torn you into shreds is because if I hurt you I could hurt Bakura, that's it, so if I were you I'd bite my tongue and shut the fuck up."

Akefia snorted. I have learned one thing about myself. I was a complete jackass, and also quite careless...I wouldn't doubt that Marik could have done what he'd said. Marik was strong, and also crazy...So I wouldn't put it past him.

"Marik, stop." I spoke shaking away the dizziness. "Akefia, this is enough. You've made your point."

"I haven't even begun to make my point." He growled.

"Stop it. I'm not kidding, if you pick a fight here you could get us in trouble, then how the hell am I going to explain you? Of me for that matter!"

The wheels in his head seemed to finally start turning as he slumped his shoulders and turned his head away still growling.

I was about to let out a sigh...But then I was the bright head lights of a car stop in front of us.

I saw a blur of white get out of the car and nearly fly over to me. Ryou, the white blur, patted me down, checking for injuries, obviously. After finding none to seriously, he latched himself on to me.

"Um...hikari? Don't mind if I ask but...what the hell?" I spoke with absolute casualty.

"I tried to call you when I got to Yugi's and the phone connected but you didn't answer then I heard a lot of screaming, and then a crash and the phone beeps, like it was disconnected!" the white haired hikari blubbered.

"I'm okay hikari, I must have hit a wrong button when I tried to turn it on in my pocket. Okay? I think I broke it when I fell though..."

"Looks like you found him on your own thief." The deeper annoying voice, of the person I want to kill in a violent way, spoke with a bored tone. Bored...Tch, give me a hammer and a pharoh and I'll show you bored.

"Shut up pharaoh. You're NOT a person I want to talk to right now." I growled at him.

I noticed Akefia take a step closer to me, as the pharaoh and his clone approached. "Yami, you leave Bakura alone." I heard Yugi's squeaky little voice.

"I will. This time. I suppose now that we've found you we should take you home."

"We'll take him home if you don't mind." I looked back to see Seto, with an eye twitching. He did NOT like Yami, at all. That's probably the big thing the two of us had in common.

"Fine then suit yourself." Yami shrugged walking back to the car Yugi was standing by, dragging his past self with him. Who knew Yugi could drive grandpa's car? Tch, I didn't...

"Ryou, you go with them, okay?" I said and Ryou nodded. He was probably curious why...Truthfully, I didn't want him near Akefia, Marik or Seto at the moment. I delatched myself from Ryou as he left with the pharaohs and grabbed Jou, pulling him to the other side of me, while still holding on to him. Poor Jou was so confused...He couldn't understand a thing...

"Just stay away from those three okay?" I whispered to him.

"Will do."

Seto called for his Limo driver. And we waited...Very painful moments...And I was just waiting for the worst to happen...There goes me an my pessimistic mind...

xxx

Leo: Well, I hope that was good enough. Not the best chapter yet. But not bad...I hope.  
Bakura: Guh...o.o;! I'm a kissing slut! What have you done to me!  
Leo: Your readers liked it, so don't bitch.

**Her Sweetness**: Mariko's an idiot, just ignore her XP LOL I hope you liked this chapter XP

**NubianQueen413:** ..:cries at the Anzuness:.. Go Akefia! o.o! Were you excepting Akefia to show up like that ? XD!

**Yoko no Tenchii**: LOL, Bakura's a little more sane than I. XD I'm completely delusional...But I'm fun XD XD!

**Lily of the Shadows**: ..:gigglesnort:.. You're funneh. Glad you like my work thou! Squee!

_Meowzy-chan_: If the pharaoh's backed Akefia into a corner he'd go like Mike Tyson on them! O.O! And bite thier ears off! XD

**Jazhira**: It's not too soon, but I updated sooner than last time! Yay me!

**Sirithiliel**: O.O! I can officially write your name with out looking! Yay for me! lol and it seems you were part of the way right, with the spying XD

**YamiMisao**: XD I'd love to see you do that to Mariko! You;'d have to make me an anhk too! I have four of them o.o; but another wouldn't hurt XD!

**Fear of Falling**: ..:let's Fear of falling hug reviewers:.. o.o; that betttah?

**Sakurasango**: Yep,I cater to my flamers every wishes XD Don't worry I love this fic too much not to continue it.

**Xionsuntamedwolf**: lol By the way, please don't use the Faggot word...I noticed you did in your first review...I don't like that word.

**ForestWalker**: LOL I love Bakura/Jou, so I had to add just a touch of it XP

**Ryua Malfoy**: I think Mariko was just being mean. And yeah Malik would be the type to take the backspace key o.o; the sexeh little freak that he is.

**BHS**: lol, if you noticed my grammar mistakes and quite numorous spellign mistakes then I've succeeded in what I set out to do. I've had people ask if I want a beta, but really, I don't need one, because this is SUPPOSED to be like that. This is written by Bakura.And as one writes for fun, and not for publication, there will be LOTS of mistakes! So his less than perfect grammar and mistakes, make him seem more human. since we all make mistakes XD That's the reason i don't spell check this fic.

_Leo_: Anyways I'm off!  
_Bakura and Akefia_: ..:hugs the reader:..


	13. Tension

**_Leo: Grr... My internet's being a complete idiot head. Hence the reason why I haven't updated anything. Well the upside is, I got a new computer! Yay me!_**

**Two of the Same Kind  
Chapter 12**

Well there is good news to be told. In the patient wait for Seto's limo to arrive, no one said anything or did amything that resulted in anyone being harmed...Not physically. Oh, plenty of insults flew back and forth, from 'scum sucking ass bag' copy right Marik, to 'you shit ass bastard face' copy right Akefia. Seto had a few too...However...Just saying them would make me feel dirty...Yeah, Seto's got a REALLY creative mind to insults...

Poor Jou and I were steadily backing away little by little...If it weren't for the fact that we couldn't leave them, I'm sure we'd have been running instead of just inching away...I must say though...Sometimes Jou is the cutest thing. Spoken like a true homo...Remind me to never use 'cute' in a sentence again...That degrades me from my wicked coolness...Yes, I'm wicked cool. Any arguments?

On that note, Ryou says I need to: (it's a hefty list) a. stop talking to myself, b. stop being so arrogant, c. quit finding petty excuses to throw random objects at pharaoh 'ass bag'(gotta give credit to Mariku for that one) and d. stop using Herbal Essense...Okay I SOMEWHAT understand the first three, and one day, after hell has an ice skating rink and an ice cream stand, I MIGHT consider obliging to his requests. But I'm NOT giving up my shampoo! It's the source of my power! Seriously, it has magical properties...!

yEAH i'M OF TOPIC AGAIN...dAMN! it! stupid caps! Malik still hasn't returned my backspace key...I really don't think I want it now...Knowing him...It's probably been corrupted...And if he puts it back it'll probably go on a letter murder spree and just randomly kill the other letters...I mean, can you just imagine that paragraph with out vowels? I don't need a homocidal backspace key, thank you very much.

Oh and update on Malik activity, for what ever reason he'd decided that my back space key isn't enough, and he's plucked out my arrow keys, my number key pad and my delete key...I can't turn my monitor off either...Because If I do, then my computer will self destruct...That one's courtesy of Marik by the way. But there's good news! And it doesn't involve car insurance! Ryou's getting a new computer, so I get his old one! Which is MUCH better than the one I have now, which is like only one step up from a 5 megabyte green screen with five inch floppys. Yeah my computer sucks...

See I know about computers. I stick my tongue out at you now!

Back to the actual topic. If you made it this far, then my radomness hasn't bothered you yet...Not that I care or nothing...Yes, I'm fully aware that I just used two negatives in that sentence...Don't patronize me.

Jou and I were standing...oh I'd say about 20 feet away from the other three. Though I probably should have been standing between them to keep them from ripping each other's throats out...But I'm not stupid. Besides I knew Seto and Marik wouldn't attack Akefia. After all, hurting him would be like hurting me.

But that's not to say Akefia wouldn't go psycho. I mean I wouldn't put anything past him/me...You could say we're known for our random acts of...what's a good word to use...Hmmm...random acts of psycho-ness? Yeah I suppose that works.

It was a good day for all when Seto's limo driver pulled up. Of course, at that moment I would have to leave the safety of Jou's company to try to pursuade Akefia to get into the vehicle.

"Okay Jou, If I don't come back in ten minutes, then assume the worse and call a mortician." I said as I slipped off toward Akefia. I heard a small chuckled leave the blonde as I stood in front of my other self. "Akefia?"

"What?"

"Okay, see this long black thing, I need you to get inside of it..."

"Isn't that like violating it?"

I snorted at the thought. By Ra I'd never looked at it like that. Heh, by getting inside of it, we were like raping a car...Bad Akefia, don't think like that!

"No, it's okay, they're made to transport us. It's like those horses. Remember? It's okay to ride inside of them. They're upgrades."

"So It's okay?" He asked looking around me to get a glimps of the Limo.

"Yes, it is...So will you cooperate?" I asked, feeling a little greatful that he seemed a little less angry.

"Fine, but if either of those two start with me then I'm going to rip their faces off, got it?"

"Yes Akefia I clearly heard you."

"Oh, by the way," He lowered his voice, "Why DID you kiss the priest?"

"Ah, jealous are you?" I smirked. HA! I knew the bastard was jealous too! And what! In your face! See how it feels! Now YOU know what it was like! And now you understand I why I went postal on that baka pharaoh! AND WHAT? ...Oh...I'm ranting again...Good thing I didn't say that out loud...

"NO! I'm not!" He blushed furiously, even with his tanned skin it was very obvious.

"Yes you are. But if it makes you feel better, I wouldn't kiss them on a regular basis...Just when I'm bored..."

"HEY!"

"Kidding, KIDDING!"

"Are you two coming? It's getting late." WE heard Seto and I pulled Akefia along with me.

"Yeah yeah. Come on 'Kifa, get in the 'expensive house on wheels, missing a bathroom'." I said pushing him towards him.

"What? And what did you call me?"

"Just get into the damn limo."

"Fine fine." He grumbled. He ducked and climbed in. I followed him and Marik followed behind.

Seto was the last in and when we all got settled. Everything went back to glares. At around this time. I grabbed Jou and the two of us sort of tucked our self away into a nice small corner of the limo and awaited for hell to break loose, and we prayed we'd survive the pending doom...

"Hey priest...I'm sorry okay."

"Shut the hell up you-...wait..what did you say?" Seto stopped upon realizing what Akefia said.

"You heard me, and the same goes for you too tombkeeper."

Both Seto and Marik kin of stood and stared blankly at Akefia who was rubbing his finger around the inside of his ear, clearly embarassed. This was actually quite funny. And Jou and I found ourselves giggling...God we are so gay...But at least we have good fashion senses! Oh yeah! .insert hair flip.

Well upon Akefia's apology, which makes me think that hell HAS adopted a snow cone maker at least, everything went better...That was sucky sentence structure...I know...But give me a break here, what to I look like J.K.Rowling? So what if I can't write! I'm sexy! And what!

Well, we apprived at the house of the Bakuras. Yay us...Our house is trashed...Thanks to your truely. Anyways, we unloaded and there, standing with his hand on his hips looking ALL sorts of annoying is the great pharaoh 'bastard face'. Oh joy.

You know there has to be a limit on how many time I have to see him a day...Try...NEVER. Yes, that works for me.

"So, it appears you HAVEN'T ripped each other apart...Such a shame." He said being all bastard-like.

"No, we were all saving it for you. And really what's wrong? Are your pants to tight or something? I don't care either way, but shut up or I'll turn your face into strips and weave a rug out of it." Akefia said ever so elegantly.

Nice. Actually very nice Akefia. Seto even nidded in approvement. Oh holy hell, oxymoron, even Marik liked that one!

Pharaoh only snorted a reply...That's when the OTHER one walked up.

I'm telling you overdose on pharaoh exposure and be damaging to your health...

xxx

**_Leo: Okay, sorry for lateness of updateness...I really ment to get this up sooner. Must thank must thank must thank. Hope you liked...I hope I'mnot losing my touch DX_**


	14. More Bashing of the Pharaoh

**_Leo: I've had some question about thief 'Kura's name, Akefia. It's a translation that I've found that many fanfic writers/rpers use to identify the difference between the two when they're in a fic/rp together. Some people use Akifa, Akiefa, and even plain Kifa, but I chose Akefia because It's the easiest for me to type...Touzouku, and Doroubo (or how ever the two are spelled) are NOT his name. They are Titles, both basically mean 'thief king' or 'king of thieves' They are also japanese words...so that wouldn't make them adaquate translations to ancient Egyptian names. I worship Bakura, he is my god. I make sure to know these important facts O.o that and I have no life. Amen._**

**_Also, the mistakes I make in this story (though most are unintentional) some of them are actually done on purpose. If I forget how to spell a word..I spell it wrong on purpose, because Bakura's not going to be a English major...so I'm making it more realistic...So it IS on purpose! Otherwise I would have spell checked._**

**Two of the Same Kind  
Chapter 13**

Okay, so pharaoh Jack of all asses was waiting as we unloaded. Why I'm not sure. After all, all he really needed to do was drop my hikari off. He didn't need to stick around and make sure we were 'okay'. Good god...He hates all of us anyways...Except maybe Jou. And perhaps Akefia...Okay so he hates MOST of us.

"What the hell do you want Pharaoh?" I growled as I walked up to the door of my 'home'.

"I was talking to Ryou, if you don't mind thief." He replied snidely.

"Well I do, so get the hell off our property before I recycle your face and use it as a a drink coaster." I folded my arms.

"Hey!" the tension broke as we turned to see Malik rolling up on his motorcycle.

"Hikari?" Marik asked as if it wasn't obvious.

"Marik? Why are you here if your motorcycle is at the resteraunt?...I rode by there looking for you because Ryou called me all freaked out...Your bike was there but you weren't..."

"OH SHIT!" Marik flipped, just realizing that he'd run off with out his precious bike.

Malik sighed and chuckled to himself. I guess he thought it was funny. Hell I kinda did too. I mean we all know Marik's not the brightest crayon in the box. And if he was he'd be orange, because...Well I don't really know why...Orange is just a cool color okay? Don't argue.

Oh yeah, I finally got my new computer. And since I didn't need the old one I gave to to Malik and Marik. I found out why Malik needed the keys. Apparently he's been working on a project with leggos and he ran out of pieces. You know it's hard to find the original leggos anymore...So now he has an entire keyboard to use.

And Marik was more than happy to take the monitor, which he promptly took out into my back yard, with Malik there too, and pressed the button...Yeah...So those two are suffering from burns now. That idiot wanted to see if he'd rigged it right...It's a damn good thing I don't turn my monitor off...Or press the button at all...

"Come on Marik, I'll give you a ride back to the resteraunt so you can pick up your bike." Malik said scooting up.

"Okay, hey I'll catch ya later Bakura. Oh and Kaiba don't forget to get the dead animal out of your ass." He waved good bye hopping on the bike with his hikari.

Seto simple lifted a hand and flipped him off. I chuckled and waved all uninterested-like. That was a pretty funny thing for him to say to Seto, just don't tell him I said that...Seto wouldn't be happy with me.

"Bye Malik! Don't forget to call me!" Ryou waved. Malik gave him a thumbs up and the two sped off.

"Well at least one idiot's gone." Yami sighed.

"What do you mean pharaoh, you're still here." Akefia answered quickly. He's got a sharp tongue and quick wit, go Akefia! You make me look cool!

The pharaoh had no reply to that. Not that it would have been a good one if he had...I mean this IS Yami we're talking about. He's an even darker color than Marik as far a crayons go...He's like...darker than black...have they invented a color like that yet? I'm still waiting...5000 years and black is still the darkest thing...You'd think with all this human smartness, with science and such, that they'd have made something darker...I'm so disappointed...

"Well, I think it's time for us to go, right pup?" Seto stated while lazily wrapping an arm around Jou's waist. I knew why he did that. He was out to piss of Yami, who used to have a thing for Jou...Ew...Poor Jou. Kaiba's a much better choice...I'm so proud of you for not picking Yami...At least Kaiba's rich...and good to look at...I'm also slightly disturbed by the fact that I'm talking to you like you're going to respond or that you're even reading this...I'm sorry Jou, I believe I've finally lost it...Okay, so maybe I've lost it a long time ago...same difference.

"Yeah, I guess so." Jou looked back at the tall brunette.

"See ya later Bakura, you too Ryou." He glanced at Akefia and nodded slightly. "And I suppose you as well, Akefia." He reverted to the native language. I guess he was more apt to take sides with Akefia than Yami...Who wouldn't?

"Yeah yeah," Akefia brushed him off and turned away from him.

"Bye Jou, you need to remember to call me! Oh and Seto, you're a good kisser! I bet you make Jou VERY happy!" Seto changed colors with enough speed to put Marik's street racing to shame. Although Marik's racing doesn't really count since he's usually picking on the kid down the street...Yeah, the little six year old in the barbie jeep.

"Okay! Later Kura! Ryou!" Jou giggled while waving as he directed Seto back to the limo.

"Well, now the only one to get rid of is you Pharaoh." I said stretching as I turned back to him. "Oh Yugi, you can stay if you want." I added noticing he'd walked up.

"Nah, we'd better get going anyways...Um, we'll see you tommorow?"

"Most likely...And most likely everyday to come until I finally DO die for real...You know that bastard-ahem-yami of yours doesn't trust me one bit, so he'll be up my ass for eternity." I added nonchalantly. "Hopefully he'll refrain from jamming me up against a wall this time." I spat as I headed in the direction of the front door. Akefia followed me, sticking his tongue out at the pharaoh on the way, even though he couldn't understand what I was saying. I guess he could tell by the tone of my voice. I did sound pretty nasty...Just about every time I spoke to the bastard.

Yami gave me a "eat shit and die you stupid thief" look. I could care less, go choke on a carrot! That's right, you heard me a carrot! A pathetic death for a pathetic person! Or I could be really mean and say a potatoe! Spelled with an E! That's right! Fear the potatoe! Sorry, I'm being random again...

"Better watch it thief." Was all he had to say to me.

"Or what? I have friends in high places you know! I'm sure Seto wouldn't mind knocking all your teeth out, drilling holes in them, painting them and using them as christmas tree decorations! Or better! Marik was looking for some new thing/animal to test his new microwave out with. I mean sure he couldn't fit you in there, but he always was good with knives."

"Yami, please stop." Ryou pleaded giving me the big doe eyes. The ones that make me want to hit myself to make the fuzzy feeling go away. It's even worse with Yugi...I'm so lucky I'm not his yami...He'd own me. It's not like he doesn't 'convince' me to do things already...Like refrain from hurting his yami. Who, in all actuality, could probably knock me sideways. Damn him and his bigger-ness...

"Fine, come on Kifa." I growled and grabbed my other self, pulling Ryou along as well. After I pushed Ryou and Akefia into the house I slammed the door shut.

After a moment or two I realized that I forgot one very important thing. I opened the door again and peeked my head out. "Bye Yugi talk to you later." I slammed the door again.

I was ready to walk away when, again I realized I forgot to do something very very important. So, I opened the door, peeked my head out and looked at the Pharaoh. "By the way, I hate you, I hope you die (again) and have a horrible after life." I then slammed the door for the final time.

"Was that necessary yami?" Ryou asked with that "why must you be like that, yami" look.

"Yes, It was absolutely one hundred percent of absolute necessity."

"That made no sense yami...You reall should look into upgrading your grammar." He kindly criticized.

"I know...And point that out again and your comforter will be pink by morning."

"I'm sorry yami!" Ryou's eyes went wide.

"Good, now be a good hikari and go do something and leave me alone with Akefia please."

"Okay!" Ryou hopped out of the room. Hopped...Geeze it must be a Bakura trait to hop...We're freaks I tell you...Even the innocent one.

After I was sure he'd left I turned to Akefia.

"You know, you couldn't have gotten in a lot of trouble. Or you could have gotten lost, or hurt! What WERE you thinking!" I snapped quickly.

"So sue me if I wanted to know what you were doing!" He barked back.

So we were both officially snarling at one another.

"WHY? It's not like I'm that much of a slut!"

"'THAT MUCH?'"

"Okay! I'm not like that! Especially not with Marik!" I defended myself.

"Then why'd you kiss him! AND the priest?"

"I had no control over Seto! He just did it! I only kissed Marik to make things even! Geeze It's not like I'm going to elope with him! And what should you care! You've only been here for two days at MOST!"

"That doesn't mean shit!"

I don't know what made me do it, or why. (I mean hell he's my past self. Generally people wouldn't look at their own past self and think like that. But I'm a completely different person now then a was.) But I all but launched myself at him. He didn't question or fight back, as a slammed my lips against his. He joined me.

It was that unfortunate moment, that both Ryou walked back in and the front door opened with a concerned looking Yugi walking in, followed by Pharaoh asshole.

Oh...itShay...

**xxx**

_Leo: Okay, so how was that chapter? I hope it wasn't bad o.o_

**Group Project Idea!**

**Okay, I have an idea that worked last time so I'm going to try it with this fandom. I want to start a Yuugioh Journal. Those who've read my FMA journal know what that's all about. Basically different authors will pick a single character each and write a journal 'entry' for them, much like a large RP. The entries are usually not long. A page or less. And they don't have to be serious. It'll be under the Humor genre. ALL characters are open, except Bakura and Pegasus, who are both already taken. If you're interested, leave a review telling me and I'll email you with more info. You don't need a ff . net account to be in on this either! Oh and if you pick Tea/Anzu, you'd better refrain from friendship speeches unless they're to make fun of her o.o**

_Thank you my reviewers! You're all awesome!_


	15. More Random Bakuraness!

_Leo: I have come to the conclusion! That I'm going to make a MalikxRyouxYugi subpairing! Can you guess who I'm going to pair Yami with? Can ya, can ya? Hint: It's NOT Atemu! I've already got plans for Atemu,-insert wicked smirk-. Leo: Mrah! Yesh I hath updated again! Actually I went on a rabid update spree today...Like four stories I wrote chapters for TODAY AND updated! Be PROUD OF ME! I got off my lazeh ass XD! Well, actually I didn't get off it, but I at least put my keyboard to good use! Yesh, my keyboard, I was going to say hands, but that would have sounded wrong..._

**Two of the same  
Kind Chapter 14**

Okay, so yes it was bad timing that all three of them happened to walk into the room around the same time myself and me started to ravage each other. Makes sense right? Of course it does...That's my life for you...I'll go back to blaming everything on the pharaoh...Yes that makes me feel better.

"Yami what was all that yell...ing." Ryou attempted to ask.

"UH...yeah what he said..." Yugi mumbled.

I pulled away from Akefia and glanced at all three of our viewers. Yami looked ready to deck me. And it wasn't for the fact that he had no real reason, and it would make him look like an ass for doing so, I'm sure he would have simply floored me. Remind me not to be in a room alone with Yami...He's mean, he might hurt me.

"What?" Akefia barked at Yami. "You got a problem? And if you touch him I'll break all of your fingers off and simultaneaously shove each and every one of them up your ass!" Akefia growled clearly seeing the look on Yami's face.

It was that moment I was greatful for language barriers. I mean hell, that was good, but my hikari might have flipped a heart valve if he knew my other self talks just as bad as I do...I mean, Ryou's probably trying his level best to deny that he's got a clone of his psychotic yami, to add to the real thing...Poor kid...He has it so tough...

Speaking of which, the other day I told hikari that I wanted to change my name to Bruce. I was just joking right, and he passed out! I was like, what the hell? Hikari? Are you alive? I was nudging you with my foot! NOT KICKIN YOU! Silly hikari!

I only got that idea because I was watching Batman...God...Batman is so hot...I mean, he's got HUGE muscles, he looks GOOD in spandex, fights like a god, is richer than...than Kaiba! If I could be Robin...I'd sooo do it, if it means checking Batman out! I mean I can pass off red and green spandex. Superman...You don't stand a chance...give up or I'll get out my Kryptonite. Yes, I have some on my keychain! Doesn't everyone?

You know me and Marik sat through a 72 hour Batman marathon on TV land? Okay yes, that's beside the point! Back to the REAL topic.

"Uh..." I mumbled tapping my fingers together.

"What the hell are you starting at pharaoh!" Akefia growled. "I take it you're not taking my threat seriously."

"Akefia chill out! I'm sure we can explain this..." I placed a hand on his shoulder, while rubbing my temples as I realized I had this like killer head ache.

"What's going on yami?" Ryou asked in a cute...and Ryou-like way...

"Yeah, we can't understand what Akefia's saying." Yugi added.

"That's probably for the best Yugi...Um...I don't have a clue what's going on as of yet. I'm actually wondering whether your yami is going to attack me or not..."

"I'm still debating that," Yami answered with a slight growl. This made Akefia angry.

"Bastard Pharaoh!" He spoke...In japanese. That got EVERYONE'S attemntion.

"Did you just speak in japanese?" I asked speaking to him in coptic, just so that I was sure he'd understand my question.

"Well I was listening to you and it seems that bastard pharaoh translates over in those words...so I figured I get the fucking idiot's attention by speaking a language I know he still remembers."

"How thoughtful of you." Yami mumbled.

"By the way, Yami, where'd Atemu go?" I leaned against the door frame and asked with a smirk.

"Oh shit!" He bolted out the door and I couldn't help but snicker to myself.

"Yami was that necessary?" Ryou asked folding his arms.

"It most likely was Ryou, so let him be." I was shocked all to hell when I realized that it was Yugi who said that.

"Yugi, you just made it on my favorite people list."

There's not many people on my favorite peoples list. Kaiba and Jou are there, Malik's there three days out of the week and Marik's there only on Tuesdays. Other than that...There's not many people. Except that guy at the bookstore who saved me.

Okay since you so kindly asked I'll tell you. Well you see I was in the book store looking for some book hikari wanted when he was sick. So naturally I was going to get him something more...grotesque. Well this girl, kept passing by me and giving me these LOOKS! I kept trying to get away and she FOLLOWED me! So I looked around frantically for something to discourage her while thinking 'must read gay porn, must read gay porn!' I mean that'd do it wouldn't it?

Well I tried reading Cosmopolitan while acting incredibly girly, that didn't make her leave. Though I learned this really interesting sex trick...Okay Okay, back to my story. Well this bookstore guy noticed my 'problem' and calmly walked up to me, with this girl/thing with big boobs standing right there, and he laid a lip on me, I mean we're talking tongue in mouth type of thing. She scurried away VERY quickly. And it's not like the book store guy was bad to look at. Actually he was hot. So I had NO complaints.

And that's how he made it on the list.

"Okay, so now that the linger threat to your health has been removed, what's going on?"

"Um...well, some where along the line of beating the hell out of the past pharaoh, getting jacked up against the wall by the other one, being hit by my jealous past self, and ending up with his tongue in my mouth...I think I've come to find myself falling for myself..." Oh...my poor head hurts...

They gave me these really strange looks. What the hell? I'm actually honest for once and I get looked at like I'm wearing Ricard Simmons' pants! What the hell?

"Wait, Yami jacked you up against the wall?" Yugi asked as the words sunk in.

"More or less..."

"WHY!"

"Because I beat the hell out of Atemu...So he got pissed off, slammed me up against the wall and threatened my semimortal existance and said if I tried that again he's add me to his collection of souls...Or somethign like that...I don't usually listen to all that he says...I have a short attention span..."

"Sometimes you do yami." Ryou rolled his eyes.

"What are you talking about RYOU?"

"Well your attention span didn't seem too short when you sat in front of Malik taunting him for nine hours. Oh lets not forget the fact that you had him tyed up hanging upside down from a tree branch with nothing but women's undergarmets on..."

"You did that!" Yugi looked at Bakura wide eyed.

"Yeah...I had to take him down when he lost consciousness though..."

"That's so disturbingly amusing..."

"Marik thought so too, he took pictures. I've got the originals. I'll show you one day."

"And here I thought Yugi was the normal one," Ryou sighed.

Poor Ryou should know that our 'friends' are NOT normal...EVER! Oh yeah I learned how to make cute smiley things with letters:D happy. D: sad. :3 cute. X3 mischevious. Aren't they so cute? Okay yeah I swear I'm done! For now anyways :3

"Well, I think I'm going to go find Yami, and get back home. Grandpa's probably worried that we haven't come back yet...You know, he's probably thinking I wrecked his car. So I'll talk to you guys later!" Yugi waved and left the room.

"Yami?"

"Yeah hikari?"

Why did you tell me Yami did that top you?"

"Is, I forgot, an acceptable answer?"

"No."

I sighed. "Well to be honest hikari, I'd rather not publically display the fact that Yam-er-bastard ass can kick the shit out of me..."

"Oh..."

I felt a pawing on my arm and urned to see Akefia giving me this rather pitiful look.

"What?"

"I'm hungry..."

"Okay, I suppose I can feed you..."

"What's wrong yami?" Ryou asked, being his overly concerned self as usual. I'm telling you I could be carving flower patterns into his back with a razor knife and he'd ask me if I needed anything. NOt that I'd do that or anything...That'd be Ryou-abuse...And I've already stated I don't-no CAN'T do that...

"He's hungry..I suppose he would be...He hasn't eaten since earlier today..."

"Oh, you hungry too?"

"Actually yeah...I am...All I did was stab my food at the resteraunt..."

"Ah, I take it that date wasn't very great. Well...Seto and jOu showed up and ended up sharing a table with us..." I told him as he closed the front door and walked into the kitchen, me pulling Akefia along.

"Anything interesting at all happen?"

"Oh yeah, I made out with Jou, Seto AND Marik all in the span of thirty minutes, if that counts."

"YOU WHAT!"

"You heard me." I smirked wickedly.

"Geeze yami...Don't be surprised if you catch Mononucleosis."

"Monowhatawha?"

"The kissing disease."

"Excuse me for a minute..."

"Where are you going?"

"To wash my mouth out! Wacth Akefia for a moment please!" I switched to Coptic. "Akefia stay there for a minute I'll be back."

"What's a 'minute'!"

"Just stay there!"

A turned to head out of the room.

"By the way yami!" I turned back around.

"You said you have the pictures of Malik...Can I see them?" Ryou blushed. Oh I knew Ryou had a little perverted side. I'm close to corupting him, oh yes I am.

"OH sure you can! I'll be sure to invite Yugi over so you can view them together!" I snickered as I ran to the bathroom escaping my hikari's flustered shouts of 'YAMIII! I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT'!

Heh, Hikari's so funny sometimes...

xxx

_Leo: Updateness! Mrah! I have officially started the Yuugioh Journal! And I have eight people! Mreee! So to those who are participating, you all rock :3 (cute. XDXD)! If you're curious to see who we have, check out my profile, I've posted links to the people that I have links for! We're already to Malik's turn so it's moving along!_


	16. Slight flirtation maybe?

_Leo: I is back again :3 with yet another update for yew! I thought I'd upload one before the hurricane comes along, you know just in case my power goes out or my computer fries...(again). I'm getting so sick of these damn hurricanes! getting THREE last year was enough excitement for me. Though it was amusing to watch my shed fly into my neighbors car..._

_But aside from that I'd like to give a little shout out to my hikari :3 Your yami luffs you hikari! even if he's strange sometimes and likes to talk in 3rd person XD!_

_Oh and some one one figured out who I'm pairing Yami with XD If you think about it it was pretty easy to figure out...I'm pairing him with Marik! Obviously not yet though XDXD_

**Two of the Same Kind  
Chapter 15**

Hikari is such a good cook. Yes I thought I'd start off with that. I'm telling you. He's great! He's such a girl, but it seems to pay off! I can't even cook cereal with out burning it...Don't ask me how I managed that. I'm not telling you, it's bad enough I feel stupid enough for lighting the kitchen on fire that one time...Don't tell Ryou about that...He's anal with his kitchen...

I think it'd be more worth it to eat at the house than at a resteraunt. At least Ryou knows I like my steaks very rare. Unlike those bastard cooks who think it's 'unhealthy'. Tch, I don't give a shit if it's unhealthy...I'm already fucking dead! What more could possibly happen to me? I mean really! But that's not the point. The point is I like Ryou's cooking a lot!

Apparently so did Akefia.

"Kura, what is this. It's really good!" He asked pawing at me with one hand. I was slightly taken back by his use of Kura again...I don't know it seems so weird when people call me that...People other than Ryou, Seto and Jou, and the Ishtars. Now if the pharaoh ever called me that, he'd be dead. No, I wouldn't kill him myself...He'd probably banish me to the shadow realm...But I'd hire Marik. He's been waiting for an opportunity to use his expert stalking skills. You know other than on me...

"It's fish."

"This is fish!"

"Well yours is...I don't eat fish...But yours is a tuna steak, I figured you'd like it...especially if you didn't know what it was..."

"Wow...I just figured all fish tasted like that 'one'..."

"Oh the one straight from the lake? Yeah that was nasty..." I added taking a bite out of my steak. REAL steak baby. The GOOD shit!

"Does he like it yami?" Ryou asked.

"Yeah, he seems to...But then again, you could cook shit and make it taste good."

"YAMI!"

"Sorry, but it's true. my girly little hikari! By the way, when are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Ryou questioned, giving Bakura the 'what? I'm just an innocent little hikari' look.

"That you've got a crush on Malik...And Yugi..."

"WHAT?" Ryou blushed furiously. "How'd you know that? Did you read my journal?"

"You have a journal? Where?"

"YAMI!"

"I'm just kidding hikari! And it's very obvious you have a crush for BOTH of them I mean come on...The way you look at Yugi is like...Yeah...I'd imagine that you undress him in your mind a LOT. And Malik..Well Malik's just plain sexy, who wouldn't have a raging crush on him! Besides me you know...And come on! It's SOOO clear that the feelings are returned. I mean the thing with the pictures was proof enough for me...Not to mention Yugi stares at you everytime you look away..."

"Who would have thought that MY yami of ALL people would be...observant..."

"Oh that's just mean hikari! Don't make me call up Malik and Yugi and tell them!"

"You would too, wouldn't you! You dirty bastard!" I was slightly taken back by Ryou's outburst. Though I found it amusing...I knew Ryou had a LITTLE bad ass in him...I mean come on...He's MY hikari after all!

"Yes, yes I would. You know that hikari...You should really talk to those two though..."

"I will one day..." Ryou looked from me to Akefia and noticed his yawn. It wasn't long before I followed with a yawn of my own.

"You two should really consider sleep...It's been a long day..."

"Oh my Ra, tell me about it...I'm tired..." I stood up and took my and Akefia's plates to the sink. "I'll do the dishes in the morning...Until then let the bacteria and germs breed all over them. I'm sure they do anyways..." I mumbled sarcastically.

"Thank you yami, for that disturbing idea..." Ryou blinked and proceeded to wash the dishes.

"Hey I thought I said I was going to do them?"

"Well...I'd rather not let them be a breeding ground now that you so kindly pointed it out."

"You're so paranoid hikari," I yawned. "I'm going to bed. Akefia said he liked what you cooked. See you in the morning."

"Night yami! Night Akefia!"

"What's he say?" Akefia asked when he realized Ryou said his name.

"He said good night."

Akefia stuck his head through the door and looked at Ryou. "Good...night, Ry-ou?" He said trying out a little japanese. "Was that right?" He looked back at me.

"Yes, you said it right." I replied. Ryou smiled and waved a soap soaked hand to us as we left.

We proceded to my room. Where I closed the door. Since I don't like it open. I don't know why...I just don't...It makes me feel odd. It drives me nuts when Ryou comes into my room to say something and he leaves it open when I'm all comfortable...Then I have to get up and close it. And when I finally get back into my comfortable mode he walked BACK in and leaves the door open AGAIN! That's makes me just want to gnaw on him. Not in a violent way...just enough to make him realize it irritates me.

"Okay...same bed arrangement as last night, you're still sleeping inside."

"Aw...come on!"

"I don't sleep next to walls."

"You used that excuse last night!"

"Well it's true! Now shut the hell up get, your ass on that bed and sleep!" I said lifting my foot and using it to push him into my bed.

"Well aren't you just violent. And you were worried about ME killing YOU!" He huffed.

"Oh don't you start with me! You're the one who bit me!"

"You deserved it!"

"I did not!"

"Yes you did!"

"Oh shut up and go to sleep." I threw a pillow at him. He caught it and grumbled as he crawled toward the wall and slidded under the sheets.

"There, now see that's not so bad." I said sliding in next to him. Thank god for king size beds.

"Says you...You're not crammed against a wall." He grumbled.

"Oh please you aren't either! You're just too chicken to slide up closer to me." I said smirking to myself as I turned away from him facing the open room.

"Oh yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"I'll have you know I'm not afraid of anything! And you'd better watch your ass there little thief, or I may be tempted to put that ass to better use!"

I literally squealed in surprise when I felt his hand go some where it shouldn't. I turned over quickly ready to chew him into pieces. Because we all know how I like to gnaw on things...That's probably one of my biggest threats...You know right up there with "I'm going to fucking kill you, you damn pharaoh and when I say kill I mean FOR REAL this time!". Though that one's usually directed at the pharaoh...Though sometimes I tend to scream at people, yet still use 'pharaoh' in my threat...So these people think I've lost it...which I have.

I opened my mouth to let out an unholy, loud, shrieking scream at him, but he cut me off. With his mouth.

I was going to protest. You know throw him off then procede to smack him until my hand went numb, but I COULDN'T! I was like totally getting into it! The feel of his lips on mine...I realized that he wasn't as rough as I once though I'd been...His skin was actually smooth and his hands...Oh his hands were soft...Though despite that, I was still finding it just a teeny bit ODD that I was making out with myself. Though after about ten seconds of that thought, I got over it. I mean hell, fuck it, so what if I'm making out with myself? Ryou's teachers always used to say you should 'love' your self. Though I'm sure they didn't mean it in THIS context... But I don't care...

At least I'll know what to expect...I let him slide his tongue in my mouth. In a comparison from my current state, and what I used to be...He definately dominated over me...But for some odd reason...I was finding that...I don't know...hot! Usually I was THE boss! But I didn't feel the need to take over. Yeah it was weird...

He pulled back. And smirked at me, holding my chin in his hand. "Now shut up and go to sleep."

"You are mean! Tiy are wicked! You are SOOO me!" I huffed turning back over and cacooning myself in my blanket. Big meanie. You just await Akefia. I'm showing you the joys of the shower in the morning. I WILL get you back then!

Insert wicked cackle.

xxx

_Leo: Yes I thought I'd update this BEFORE the hurricane blows us away...No I don't think it will do more than maybe knock out my power but oh well...So I thought I'd give you a nice and quickly update, as a hurricane present XDXDXD._


	17. Good Morning to you too

_Leo: I AM SO SORRY! I hope you haven't given up on this story! Oh ra, the holidays have clean wore me out. So I bring you this chapter! I hope you can forgive me for my lack of update in a while._

**Two of the Same Kind  
****Chapter 16**

Meh. Morning's suck...Plain and simple. What's to love about them? Unfortunately the sun shines so bright at some point you HAVE to get up! Damn Ra...I take that back Ra, O heavenly godly sounding term, I praiseth thee?

I attempted to get up. I really did, but I came to find my self, stuck. No joke. Of course it could be because of the muscular arm draping over me in the possessive manner it seemed to be doing so in. Akefia was out like a light. And he was just NOT budging! As much as I hated the idea of waking him, because I KNOW what I'm like when I'm woken, but I had no choice...

I nudged him a few times. He mumbled something incoherent. I tried again this time a little harder. This time I got resultes. He rolled over and wrapped his arm even furthur around me. How lovely. I've been taken as a possession.

"Akefia!" I whispered harshly.

"MMMmwha?" He groaned squinting his eyes as they slowly seemed to open and close again.  
"Akefia damn it, I'm not kiddin-OH ow! Rib in elbow! rib in elbow! Let go of me! Since when was I such a heavy damn sleeper! Thieves don't sleep like this! You're messing with me you heinous bastard! I know you're awake!

"...don't you mean elbow in rib?" He spoke after a few moments.

"You bastard...Just release me!"

"What are you in such a hurry to ge up for? Didn't you say you don't have to worry about getting up at the crack of dawn on this day in this year?"

I blinked. "Oh, yeah It's sunday in this time, so we don't HAVE to get up, but I can hear pharaoh pain in the ass in my house and I want to know why!"

"Meeeeh..."

"Come on! I hear Marik and the Pharaoh arguing in the kitchen! I MUST go make my entrance!"

"Fine..." He grumbled sitting up and glancing over at me.

"You look like a mess...But then again...what's new?" I spoke idly

"Fuck you."

"Been contemplating it actually."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing at all..." I spoke slipping out of the bed, dragging him along.

"Why you in such a hurry...You'd think you missed them or something." He rolled his eyes as I opened the door and crept down the hall.

"Shut up okay?" I replied. I stood by the door to the kitchen and threw it open, singing (very loudly might I add) "Take me down to the Paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty, oh won't you please take me home, yeeeah!" I smirked as Marik joined in with his invisible guitar.

"Hey wait...We're GAY! We can't rock to that song!" He suddenly realized.

"Oh yeah..." I stopped and thought for a moment. "Okay, got one." I began jamming out on my own invisible guitar. We're weird, don't mind us. "Pour some Sugar on meeee!"

"In the name of LOVE!"

"Pour some sugar on meeee!"

"Come on Fire me up!"

"Oh bloody hell will you two quit that!" My hikari begged walking into the kitchen with his hands over his ears from our extreme loudness.

"...PANAMA!"

"Oh oh ooh oh oh!"

"STOP IT!"

"He's got big balls..." Me

"SHE's got big balls..." Marik.

"But we've got the biggest balls of them all!" Together.

"STOOOOP!"

"Okay okay, FINE hikari...You're so uptight...We were just singing, what so wrong about that?" I asked feigning innocence.

"SINGING? More like screeching loud enough to make the neighbors want to call the police! The lady down the street already has the head officer on speed dial!"

"Really?"

"YEAH!"

"Cool!" Marik and I said together.

"What is wrong with you two?" Ryou sighed walking out of the room holding his head. Hey, our singing/screaming isn't THAT bad...is it?

"Anyways, what the hell are YOU doing here pharaoh? I thought I told you I'd rip your head of, chop you into peices and stick you in the garbage disposal if I caught you here again?" I asked, though I really didn't say it in an angry tone.

"Well good morning to you too, thief. I'm not in the mood to fight with you so I blame it on Yugi as to why I'm here."

"Fine. I'm too tired to bitch you out anyways."

And that was pretty much that. In the mornings we had an unwritten contract you could say. Granted everyday I try to rid myself of it, but every day I end up not doing it. And this was another failed attempt to kill him in the morning time.

"Mreh...What are YOU doing here Marik?"

"Bakura, when am I NOT here?" He looked at me like I was growing a second head.

"Good point, jack ass. Where's Malik? Not to mention Yugi and the OTHER pharaoh? Damn it there are too many people now!"

"I agree with you..." The pharaoh sighed. "I'm realizing what a dipshit my past self is. OH MY GOD! I know why you want to kill me! I want to kill me now!"

Marik smirked. "I never thought the pharaoh would hate himself. I figured Bakura would be the one hating his past self. And we can clearly tell that to not be true. Though i have to agree with you Yami, that ten minutes I spoke to Akefia before you actually woke up and joined the world this morning, were enough to make me want to rip him into little Atemu ribbons."

"How long have you guys been up?" I asked confused.

"Bakura...It's twelve thirty...We've been here since eight..." Yami answered.

"Yeah and this bastard was asleep! Leaving me with his other self as the hikaris went off to do hikari things! Though they came back every now and then because they don't trust us...Or should i say me...They took Atemu with them since I tried to stick his head in a blender..."

"And I helped him...You'd think it would be esier...But that hair kinda stopped us...That and freaking hikaris." The pharaoh averted his eyes as I went into shock.

"You mean...You mean! Wow...you may have a chance to become cool yet Pharaoh! Though I still hate you for the record."

"Well I wouldn't expect any less." He rolled his eyes in that all knowing fashion.

"Well what do you say we go do yami things! While the hikaris do they're hikari stuff?" Marik suggested.

"You mean I have to hang out with him?" Both Yami and I pointed at each other and screamed at the same time. Damn we're so alike...ACK! NO I didn't say that! Gaaaah!

"Oh come on, it won't be THAT bad...If you guys would quit acking like bitches you could actually be friends..."

"Not in this life time." Again said as one.

Yami looked at me and growled. "Quit saying what I SAY!"

"You ass hole you're saying what I'M saying not the other way around!"

"I am NOT!"

"YOU ARE TOO!"

"I AM FUCKING NOT!"

"DON'T START WITH ME YOU STUPID BASTARD PHARAOH! SINCE WHEN THE HELL DO YOU CUSS! AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE THE ANGEL?"

"NO I'M NOT! HAPPY? AND YOU STARTED IT."

"This isn't going to end well..." Marik rolled his eyes speaking so Akefia would understand.

"What are they fighting about?"

"I'm not quit sure...everyday is the same. They get up with somewhat tolerance for each other, then by the end of the day they want each other to die in horrible ways...It's typical, you get used to it after a while."

"Oh..." He blinked. Yes I have the powerful ability to fight AND know what's going on around me. Aren't I special that way? Yes I am. I'm a special Bakura!

"You know what, you guys can wait! I'm going to take a damn shower. Go in my room pharaoh and I'll kill you! You hear me!"

"Why would I want to anyways!"

"GOOD. And if he does Marik I'll kill you too!" I said grabbing Akefia. "You need a shower too, don't even argue..." I pulled him along too.

"What the hells a shower?" I heard him cry as I hastely grabbed some clothes from my room and locked him and myself in the bathroom. Thank god it was pretty big. That might have been awkward if not.

"Okay, put it this way a shower is where you get CLEAN..."

"What are you insinuating!"

"That you need to get clean badly...Now shut up and go with it." I mumbled, knowing this was going to be one pain in the ass...After all this was ME...

xxx

_Leo: Okay the singing the two were doing were from real songs if you couldn't tell. The First being Guns n roses, Paradise city; the second Def Leppard, Pour some suger on me; the third Van Halen, Panama; and the last was ACDC, Big Balls song. All songs I recommend. Especially the last one...It's hilarious!_


	18. Only Lust, I swear!

_Leo: Freakin A, I'm sorry this took so long, i fell out of yuugioh for a while, but that won't stop me from finishing what I should!

* * *

_

**Two of the Same Kind  
Chapter 17**

Yes, I live. Man, I've been having on hell of a time trying to get everything back in order. That psycho Malik kidnapped my keyboard as ransom. He said that if I don't find him a full Lego set, that he would take my new keyboard. That bitch. It's not my fault they have a criminal record and arrest warrant on him preventing him from buying it himself! So what have I been forced to do for all this time? Yes you guessed it. I've been searching for fucking leggos. Well I finally found a set, too bad I had to beat some kid snot-less for it. He gave me back my keyboard after which I shoved a handful of the pieces down his throat. Teach that bitch to black mail me again.

Anyways, where were we in this story? Hell if I can remember. That idiot threw me off for days. And then I had to help Pharaoh and Marik replace the game shop roof that we broke when we decided to see if we could make our own full size slingshot cannon with a bowling ball. I still can't believe the pharaoh helped us on that. Ah! Yes I remember! I was learning Akefia to the modern day shower. He still thinks that thing is evil.

"Okay Akefia, touch nothing, or lose your fingers. Got it? Hopefully this whole experience will be relatively painless." I grumbled turning the faucet on to warm up the water. That fucking water takes like ten minutes to warm up? What the hell?

"What the fuck?"

"What!"

"That water! Just came out of that metallic thing! There's no lake around here!"

"Well you see, there's little rivers running through our houses that give us water, now shut up with the questions and take your clothes off." Oh that sounded wrong didn't it?

"Yeah just like 'Cars' are modern day horses." He huffed handing me my shirt and my pajama pants that I'd been so gracious to let him borrow.

"Who told you about that?"

"Marik. When that little pansy kid was fretting all over you."

"Hey Ryou's not a pans-...Okay yeah I can't even defend him there, but I meant it all with good intentions. I just thought it'd be easier than trying to explain what all this new crap was."

"I'm not as stupid as you apparently deem me." He closed his eyes and folded his arms over his bare chest.

"Well excuse me, I couldn't remember my intelligence level back then so fucking sue me!"

"Sue?"

"FORGET IT!" I shook my head and returned to the flowing water. It was warm now. I hesitantly took my shirt off. Oh was this going to be weird, taking a shower with myself. Yep, I think I've lost it. Never had it, stated this several times before, but yep I've gone off the deep end. "Okay, come over here."

He grumbled, but obliged. I told him where to go and he stepped into the shower. He was glancing at me like a was a psycho. News flash people, we've been through this before. I was so kind as to NOT warn him, when I pulled up the lever for the shower. The water came flowing down on him and he literally threw himself back and sunk to the bottom of the tub. I wanted to die of laughter. And I almost did when I choked. What a way to die man, choking because you were laughing at yourself.

"What in the blazing blue FUCKS, was that?" He gasped as he climbed out of the tub, getting water all over me, the floor and...well fuck, everything. Of which I would have to clean, because Ryou can be pushy like that and give me the dreaded puppy dog eyes. And we all know I can't refuse those because, well, I'm a chicken ass like that. Or maybe because Ryou's a conniving bitch like that. Whichever.

"Okay, first off, I'd like to know what exactly a blazing blue fuck is and second that is the shower, where water comes out and washes away all the icky shit that gets all over you and by god, with the mud rolling you did last night...You NEED a shower."

"I wouldn't have been mud rolling if you hadn't been passing yourself around to the tomb keeper and the priest and his bitch." He said in a growl as he rubbed his arms waiting for the water to cool down a bit.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I haven't been passed around to ANYONE thank you very much. It was harmless playing! And who are you too accuse ME of doing something wrong! I'm not your bitch to control, don't forget that!"

"I never said you are, but since when did you, (or should I say I?) become such a slut?""

Okay, yes I was getting pissed. Just slightly? NO, VERY. He had no right. And of course, knowing me an my self sufficient-ness, I was not about to let him run my life. Why could I hate him like Yami apparently hated himself? That's not fair. Yami deserves to be stuck with an over bearing, over protective and moody past self. Was I so fucked up (in both past and present of course) that I hadn't changed at all? And of course that made me like talking to the brick wall that is myself? God damn it all I'm confused again.

"Look, shut up and wash yourself down." I said pushing him back into the tub, and I got in with him. I think we were too pissed to bother to say anything. I silently showed him what shampoo did and what to wash himself with.

It was irritatingly tense in there. I hate tension. Half the reason I despised pharaoh fucko was because I felt so ridiculously tense around him. Yeah I know that's a bad reason, but I think I'm over the original reason, not like the people in my village liked me much anyways. I can't say that I missed them as much as I was freaked out by all that death. Yeah I'll admit to having some fucking issues. Like I've been doing for the past what? Seventeen chapters? Oh my fucking god, you people are STILL reading this? Hey look! A flying monkey!

But all kidding aside, as I showed him how to, say, used a damn bar of soap. I nearly threw myself at him when I heard a loud bang on the door. It scared the proverbial shit out of me what can I say? Akefia looked at me as I clung to his arm.

"What? Haven't you ever seen a guy get spooked?" I growled removing myself from him.

"NO, but it's funny to think you've become such a pansy."

"I HAVE NOT!"

"Oh please. You're as much a girl as that hikari of yours."

"WHAT? Does THIS look like the body of a girl! I'd threaten you with proof but you've already got a good view anyways! And what the hell! You shriek worse than I do!" I replied hell bent on defending myself. I would have added more if he hadn't slammed his mouth down on mine, throwing me up against the tiled wall.

Thank god for thick wall, because with the ravaging and growling we were doing, if they'd been thin, then we would have SO gotten an earful from the others for it. Oh yeah, they'd never let me live that one down. I can see that now, Pharaoh Bitch Head saying something to the effect of: "I knew you thought highly of yourself Bakura, but come on! Having sex with yourself in the bathroom with everyone here! Now that's just pathetic!"

And okay we weren't doing anything 'explicit', but I'm telling you if Marik hadn't banged that door again, we might have. It's pure lust I tell you. None of that love shit involved! I swear! Lust! Now that I've convinced you, it's time to try working on me now.

"WHAT!" I growled pushing him away, grateful for the hot water that would hide the blood that was rushing to my face so fast I might have passed out in normal conditions. That's a lie by the way. I just wanted to sound all cool and author like for you. Because I haven't been around in a while and I want to make you people happy by sharing all my person and embarrassing thought and dreams and all that jazz.

"Hurry up will you! We're getting impatient out here!"

"Oh shut up! I think you two can stand each other for five more minutes! Ra damn it all, I've dealt with that bastard for an entire week straight! You can handle a few minutes." I replied.

"When was THAT, Bakura?" Yami himself decided to ask.

"What the hell? Are you all standing outside of my door! And don't you remember that summer trip we went on? With Yugi, Jounouchi and Ryou? Remember how Kaiba got so pissed off that he nearly burned down the cafeteria?"

"Ooooh, yeah I remember that, because you and your smart ass decided you though putting glue in the little kid's cereal would be funny."

"Oh admit that it was!"

"Okay fine it WAS funny. Now hurry up already!" He huffed loud enough for us to hear over the running water.

"Wha ever, shut up and go back in the living room. There's a fucking Rubik's cube if you're bored enough." I rolled my eyes, throwing a slosh of shampoo on Akefia's head, "Now shut up and if you keep your eyes closed it won't sting. I don't by that 'no tears' shit because I'm a masochist like that."

He squeaked a bit, like he does with that little high-pitched bitch voice he has. I massaged the shampoo through his hair noting the extreme need of conditioner he would need. He's lucky his hair weren't hay or something, god with how dirty it was it should have been...Oh hell, there I go again sounding all flamboyantly gay like...I really need to quit doing that before I scare my beloved readers away. (Though I think you bakas dig this don't you? Then again I AM cool and all)  
"What...is that smell. It smells sweet." He observed after long moments of obviously brainwork going on up in that dark chasm called his head.

"That would be shampoo...I don't have anymore of my coconut stuff left so you'll have to deal with Ryou's triple wild berry smoothie (who comes up with these fucking names?). You'll smell like you fell into a blender of assorted fruit mixed in with like happiness or something, but you'll deal with it I'm sure."

"Would smacking you in the head be dealing with it?"

"NO, no it would not." I replied pushing his head under the water to wash the shit out. "Okay see this wash rag right here?" I spoke after he was done freaking out about the water and shit. He looked at me and nodded. "We're going to switch places so I can wash my hair, you are going to use this, and this soap here to wash your body off. Scrub them scratches real good so I can like stick band-aids on you later.

He nodded and I moved in front of him to take over the water. I like to stand under the water when I wash my hair. It makes it sure I get it all out when I'm done. And of course I'm particular about it. If I don't wash it right it lays all flat and what most people would call perfect, but I think my unruly mess is just fine. That's why I don't blow dry my hair, (also helps that our blow dryers happens to be in the shadow realm at the moment, but we're not going there okay? Ryou got mad enough when I broke the news to him before. If he stumbles across this he may actually do me harm and make me hang out with Anzu or something...God, in all the heavens, oh divine one of justice and stuff that is good, don't make me hang out with Anzu. Please? I'll be your best friend?

I rinsed my hair, just as the water decided it wanted to start cooling down. Shit. I hate taking cold showers. Ooooh hell...There was a VERY bad pun in there if you caught it. And if you didn't I think you're too young to be reading this! Or maybe I'm stupid and hallucinating. Either is quite possible.

"Okay, I think it's time to get out of the shower now, that the water is freezing me half to death. Come over here and rinse off, and hurry up before the water losses ALL of it's warmth." I replied slipping out of the shower to grab us both towels.

"Shit this is cold Bakura!"

Wow, that sounds so weird when your own self is calling you by your name. When technically, even though we address him as Akefia for lack of anything better, his name is Bakura too...

"Yeah hurry up."

"How do I know when it's all out?"

"Your skin will feel squeaky and your hair won't be slick anymore. Or something like that. Or you could to the taste test." I smirked.

"Taste test?" He relied a shiver evident in his tone.

"Yeah, you could stick the end your hair in your mouth and if it tastes like the back of a postage stamp, then you know it's still in your hair."

"What does the 'back of a postage stamp' taste like?"

"Not pleasant, now get out I think by NOW you probably got it all out." I rolled my eyes and reached in the shower to turn the water off. He grumbled but obliged as he stepped out of the tub shivering like he was covered in snow or something.

"Here." I said wrapping a towel around him and taking the other one around my own waist so that I could use the third for hair drying. Yeah my hair gets its own towel.

"So what ARE we doing today?" He asked.

"Well, we're going to show you the joys of the modern world, and even though they both can be utter pains in the ass, both Marik and Pharaoh Bitch Head Face can speak your language, so it'll be good for you in the long run, because after a while I think talking to me gets to be a little painful on the brain. Especially when I start ranting, of which you'll most likely get to see today. If you're lucky that is." I threw him his pants and help him fasten the button once he got them on.

"I guess...I dunno though, your Pharaoh in this time is kinda...well strange."

"Yeah I said the same thing when I met him, again that is. Actually despite the loathing, hatred and general odium between us, we actually CAN tolerate each other to a degree. We just don't like to let every one else know that. He's still an asshole though. With stupid hair."

"I can't disagree with you there." He chuckled, pulling the shirt over his hair and shaking his still wet hair out.

I took my time getting dressed, not like I had anyone to impress. I simply put on a red polo shirt, and black leather pants (which were stolen from Seto) and my tennis shoes. Now Akefia on the other hand was wearing my white button up with some jeans that were perfect on me, but a little too tight on him. Not that I personally minded or anything...

"Alright, we ready to go readdress idiots one and two?" I asked and he nodded.

I opened the door and was surprised to see them not standing there being nosy like they always do when I have someone over, and that person is conveniently in the shower with me. I looked around, and made a quick check in my room, it hadn't been touched, nor was Ryou's room or anything in that half of the house actually.

So we walked back into the living room, so sign of them.

"You don't think they left with out us do you?"

"Please! They've never done that to me before! I mean hell! They've once waited 2 hours for me to get ready, 30 minutes is record time for me!" I replied shaking as I decided to check the kitchen. I swung the door open and stopped mid stride as I nearly tripped over my jaw.

There, in all of their glory, was Pharaoh Dick Head and Marik, up against the wall, full blown making out, tongue and all...

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_Leo: By the way, I myself actually use the triple wild berry smoothie shampoo XD. So nah!_

**_Now's time for a special segment. The mystery of Malik's name!_**

**_Okay lots of people question why Malik is used a lot when Mariku is the true pronunciation the Japanese people would use. The answer to this mystery is: dun dun dun! Malik is an Arabic name! Since Malik (or as they officially call him Marik) is from Egypt, he technically falls under the realm of Arabic nations! His name, Malik actually means: master, angel or King! Hence that is why that name is used most generally in place of Marik so that we may be able to decipher between Marik and Yami no Marik! (As Malik and Marik!)_**

**_And, that my friends, is why Malik is used in replacement of Marik!_**

_If you knew that already, go you! If not, go you now! If you didn't understand that, go you because I didn't either XD!_

_Also if you are a FMA fan too, then I recently put up some screen caps onmy forum from the movie, and for Fruits Basket lovers I got screen caps for that too onmy forum. If you're curious there a link on my profile to my forum!_


	19. Subject Change Please?

_Leo: For some unknown reason, to your liking most likely, I had the urge to write on this story. I will be honest when I say for a while I didn't write on it because I fell out of the Yuugioh phase, but I'm back again XD! And ready to pick up where I left off! So enjoy my lovely readers :3! I love you all!_

**Two of the Same Kind**

**Chapter 18**

So alas, in my loss of mentality, I stand, dumbfounded, in the center of my kitchen. Stricken with utter astonishment; ready to spontaneously combust from a scene that SHOULD have been angry bickering and flying fists, but instead was a rather involved intimate battle of tongues…Literally speaking that is. It was Akefia who picked up my jaw, after which I was forced to pick up his. Yes, not every day you see your best friend making out with your arch nemesis/second best friend in the making, (it's possible…all I have to do is corrupt him enough), and sharing a lovely display of lust…

Okay damn it! They were kissing! I can't act all serious about this! It's nuts! Marik! And Pharaoh! Together! I couldn't even put those three words in the same sentence that's how wrongful it is! Though I must admit, seeing them together, against the wall like that, crazy hair style, mixed with an even crazier hair style (Pharaoh's)…made me realize that, damn it all, they looked good together…If not just for the matching freak hair styles alone. And it scares me to say…I saw this coming…

"Sooo…guys…anything interesting happen while we were in the shower?" Wow I just made the shower comment sound so wrong.

They broke apart like they were simultaneously struck by lightening. They turned so quick I was expecting them to fall over in a heap. Marik looked like a deer in the headlights of a semi-truck while Pharaoh looked ready to die right there, if he wasn't dead already that is.

"Uh…it's futile to say 'it's not what it looks like isn't it?"

"Yeah, Marik, I think so…" I replied shaking my head. "Damn it you two!" I grumbled moving toward the refrigerator, "Could have at least gotten a room first."

"Say what?" Marik looked at me this 'Oh my god! You did NOT just say that!' look. I couldn't help but readily smirk. Even though I was desperately trying to hide my alarm. Best friend…Arch nemesis…inability to put them in the same sentence…Freaking me out at slow pace! Scratch that, fast pace! Really fast pace!

"Okay, lets just get the hell out of here, before I decide to ask questions…" I rolled my head and looked at Marik with that 'please just fucking comply to my wishes before I kill you right now, or it kills me' look. He simply swallowed (that sounds wrong) and nodded. I guess he knew my fearful, 'WTF I'm going to kill something' expression. He should, I only hung him from a light post because he crossed me in that stage. Yeah, I also figured out the secret to Marik's hair…but I can't tell. I made a promise. And even if he's a freak I have to keep it to myself.

"Oh yeah and by the way, we get back before six, got it? Seto, Jou and I are going shopping tonight." I stated in that, 'I am authority' tone. Okay yeah, this chapter has now been dubbed the 'Bakura names all of his expressions, looks and voice octaves'…

"How on earth do you manage to get Seto wrapped around your finger like that?" Pharaoh asked, his face finally returning to its normal color.

"Well, that little fling we had before Jou took over might have something to do with it…Jou doesn't seem to mind! It's in the past and he knows it. And Seto's the one to suffer…" I laughed, or more or less cackled. "He's the one stuck watching us turn into girls, shopping AND he pays for it…But then again he tells us to rack up his credit cards…Says it gives him something to pay for…Even though he gives half of it away to charity…he still can't seem to spend enough to make a dent in his fortune…Man it's great to know a rich pal."

"And the priest is quite an impressive lover." Akefia added and I nodded.

"Yeah, that's a good point." I looked back up at the other two and they looked like Akefia and I did when we walked in on them. "What? I thought you guys knew about the me and Seto thing? Heck I figured by now Pharaoh would have figured out the fling I had with his high priest WAAAY back then!"

"Something tells me they didn't…" Akefia added, slumping his shoulder next to me.

"You were with SETO!" Marik said much more loudly than my ears would have liked.

"You seem perturbed?" I replied meekly.

"Well YES! You said you and I were TOO different, but you and Seto are even farther apart than we are and you didn't give ME a chance!"

"Marik, don't huff at me. To be truthful…it's the hair. Your hair freaks me out. But seriously! Like I couldn't see the sparks flying between you and Pharaoh Baka Ass! You jump each other's shit so unnaturally that I KNOW there's something more to it! And it was only a matter of time. Actually I was firmly hoping I was imagining things, but apparently my 'love' senses are better than I thought. Oh and you better hose down your hikaris before they jump mine." I added in swiftly hoping to change the subject before it got TOO violent.

"What?"

Great more fucking questions! When are these people gonna learn that my method for shutting people up is changing subjects not eliciting MORE questions! Gah! They need to start becoming mind readers so I can be lazier and I won't have to explain every little thing to them! Geeze! Is that TOO much to ask for? Then again, that's probably NOT a good thing…they really don't want to know what I'm thinking when I watch a Richard Gere movie…Shut up, he's hot and you know it.

"Okay, let's just go. It's almost twelve-thirty, that means I have roughly five hours before shopping spree with Seto. If you bakas wanna pelt me with questions, lets do it as we walk."

"Uh, where are we going?" Marik asked, being the dumb ass that he is.

"Oh come on Marik, where do we ALWAYS end up?" I sighed.

"The shadow realm? Hell? Take your pick."

"Smart asses get the sharp end of my shiny new knife, you know. But seriously Marik. We next to always end up at the mall. And I'm hungry and too lazy to make food, and they have good pizza…"

"Ah…he makes a good point…" Pharaoh pointed out.

"Hey whose side are you on here?" Marik nudged him with his elbow.

"Wait…we were having an argument requiring of sides being chosen?"

"YES!" Marik and I responded together. We always do that. And we're always arguing over SOMETHING even if it doesn't make any sense, or doesn't even sound argumentative. Nine times out of ten, we're arguing…Plain and simple. And we like it just fine like that…

"Uh…I plead the fifth…" Pharaoh added quickly.

"What!" Marik looked stricken.

"Marik…you should really read up on your government." I added, figuring he didn't have any clue what Yami…. GAH… what PHARAOH was talking about. I must teach myself NOT to call him Yami…that's the beginning stages of me beginning to actually…tolerate him.

"But that's American government! Do they even have a fifth amendment in Japan?"

"Gasp. Marik knows something intelligent! I think I need to write this down! What's today's date?" I grabbed for a piece of paper on the phone desk by the door.

"Oh shut up and walk." Marik pushed my outside, before I could write it down…Damn it I really was going to save that.

"Come on Akefia, stay away from the crazies." I said grabbing his arm and pulling him out with me. "Oh and for god's sake, lock my door this time! Last time you 'forgot' we came home to fifteen children playing in our house like it was an amusement park!"

"It was four kids, Bakura, not fifteen."

"Same difference." I rolled my eyes.

"Nice oxymoron there Kura." Marik shook his head as he pulled the key from the bottom of the windowsill, tape with duct tape and locked the door. "

"I have really got to give you a key to our house…" I turned around to meet face to face with some strange person that, by all means, should not have been standing in my yard. "Can I help you?" I growled as he backed up.

"Yeah we're looking for Ryou Bakura. That's you ain't it?"

I said nothing for a moment, before finally replying. "Yes, and what do you want?"

"Well, you see, a friend of yours…messed up one of my friends…And we don't tolerate that very well…" He replied, and I noticed his pals behind him.

"Well I'm sorry you're delusional, but I haven't done anything to you. I don't even know you."

"You know me, you little smart ass! My friend's the one who slams you into your locker on a regular basis, don't you remember?" He shook his head clicking his tongue.

I didn't even get the chance to blink before his fist connected to my face and he threw me back into my front door, completely breaking it off the hinges. I laid on my back, in some serious pain, and unable to get up, with a nice sliver of the polished wood finish sticking into my back and coming out of my side, sending blood everywhere.

"HEY! Who the hell do you think you are to attack Bakura!" At first I though it was Marik's growl. It almost sounded like it, but when I leaned my head up, I immediately took notice of Marik's presence at my side, with Akefia on my other. And then it occurred to me…It wasn't Marik taking up defense for me…

It was Yami…

XxX

_Leo: Bwaha, bet you weren't expecting that XD! I needed more action in this story and somehow, all the shit happens to Bakura! Well, I'll keep this author's note short so I can go start the next chapter RIGHT NOW! Chapter's a bit shorter…Sorry bout that!_


	20. Aren't you mean today!

**Two of the Same Kind**

**Chapter 19**

Marik helped me sit up while Akefia pulled the splinter of wood out of my abdomen. I yelped but I could only be thankful it was me and not my hikari. I would have been severely pissed and probably have done something so bad that it would have gotten FBI attention…Does Japan even have an FBI? You know I should really try studying up on Japanese culture for once…

"Look this little shit had one of his buddies put my pal in the hospital. I think I should return the favor."

"Well, you've done your job, get out of here, before I decide you're not worthy of breathing anymore." Pharaoh's voice was sharp and cold, a tone of which I've never heard from him.

"You think I'm afraid of you! You tell your little blonde friend that next time I see his street trash face, I'm going to make him wish he never stood up for you, Ryou Bakura!" The asshole growled before turning away from us and tried to walk away.

Note I said 'tried'.

I nice swirl of dark energy sent all three of the challengers face first into the not-so-soft cement sidewalk.

"Forget how to walk?" Yami chuckled darkly. Yes I do believe I could easily get used to this side of Pharaoh…I think I like this dark, and psycho version.

"What the fuck did you do asshole?" The little punk leader stood up and with a sweep and grabbed Pharaoh by the collar of his shirt. Yami's expression didn't change in the slightest.

"I didn't do anything. You're the defective walker."

I should have died with how hard I laughed and the fact that it made me bleed even more profusely, when the little bastard tried to stick a knife to Pharaoh and Yami's foot went straight into the man's groin.

"You son…of a bitch…" He gasped falling to the floor, while he other two thought it would be good to take a moment to gang up on Yami.

Marik stood up and dashed over there just as both of them closed in. Armed with a flowerpot that Ryou had insisted on placing in the front yard he smashed it into one guy's head, while the other guy got the briefcase end of…. Malik's swing…Wait Malik!

"How many time I got to tell you assholes to leave Ryou alone!" He snarled, slamming him again with the large black briefcase he had with him, for what reason I don't know.

"Hikari? Where did you come from!" Marik looked over at Malik. "Ooooh…You're the blonde who put his friend in the hospital then…"

"Yep…"

"Well…" I coughed. "That makes some sense then…Ow…Damn you! You should have told me about this!" I leaned on Akefia in order to stand up. He stood up with me and held me in place, knowing I might contract the random urge to slam my foot into my attacker's face.

"Sorry yami…" Ryou said from a distance behind Malik, with Yugi next to him. "We just got back and…I'm sorry, I just didn't want to be a trouble to you…"

"Hikari…seriously, tell me when it's ever been trouble for me to send a few assholes to either the shadow realm, the hospital or hell?"

"I'm sorry…" He lowered his head.

"Oh shut up and get me a towel or something…" I rolled my eyes and he gave me a faint guilty smile. "And YOU, get the hell out of here, before I put you in a state you'll wish you were rather dead in." I threatened sending of my infamous glares.

The idiots scattered away, which was good for them, because they were in deep shit if they didn't. At that point, I didn't give a damn if Hikari didn't want me to send them on a one-way trip to the Shadow Realm. They made me bleed and broke my pretty new door that I had JUST replaced after Marik and Malik thought it would be amusing to see if they could ride their motorbike straight through our front door. Miraculously, the bike survived…though I think Marik used another one of his lives as he plummeted through the fish tank. Damn bastard killed my fish, appropriately named, Scar Face! That was a badass fish I'll have you know!

"Oooh…My head feel like it's swirling…" I complained and not sooner after it was said had I been hoisted into the hair by my wonderful counter part. "Well aren't you my hero! I mumbled in a half delighted tone.

"Stop talking or I'll put you down and kick your wound."

"Yeah…that's more like a response I was looking for." I snorted. "It's sickening that two of me can possibly even exist in the same room…Man, you and I would make a great modern day, homosexual, Bonnie and Clyde."

"I don't think I will even bother to ask what that is…" He shook his head. Yeah the modern world is perplexing…it's full of outrageous things! Such as the toaster…man I swear that thing is possessed by a demon…another example is the dishwasher. It also hates me and has tried to kill me on several occasions. No, I'm not lying…I got scorched by that bitch when it fell open in the wash cycle. Yeah, there are some things I'll wait for a while before teaching Akefia about…I don't think he REALLY needs to face the true horrors of the modern world…

"Man, Ryou, how do you end up getting picked on by psychos like these?" Marik asked shaking his head in the slightest while pulling me to the kitchen counter. He was sort of gentle with me…well as gentle as Marik can be as he pulled my shirt off. Not like it's nothing he hasn't seen anyways…I mean hell we've showered together! And NO we didn't DO anything…we like to conserve water you know? … Well and we saw a particularly scary movie that night and refused to be alone…

"I don't know yami," the poor boy looked down and I sighed.

"They didn't see you just then did they? It's good to have them believe that only one us exists…" I asked, in hopes that next time they confused me with my hikari, I would be alone with them. Oh yes…Let me alone with those little bastards…I'm known to do some wrongful and sickening shit…Let the gods help them if they catch me in a dark ally somewhere.

"I don't think so, I was behind Malik…"

"Good then…Oh…ow, my face…I think that asshole bruised my cheek!" I whined. Yes, I'll admit that I whine like a little bitch when I want to, and at that moment, I wanted to. So there.

"Well, you're bitching like a crybaby, so you must be okay."

"Aw, thank you for your concern there Pharaoh, and for a second there I though you cared!" I grumbled.

"What ever gave you that idea?" He snorted. That pompous ass.

"Hey, you're not going to punish them?" Akefia asked me. And I looked at him and smiled in the slightest.

"Naw…" I replied, thankful that hikari wouldn't understand what we were saying. "I'll just wait til I catch him in a dark area somewhere."

"Sounds like you Bakura." Marik snorted.

"Oh shut up you Pharaoh kisser!" That eared a blushing glare from both of them.

"Don't say another word!"

"Oh what's wrong Yami? Don't want your past self to know? Oh Atemu!" I called to the other Pharaoh who was standing next to Malik and Ryou, while the rested of them fussed about me. Poor hikari looked ready to cry when I wailed as Marik took extra measures to tighten my bandage to painful degrees.

"I guess you're staying home tonight eh Bakura?"

"'Eh?' When the fuck did you turn Canadian? And no I am not! I'm going shopping if only to make myself feel better and feel as possibly gay as I can! And for what it's worth Akefia here needs a wardrobe too! So don't even THINK of telling me I can't go just because I have a hole in my abdomen and hemorrhaging in my head!"

"Bakura, you do a horrible job of convincing us to let you go…" Malik gave me a sympathetic look. Hah! Malik only ACTS cute and innocent! I know the psycho beneath that cute exterior! He's fucking nuts! Little bastard convinced me to go into Wal-Mart naked with him…But then again I did that with just about everyone else. Seto will do some crazy shit when he's drunk…Speaking of which…

"And don't you even THINK of telling Seto what happened here! Because then he'll make sure I stay in bed and do what every other pansy in the world would!"

"You mean 'heal', Bakura?" I snarfed at Yami's personal insertion. Yes I said snarfed…Because I'm allowed to make up words. I'm good like that.

"Just shut up and help me get my shirt back on…Or better yet, let me go get one." I struggled to sit up and would have fallen off the counter I'd been thrown down on, yes that sounds so dirty, if Akefia hadn't been there to catch me. "Oh you're just my hero today now aren't you?"

"Didn't I threaten to kick you before for saying that?"

"Man, you're harsh…No wonder I like you so much." That certainly hadn't come out the way it was supposed to…

…Awkward moment…

"Okay! Let's go get me some clothes shall we?" I piped, trying to change the subject and hide the embarrassment at the thought that I'd just discreetly admitted feelings that I'm not supposed to have.

"Yeah yeah, and quit squirming before I throw you over my shoulder like a bag of potatoes." Akefia mumbled at my sudden high-pitched voice.

"Oh hikari! I'm hungry! Can you make something for me!" I called down to him as I was hauled up the stairs.

"Sure thing Bakura! And I'm sorry!" He called back.

"Quit apologizing!"

"And YOU quit yelling that gibberish in my ear!" Akefia grumbled shifting me in his grip which caused me to go 'ouch.'

"Hey you don't have to be mean, I'm crippled here!" He snorted as he set me on my bed.

"What do you want me to pull out?" He asked and looked at me. Of course he wouldn't know what to look for or where to look at. So I would instruct him. Let's just hope my past self is good at following directions.

"I know there's something in there that's red. Red hides blood pretty well if it bleeds through. Which I hope it won't…Oh and you're going with me, Seto and Jou this evening to go shopping."

He looked up at me, once he's found the shirt I desired. "What's shopping?" He questioned in a tone that hinted his suspicion.

"Oh it's not a bad thing! It's actually fun once you get used to it…Besides, you won't have to steal and you can pretty much have what ever you want! Seto treats me like gold…though I have to question why he would continue to do that…He's funny sometimes. I guess he really does have too much money.

"If you say so. I guess you've only nearly gotten killed once, a few more times won't hurt."

"Hey! What happened our there today doesn't ALWAYS happen! That was just a freak happening!"

"Just like my ending up in this time?"

"No dear, you're comparing you being a freak with 'freak happening'. There's a difference. Slight but it's still there."

"Shut up and put your shirt on."

"Ouch, you're harsh today." I stuck my tongue out and slid my nice sleeveless red shit on…heh, I just typed 'red shit'…That's funny…I meant shirt though…seriously…

"Am I?" He pondered.

"Oh now you think you can act all cute on me?" I snorted. "You're a piece of work."

"Takes one to know one."

"You know, in THIS time, that's considered a phrase a three year old wouldn't even use…"

"Bite me moderner." He replied with a huff.

"Hey you can't make up words!"

"Just shut up and let's go." He pulled me down the stairs, this time not carrying me, but dragging me by the arm. Marik was at the bottom of the staircase, and when I got to the bottom, I noticed Seto and Jou at the door. Those bastards better not have called. I paused in the middle of the staircase.

"What are you guys doing here?"

"Well, we saw people fleeing from your house…And thought we'd question why you have no front door…" Seto spoke with a slight smirk and his arms folded.

"Shit happens you know!" I stepped down carefully.

Akefia leaned to catch me when I lost my footing. Unluckily for the both of us his grip on the railing wasn't good enough.

"Bakura watch out!" I heard a voice cry, but before I remembered what happened the both of us were at the bottom of the staircase laying against the last few steps. Akefia was under me, and when my head cleared I sat back. Now he was injured too. This just wasn't our fucking day.

"Akefia?" I spoke as I patted his face.

He didn't respond.

* * *

_Leo: I know, I'm evil, bad Leo bad, leaving your readers with a cliffy…I have to have SOME drama in here! And you know with two Bakura, bad shit is bound to happen! Well I shall be working on the next chapter my lovelies!_


	21. The Good Doctor

**Two of the Same Kind  
Chapter 20**

"Akefia? Akefia, answer me..." I shook him hoping that maybe he was dazed. "Akefia?" I must have sounded in the slightest panic, because Seto, Marik AND Yami rushed to my side, and they general don't do that unless it's really something serious.

"Come on Bakura, let's get him off the floor okay?" Seto tried coaxing me, but by now I was thoroughly freaked out and thinking I killed him.

"Bakura, you have to let him go so we can help him." Marik spoke, shooing Seto out of the way to pet my face in hopes of brining me back to Earth. Akefia was still not moving. Now I wasn't just freaked out.

I was scared.

"He...He must have hit his head on something!" I stuttered as Marik managed to pry me away from Akefia and the other two pulled him to the couch.

"Well, I can confirm that theory..." Yami responded after a moment, pulling his hand away from the back of my other self's head, covered in blood.

"Relax Bakura, he's probably just unconscious..." Marik soothed, brushing my hair back.

"Hey guys what happened in here I heard a loud--oh my god!" My hikari came in and rushed over to me, whilst Malik did the same to Akefia.

"I'm okay hikari, I don't know about him though"...I shivered.

"Hold on I'm gonna call my doctor. While he's here you guys say nothing about your weird Egyptiany crap okay?" I nodded numbly as Seto stepped outside to make the call on his cell phone, which probably cost more than our house.

"What if I seriously hurt him!"

"Bakura, it's not your fault!"

"I tripped! I got hurt in the first place! It IS my fault! Not that I'm about to cry or anything, but it's MY fault! I'm entitled to FREAK out all I want!" Yeah I think by this point I was spazzing out...

"Bakura, don't make me smack you." Marik hushed me. I only complied because Marik has a very powerful right swing.

"It's really not your fault..." Yami added, mopping up the blood with a towel Malik had brought to him.

"Yeah it's just my bad luck that the world hates me! And god! God I hate you so very much right now! WHY? I pray to you five times a day facing your stupid temple! And this is what I get!"

"Bakura, it's Muslims that pray five times a day facing Mecca..."

"Oh..." Hey I tried. How am I supposed to know this shit?" I plopped down on the floor by the couch. "Hey, if he doesn't wake up then what would happen to me?"

Everyone stopped and look at me in my sudden epiphany. After all, if he was me, then wouldn't killing him, in turn, kill me? Or is this some kind of alternate dimension crap that only happens in the oddball episodes of Star Trek? Then again, the weird shit ALWAYS happens to me. Oh and the bad weird shit apparently.

"You know, you make a very good point Bakura...If you're still alive then it's safe to say he's going to live. Unless you're luck really does suck as bad as you seem to think..." Pharaoh snorted.

"You know that's possible! I mean technically I am dead, aren't I? I mean I'm older than any human alive and I've already died once, shouldn't I be considered dead? Oh my god I'm a freak of nature! I shouldn't even exist yet I do! And What the Fuck! I'm supposed to be the evil tyrant of this whole deal and I'm whining on the floor in my living room! I've gone soft! I actually allow my hikari to continue to give me those pitiful looks! And I haven't hit anything in like a day! And I'm ranting and I forgot WHY!" I folded my arms in my lap and hung my head. I tend to get dramatic sometimes.

Don't... don't they make a medicine for bipolar-ness?" Marik asked motioning his hand, and making his sarcasm look like he was just asking all innocent like. Please! He's making fun of me now!

"Yami, perhaps you should lay down?" My hikari suggested in that soft, caring and overly concerned voice that drives me crazy when I'm trying to come off as badass. Geeze people work with me here.

"No I think I'm fine." I snarped. Yes, that's right, snarp.

"Hey, my doctor is coming here, if you don't mind, so try to make sure any of your ritualistic BS is put away and what not." Seto said as he flipped his phone shut, coming back into the room.

"Seto, we're Egyptians, not Satan worshippers." I rolled my eyes.

"Just making it clear, and with Marik, you can never be too sure."

"I resent that! I prefer the term 'anti-god confederate' thank you very much."

"It's not God's fault he hates you."

"Damn it pharaoh! Who's side are you on!"

"Depends on if we're thinking two dimensional sides, or three. Because if we're going three I'll side with the Oompha Loomphas...You can never go wrong with Orange colored people." He replied. He's getting better at his sarcasm I think. I really couldn't help but laugh actually.

"And really Marik, it's not your fault that god was stressed that day. If Gabriel had filed the tax returns like he was supposed to then he wouldn't have taken out of you when he struck you with lighting and forced your hair like that." Wow! Brownie points to Seto for that one! Again I gripped my sides as I laughed at poor 'ganged up on' Marik.

"Thanks guys..." I mumbled. I knew they were trying to chill me out. I tend to get a slight frantic and when I do things disappear to the shadow realm (great example: the toaster and the can opener.)

The others nodded their responses; they knew it was best it be a silent thing. Malik, who was standing by the window turned around at the sound of a car. He peeked through that girlish curtain Ryou insists on putting in our house. "Hey guys I think the doctor is here..." He finally confirmed.

"Okay, none of your magical crap from here on out, got it?" Seto spoke like a drill sergeant.

"Yes sir!" I saluted by mere natural 'smart ass' instinct.

Malik in all his hyper-ness sprinted toward the door to open it. He smiled big and gave a hearty greeting to the man who apparently was here to make sure I hadn't killed 'myself'. Malik always had a little bit TOO much gusto. Marik OFTEN bitched to me about it. Often. Like, twice every day often. You know, often is a mighty funny word...

"Mr. Kaiba, you said you have a patient here that you're concerned about?" The doctor spoke after giving a smiling, curt bow in response to Malik's over zealous friendliness. Damn I'm just on an adjective roll today!

"Yeah, he and Bakura over there bad a nasty afternoon brunch with the floor there, after falling down the stairs. Needless to say that led to a nasty adjournment of that meeting." Seto replied and the man let out a jovial laugh.

I leaned closer to Yami who was currently kneeled on the floor not but four feet away. "That must be CEO humor."

"I think so...I mean I don't understand it, and that guy laughed...So it has to be..." He replied. "Either that or we're both too stupid to understand the joke anyways..."

"I'm betting on the second reason..." I snorted, watching the doctor easily find his patient. He leaned next to the couch and carefully inspected Akefia. Checking his heart beat, pulse, breathing...yeah all that doctor stuff that I know nothing about.

"What seems to be the matter with him?" Seto asked after a few moments of watching the doctor inspect my fallen past self.

"He's fine. He'll just wake up with a headache. I'll prescribe him some sleep medication at a later date if he needs it, which it's common to have periods of insomnia after experiencing a concussion. He's lucky, he looks a slight short of a contusion."

"Uh..." Yami raised his hand and the man turned to look at him. "What's the difference between contusion and concussion? They both sound bad to me..." He made a very good point there. I sat closer to listen to the explanation in case I had anything to worry about.

"A concussion is a slight bruising in the brain from a blow to the head. In this case, falling down the stairs. A contusion is more serious, leading to a much longer time unconscious or possible brain damage."

"Contusion does that?" I looked over at Marik, "Well that explains your damage then..."

"Oh fuck you Bakura." Marik pouted. He's such a baby sometimes I swear.

"How long will he be like that?" I asked after I gave a short period of time to giggling at Marik.

"Probably not long, most likely before the sun sets. Don't let him strain himself too much when he does wake up, because if he injures himself worse, it could lead to brain hemorrhaging and that can be fatal." The doctor smiled as he stood.

"You must be a very god doctor if you could figure it out so quickly...Are you sure that's all it is?" Yugi asked, reminding me that the half pint was still there.

"Oh certainly. The gash in his head was clean, no broken bone no seriously extruding injury...He'll be fine, if you do have problems I'm sure Mr. Kaiba will let me know." He nodded to Seto.

"Yes, thank you Dr. Patton. Foreign or not, you're still the best doctor in this country."

"Oh heavens no, I have serious competition to the Japanese folk, you're a smart bunch I'll give you that. I best be off, I have appointments to make, do tell me the status of your friend at a later date. I hope to see that his injuries are indeed minor!"

"Thank you Mr. Patton!" I called as I leaned out the window as he strolled down the walkway to his car.

"Your welcome, lad!" He smiled. What a nice guy. I can't tell if he's British or American...Hmm...I'll have to ask one day.

"Okay now what?" I pulled myself back inside the house, via the window and glanced around at everyone else, whom I'd realized appeared out of virtually nowhere following the 'attack on me'.

"I don't know, but maybe we should get him into a bed, now that we know he's not dying or something of that sort, I think it would be best to let him sleep." Ryou spoke in that lamb-like voice that always seemed to vibrate with fear when talking to me. I don't know why! For the love of Ra the only thing I've ever done bad to that kid was stuff in him a dryer and walked away! Hell I didn't even turn the blasted thing on! And it's not MY fault the police had to raid our house with snipers that night...I was protecting him! I mean who would ever think to look for a kid in a dryer? Okay maybe the sniper thing WAS my fault...But it really ISN'T my fault that that schizophrenic woman at the bank thought I said, "give me your money", when I actually said, " What's up honey? (because I'm gay like that)." And I swear on my soul... I'd swear for saving the pharaoh's life if I were lying, that is the truth!

I was only there to pick up the check Ryou's dad sends...geeze...and then she had to go and trip the alarm. After they escorted me away in HANDCUFFS, they realized I didn't try to rob a bank! You know after they stormed the house and scared my hikari shitless they decided to actually LOOK at the security tape! You know, I bet if I was trying to rob the bank I wouldn't get caught, but when I actually AM innocent I'm fair game! What the fuck? How I even got into that topic I really don't even remember. I supposed my mind is more distorted than previously though, because not only am I crazy, but I have a shit-span of a memory. And serious typing issues, as I had to retype that last word 'memory' like fifteen times before Microsoft word took away the red squiggly line... Yeah Ryou got me a bootlegged version of Word. I suppose it's better than notepad...Notice I make less mistakes! (They're still there, just lok harder...oop; see there's a mistake in this sentence!)

Oh my...I seemed to have strayed from the subject again...you know I could probably write a story on my random thoughts alone...Unfortunately, only I would understand most of it...

"Baaakura..." I snapped out of my trance and looked up to see Marik eyeing me like my mind went off on a trip to the Bahamas. Which it did once, and came back with a pretty nice tan too.

"Yes?"

"I thought I'd wake you up from your daze before you drooled all over the floor. You know sleeping while standing up can't be very good for a person."

"Oh what do you know, Mr. 'I sleep with my motorcycle'." I giggled to myself when I realized just how mentally disturbing that really was. And after a moment I think I began to feel a little ill picturing that. "Okay forget I said that..."

"Okaaay, maybe you ought to lay down for a bit too..."

"But I wanna go shopping!" I whined like a child, yes I know. But shopping makes me feel better, and it would give me an opportunity to find something pleasing for my fallen past self...like a nice new knife...That would make him happy...Since he's me technically, I KNOW it would!

"We'll go later, okay Bakura. You have a nice hole in your side, so please just lay down for a bit?" Seto bargained with me, and damn he's good at that. I pouted but finally conceded defeat.

"Fine...You win.." I mumbled walking up the stairs, realizing as my eye felt heavier that I was actually I little exhausted.

Besides, I would need sleep, so that when I was refreshed I could completely destroy the lives of those who actually thought they could attack me an get away with it. Yeah I won't let that one go.

That's just a reminder children, don't fuck with Bakura.

Unless you're a really hot guy. Then it's okay.

Xxx

_Leo: Sorry that took so long! I've been on an art craze, and my mom's been restricting me from computer use, so I've been drawing a lot more and yeah you know how that goes! I will hopefully have another chapter up much sooner. I love you all for sticking with me, even if I take too long to update...I'm not worthy of your praise! (Maybe your scorn and hatred, but not praise!)_


	22. COLD Shower

_Leo: Oh my effing god! An update!_

**Two of the Same Kind **

_**Chapter 21**_

I woke up with a start.

After being told to go lay down, I made my way up to my room. They had put Akefia there while I was on a space trip in my mind, which as we all know happens far to often any more. So naturally since it was my bed and well and I'd slept in the same bed with him before, (Haha I slept with myself) I crawled in next to him.

Here's the part where I wake up with a start. I was in that peaceful state of half sleep where you think you're asleep but you're still actually partly awake, right. So when I felt something straddle my hips I swore to myself I was dreaming. I rolled my head around and then I felt a nibbling sensation on my neck and that's when I knew I wasn't exactly dreaming.

My eyes shot open when a moan slipped passed my lips.

"Bout time you woke up." Akefia whispered huskily while hovering above me. I looked up and immediately my face flushed. It COULD have been the fact that he was wearing only his pants, or possibly the fact that my pants felt a lot tighter than they previously had.

"What kinda wake up call is that." I breathed and nearly yelped when he ran his tongue along the grooves of my ear.

"Well, you were sleeping and looking increasingly delicious, and who am I so resist temptation when it calls?"

"You're despicable." I arched my back as he nipped at my now exposed chest. How he's managed to remove my shirt with out my being aware of it, I'm not sure, but I chalk it down to thieving skills.

"I can be." He ran a tanned hand up my thigh causing me to shiver. "But I don't see you resisting me."

"How can I?" I bit back another sigh, "You know exactly where to touch me!"

"Of course I do." He mouth crashed down on mind before I could respond. By now my head was swirling and he quickly gained access to my mouth. I mewled at the back of my throat as he ran his tongue along my bottom teeth.

And there came the harsh buzz kill.

A knock at the door.

"Mother fucker," we both cursed almost simultaneously before we pulled apart and I sat up trying to button my shirt back together.

"Yeah?" I called to signify that I was awake and hoping that my voice didn't show how irritated I really was. Actually I was more or less fuming. I would definitely require a cold shower.

"It's almost Seven p.m. I didn't know if you were still planning on going shopping with Seto, yami, but I thought I would tell you either way."

"Ah, okay. I'll be out in a few then." I replied sighing, I couldn't get mad at hikari, he was too innocent to realize what was ABOUT to happen. Now if it had been Marik his ass would have been toast.

"Oh, has Akefia woken up yet? I didn't know if you were taking him with you, because if you are I was gonna go over to Yugi's and chill with him and Malik." Ryou continued through the door. Sometimes I think that boy is WAY too caring.

"Yeah, he's awake. Actually he woke me up, so I think he's fine for a couple hours of shopping. Doctor said something about insomnia, so I might as well attempt to wear him out by dragging him along." I knew that impatient look Akefia was giving me, because I was one to use it all the time and I held up a silent finger of protest until hikari was done with the conversation. "So yeah, I'm going to bring him with me, feel free to go to Yugi's. I'll take my cell phone in case something happens."

"Okay yami, have fun then."

I listened for a moment until I was sure hikari was gone. I knew he wouldn't understand what I was going to say to Akefia anyways but I wanted to make sure there was NO hint to him what had just taken place. I don't know why but I don't see hikari taking well to me well…fucking myself. (Man that sounds wrong on so many levels.)

I turned to Akefia and leaned to flick the light on. I'm sure my face must have been flushed. He chuckled a bit before placing his fingers on my bitten lips. As he leaned in again another knock came and I growled again.

"Hey you guys coming or what?' Marik said through the door.

"What do you mean? You're going with us?"

"Yeah, hikari's gonna be off playing with Yugi and Ryou so Yami and I are tagging along. Seto said it was okay in any case."

"Great," I mumbled under my breath. "I'm getting up, let me take a quick shower." A very COLD shower…

"But you just took one earlier."

"Don't argue with me." A rolled my eyes despite the fact that he could not see me do it. He's an idiot sometimes.

"Fine, just be quick, man. I'm getting bored rummaging through all your video games and erasing your saved slots."

"YOU BETTER NOT HAVE!"

"I didn't, I didn't relax." He snorted and I could hear him walking away. I let out a heavy breath and turned to my irritated other self.

"Looks like this is going on hold for a while. We're going into town." I stood up and he gave me a half pout. "And I'm going to go take a cold shower. You get dressed and feel free to use whatever you want in my room. Except my button up shirts, those don't seem to say on you for very long." I stretched and he snorted.

"Fine fine, but I'm going to make them pay for ruining my fun."

"You know it's creepy enough knowing I'm attracted to myself, don't make it worse. And you've only been here for two days. This goes beyond morally wrong! This is worse than incest! …Oh wait…Incest is an Egyptian practice…Then maybe it's not THAT bad…what am I saying that's ridiculous, people don't normally come face to face with themselves…that's just impossible…unless you're me…or apparently the Pharaoh, but that doesn't change the fact that it's-"

"Hey."

"What?"

"You're rambling again."

"Oh…sorry…I'm going to go take that shower now!" I grabbed some clothes and slipped out into the hall and into the bathroom. I shut the door with a sigh. Why is it MY life that must be complicated?

I took a hasty shower, and so bloody cold I probably formed icicles in places icicles shouldn't form. I didn't take very long, maybe five minutes but that surely sufficed, even though the whole in my side still hurt and I was having a damnably hard time tying it back up. Luckily for me Marik decided to intrude.

"I knew you weren't planning on asking for help, because you're stubborn like that." Marik snorted leaning against the door he'd just slipped into the room from. "I heard the water stop running and you never take more time dressing than showering."

"Thank you for calling to attention my current incapability's."

"Ouch you're in a mood today, shall I help you?" He asked looking at my wound. I only nodded not willing to give him the verbal victory. Bastard wasn't going to get any admission of help from me. Not a chance in hell buddy.

He leaned behind me kneeling, seeing as I was sitting on the edge of the tub. He pulled the bandage around and I winced, leave it to Marik to apply pressure enough to stop me from breathing, let along to stop the blood flow.

"When my eyeballs pop out of my head from you squeezing to tight, don't worry about it, I'll be fine."

"Oh hush, you know it's best if it's tight." He paused. "So…how good are kisser is your past self?"

"I hate you Marik." I blushed heavily. I hate it when Marik picked up on the little unimportant thing that always seem to be the most embarrassing.

"I already know that, Kura. But you didn't answer my question."

"You're persistent you know that?" I huffed, trying to keep my face from his view. Only Marik damn it. Only Marik can make my face light up like a Christmas tree…Well Except for my past self…He seems to be able to do that too…but he doesn't in an entirely DIFFERENT way…

"Yeah, and you like to avoid shit. Though I might suggest you don't get attached to him…Because once we figure all of this out Bakura he has to go back to the past."

"Yeah…I know…Funny thing is Marik, I'm starting to think the only person who can make me happy is me…"

"You always were the independent one like that. No wonder I never had a chance." Marik shook his head.

It is a rare occasion where I share any physical contact that isn't me beating the snot out of someone, but that was one of the rare emotions. I leaned off the tub and kneeled in from of Marik and wrapped my arms around him. Despite being a complete asshole and past stalker he truly was a good friend.

Now of course we all know after sharing a moment like that I had to make up for it. I looked up at Marik and he sighed.

"Go ahead Bakura, after all after every action there is an equal but opposite reaction…"

He winced when I smacked him. He knows the drill and that has always been the drill and the same works for him as well. Hey we have to maintain our psychoticness SOMEHOW.

"Damn it man…That one left a hand print."

"Hey I had a lot to make up for, now help me put my shirt on." He grumbled but obliged.

We both left the bathroom and that got us both looks. Apparently Akefia decided he wasn't going to wait and ventured out into the living room and when Marik and I arrived he was talking to Yami, which is a shocker in itself.

"So uh…" Seto looked from me to Marik and I blanched, luckily though Marik picked up where I faltered.

"I was helping him tie his bandages. Otherwise we might have been waiting all evening for him."

"What's Bakura's handprint on your face caused by?" The brunette raised an eyebrow.

"The indiscretions of my mouth." Way to go Marik for making up a MANLY lie!

"Sounds about right." Yami shook his head as Akefia looked up at me. Only I could see the look of doubt in his eyes. Damn it he makes me paranoid…Oh wait…that's really not much of a change is it?

"Anyways, are we ready to go girls, I got shopping to do and knee length boots with my name on them waiting for me!" I put both of my hands on my hip and gave every one the 'it's time to fecking SHOP' grin. Yes, I'll admit, I'm a shopping whore. I spent too many years stuck wearing Ryou's clothes…and that was scarring enough.

"Yeah I think we're ready."

"Good then let's SHOP!"

XxX

_Leo: I know, it's been a while guys. To make up for it I put some lime-ness in the beginning. Now I have a question for you, would it sway you from this story if I upped the rating to M? Because with what I'm planning I might have to. Granted I could easily get away with not doing what I plan, but I REALLY don't wanna have to go through posting all 21 plus chapters on AFFN. AFFN is obnoxious in it's uploading, unless you guys wouldn't mind hopping over to Mediaminer to read the more detailed stuff. Even then Mediaminer is annoying too. Until next update!_


	23. Pointless Conversations

_Leo: I know, I'm way over due for an update, and here's my sorry attempt to make up for it. Don't hate me, loves! Anyways, I've decided to up the rating, since you guys don't seem to mind the idea, you bunch of perverts! XD At any right, I hope you guys can forgive me for taking so long. (And forgive my mass of typos…) There wont be any serious perversion for a few more chapters I just wanted to go ahead and get the question asked!_

**Two of the Same Kind **

**Chapter 22**

Shopping equals insane glee. Well…I more or less thieve, but I count that as shopping, wouldn't you? Well even if you didn't it doesn't matter because I'm right you're wrong and that's the end of that story. That and the fact that you wouldn't argue with me would you? Come on now, be honest!

Man I sound gay…I need to stop that. While I do enjoy gawking at a random guy on the occasion I don't necessarily need the world to know. These days people find homosexuality either creepy, immoral, or just claim out anti-religious. Feh! Back in Egypt it was okay to fuck your sister! So I really don't think it should be that big of a deal. Besides I make my attempts not to openly ACT gay so those homophobic bastards don't get all squirmy…Okay actually sometimes I act gay on purpose just for that reason, but that's voiding the point. Why am I talking about this? And how the hell did I stray topics THIS early? Fuck, I usually at least get a page in first….I think I'm losing my touch.

Seto was so kind as to bring his limo, and we willingly stockpiled into it. I watched Marik and Yami from the corner of my eye. They were back to acting like nothing ever happened. Go figure. It would take a little more pushing. Those two always were entirely TOO stubborn. My eyes then shifted over to Seto and Jou, who were engaging in a quiet conversation that resulted in those love sick puppy eyed looks from Jou. Suddenly I felt like this was some sort of triple date and involuntarily squirmed.

"You okay?" I looked up to be faced with a crimson pair of red eyes, my own.

"Yeah…My wound itches that's all," I lied, but apparently WAY back then I was incredibly dense, or plain just didn't care, which really both were feasible possibilities.

"Just say something if it gets too much, I'm sure, your Priest buddy will help you."

"You can still call him Seto." I replied, clawing at a different subject.

"Name's still the same?"

"Yep, and still damn good looking too. You should see him in a tie." I smirked making a little gesture to visually remind Akefia exactly what a tie was.

"You know, I CAN understand Egyptian Bakura, and I CAN hear you." The CEO's voice carried through the limo. He gave me the arced eyebrow look.

"Oh I know, I just like to make you blush." I stuck my tongue out and he rolled his eyes, but with out a doubt he was indeed blushing! Man, I'm good.

But before my victory was taken too far the limo came to a screeching halt, sliding sideways, which sent me and Akefia flying, respectively into Yami and Marik's laps. Poor Jou ended up crunched between Seto and the back of the seat behind the driver.

"Okay WHY the hell did you stop!" Seto growled, as the window between the passengers and the driver lowered.

"Sorry Mister Kaiba. Some kid just ran out in the middle of the street. I don't know where he ran off to but if it's any consolation we DIDN'T hit him." The driver spoke and apologized many times in between sentences.

"Very well, try not to let it happen again." An agitated response but controlled enough NOT to chew off the poor man's face. That's Seto for you.

"Oh my I never thought there would be a time in my life that I would end up with my head in your lap Pharaoh! I stand to be corrected!" I snorted sitting up and mentally cackling as the Pharaoh's face changed colors.

"Get off, you moron!" He stuttered as I sat up, snorting to myself.

"Ah you're such a pansy, pharaoh."

"How does not wanting your head in my lap make me a pansy!"

"I dunno, I just figured I haven't insulted your for a while and it would be best if I broke my record. I can't have you going on to believe I'm turning nice."

"Yes that would be too much…" He rolled his eyes at me.

Silence took over for a while as no one knew what to say. And poor Jou wouldn't understand anything spoken in Ancient Egyptian. I seriously think Seto needs to get him lessons on learning Coptic…Okay, maybe that wouldn't be so easy, but perhaps he could translate? Eh…it sucks to fluently speak a language only few know. But there was this really AWESOME experience I had at a museum in one of those hard to pronounce and spell Japanese towns where I went with Ryou on a field trip and there was a guy working for the museum who knew Coptic! It was SO AWESOME! Because I totally blew everyone away, including the museum worker, by talking fluently in it. It was great. Modern people are funny.

"So…what are we doing again?" Akefia asked breaking the dead stagnant silence.

"We're going to teach you the marvels of the modern world, starting with the wonders of the shopping mall. Oh someone remind me to get some cotton candy later on." I replied.

"Dare we ask why?" Seto quirked an eyebrow at me.

"You don't wanna know." I wiggled my eyebrows at him and he looked away as his face changed colors again. "But seriously, just remind me!"

"Fine, you freak."

"Oh Seto you know you love me, deep down inside!"

"Stop reminding me." Seto rolled his eyes but stopped when his cell phone rang. He reached into his pocket and flipped the phone open. "Kaiba."

He amuses me with his phone answering. I mean seriously. He's just lucky I was never the creepy type to say something like "what are you wearing?". Because both he and his brother answer the phone the same and when your phone sounds like it spawned the static god, then you really can't tell the difference in brothers…That would have been awkward…

"Mokuba? …What…what's that noise in the background?"

Speaking of the younger Kaiba.

"…You're in MEXICO?"

"What's a 'Mexico'?" Akefia whispered to me.

"It's a country like on the other side of the world."

"I though the world was flat?"

"You were reading my Coptic history translations again weren't you?"

"…I got very bored when you were gone…you see…."

Kaiba's face was steadily paling as he realized, like we had been talking, that Mokuba was half way around the world.

"Yeah Mokuba, I trust you, but….Mokuba I'm not mad. Why didn't you TELL ME? I know you have good guards. But I'm your FAMILY….YOU'RE IN MEXICO! That's important! …Okay okay…Fine I will. Have fun, but next time TELL ME!" He looked up at me. "Okay I will. Bye." He hung up his phone.

"Kid brother trouble?" I asked even thought it was CLEALR obvious. I like to be obvious sometimes.

"Yeah…I swear he's acting more and more like you."

"Well that's your fault you gave me time to corrupt him to my wicked ways."

"Oh please Bakura you only ACT tough."

"Say a word more and I'll teach your brother how to carve a statue of a cat out of a human skull." I throatily growled in warning. .

"Surely that wasn't an indirect threat?"

"No, I thought it was pretty direct."

"Anyways," He rolled his eyes. "Mokuba is bringing you back a Sombrero."

"Fucking sweet!"

"What's a 'Sombrero'?" Akefia asked. Oh boy I didn't know how long I would be able to tolerate all of the questioning, but I really couldn't hold it against him, if I were him, which technically I am, I would have asked the same question.

"It's a hat."

Silence reigned again. For the group of psychos that we are, we seemed to have a hard enough time keeping a steady conversation going.

"So exactly WHERE are we going in this trip?" Marik yawned, which spawned a yawn out of Yami, then subsequently one from me.

"Stop it with the YAWNING! Everyone knows it's contagious!" I yawned.

"Sorry!"

"No you're not! You rotten bastard!"

"…You're right, I'm not, but come on Bakura, what kind f bad ass would I be if I wasn't a rotten bastard?"

"Point."

"Is it just me or does this conversation seem pointless?" Yami rolled his eyes, yawning again, and then sending a glare to Marik for being the initiator.

"Is it just me or do ALL our conversations seem pointless?" Akefia mumbled.

"They are, you don't have to worry about questioning that. Bleh, Jou you haven't said anything…" I spoke in Japanese, looking at the blonde who looked like he was spacing out.

"Hm? Oh I can't understand any of what you guys are saying…" He looked down sheepishly.

I stood up, well as best I could in a limo, and pulled Seto from his seat, pushing him into where I was sitting and then I sat next to Jou. "Now Jou-baby! Tell Bakura what's on your mind!"

"Dude, you sound like a creepy mix between a mafia man and a psychiatrist."

"…I tend to have that effect on people." I said placing a finger to my chin and glancing away briefly. By doing so I noticed the irritable looked I'd caused to form on Seto's fine features. "So…Jou, you know Seto better than I, judging by that look on his face, how long do you think I have to live?" I spoke, knowing full well that Seto could hear. Large or not, a limo is a limo and that doesn't leave a lot of room for REALLY private conversations. …Except perhaps the one Marik and Yami were having in each other's ears. All I know about that is I heard a lot of snickering and probably perverted comments.

"…Hmmm…it's hard to tell, maybe between three and six minutes?"

"Sweet I still have enough time to molest you then."

"Bakura…."

"Oh RELAX Seto! I'd only bone YOU in a limo!"

"BAKURA!"

"WHAT? You're SO demanding!" I huffed and Jou did a thing between a giggle and a snort, which I will from here on out refer to as a gigglesnort, why? Because I can. I'm Bakura. Don't argue with my pwnsomeness. Yes I just said pwnsome. Why? Well because it sounds cool, but that's not the point (which was 'because I can'). I can get away with what ever I want! Haw, haw! And you can't do nothing to stop me! And I Just totally used double negatives? Why? …Heh, you get the picture.

"You're such a pain…" Seto sighed, but he was smiling so I was still in the clear with him. Ah, he loves me and he knows it.

"Uh so guys, like I'd asked, and was steadfastly ignored," Marik spoke up, "Where are we going?"

"To hell if we don't change our ways." I snorted, and Jou giggled. I made it certain that at least part of the conversation would be understandable by him. It wasn't fair for him to be left out because of language barriers. Of course by doing this I got the 'what did you say?' look from Akefia.

"Smart ass." Marik rolled his obnoxiously beautiful eyes. (I are jealous. So much I even used improper grammar.)

"Actually," Seto spoke up. "We're here…"

"FINALLY!" I cheered.

xXx

_Leo: One thing I must say, and I swear on my life, when I wrote the yawn part, AFTER I wrote it I yawned twice! And I wasn't even tired! I'm telling you they are CONTAGIOUS! _

_And I just want to say, for those of you still reading this, you PWN. I realize that there still aren't many Gemini shipping fics out there and I should seriously work on this one more if not only for that fact. (If anyone has come across another multi-chapter Gemini-shipping, tell me!) (Gives you all cookies for waiting so patiently) _

_And can you really believe that this is only the second day in this story? I just spend a whole chapter on the car ride! The fuck? Will this story ever END?_

_…Probably not…_


	24. Are you thinking?

**Two of the Same Kind  
Chapter 23**

So thus we arrived, into the place where people are made happy and freaks like me could easily blow fifteen thousand dollars in ten minutes if I actually USED money...The mall of course! Though I much prefer the showing district that runs along the street down the road (which is where we would end up without a doubt, because I'm pushy like that you see.)

...This is where I stop and take a moment to try and remember where I was going with this story...hmmm...I'm trying to remember here...hey this was a while ago okay! Give me a freaking break! 3000 plus years will make your memory a little...spritzy... The fuck? Spritzy isn't a registered word on my Microsoft Word? Oh COME ON! Spritzy is a word right? Right? Oh fuck you Microsoft! (Omigod I'm kidding don't sue me Mr. Gates! Not even Kaiba could bail me out of that one!)

Okay I remember what happened...A little cursing always jogs the memory...(Yes that was total BS but you will buy it, you will like it, and you will ask for more, are we clear?) We were in the mall, and GUESS who we ran into? Just guess! No I INSIST!

...Oh it doesn't matter you would have been wrong anyways for the basic fact that NO one would have wanted to believe it and thus forth that would not have considered it possible...who am I talking about? Oh yes, Friendship bitch and her little pals, Serenity, Mai and Malik's sister...Wait...why is Isis with them! Isis is actually...ALRIGHT... I won't say COOL per say...but she's OKAY. Okay FINE I think she's cool...Are you happy now?

"Well if it isn't Mister Kaiba." Isis greeted.

"How wonderful to see you." Seto twitched as the level of sarcasm broke into the red alert stage.

"Hey guys! Haven't seen you in a LONG while! I figured you guys were busy since you didn't return phone calls! How is Yugi? And Malik and Ryou? You guys seem frustrated is something wrong? You can tell me!"

"Stop talking or I'll kill myself...Anzu..." I moaned wanting to slam my head in a door. Does this chick ever have a BAD DAY? I mean I can't remember the last time she plain out told people to go die...She's always backing her friends yet doing NOTHING! I MEAN OH MY GOD! She has a fucking Shining Friendship card! How much more mentally frizzled can you POSSIBLY be!

"Oh, well don't do that Bakura. But if you want to talk about what's wrong you know I'm here for you!"

I leaned back to look at Marik, who gave me a "Wanna kill her now or save her for later when we're alone and can massacre her in the utmost violent and absolutely disgusting ways with no one to intervene?" look. I SWEAR on my life that's what that look said...

"Dude, I will give you ten bucks right now if you plain out deck her..." He whispered to me.

"Uh, uh buddy I want MORE than ten bucks for touching that..." Yes I know it's only a quick swing and deck, but that still requires hand to face contact!

"My god Bakura, you're such a pansy."

"Shut up you mother f-"

"Something wrong?" Anzu butt in and I bit my tongue. I growled and cursed very loudly. Isis rolled her Blue Egyptian eyes. Bitch. Sometimes I despised her... Okay that was a blatant lie...FUCK YOU MAN! Of course I mean it with love...I would NEVER be spiteful...No of course not...NOT ME!

"I think you're getting on his nerves Anzu." Jounouchi kindly butted in before I unleashed my rage on her and killed her in public, and we all know I would do it too. Wouldn't you? And don't lie, I just won't listen to you if you disagree!

"I didn't ask you Jounouchi, besides you get on MY nerves..." She crossed her arms almost acting like an angry teenage cheerleader prep...Oh wait...I think you get the gist.

"Yes and you HIT me...I don't ALWAYS do obnoxious things... Don't blame me because you're a bitch..." Whoa, brownie points to Jounouchi! I wanted to hug him so badly, but I get the feeling that after my display earlier; that Seto might slice me into little ribbons and use me as his shoe laces...Kinda kinky...and sexy in a creepy way...

"I am NOT!"

"He's right Anzu, you're annoying..." I snorted. My attention was dragged away by Akefia pulling on my sleeve. I forgot he couldn't understand Japanese... Fucking A man I better have been a quick learner in the past. He blinked at me then looked at Anzu. I responded with a blink, a look at Anzu, and finalized with rolling my eyes to Akefia. He understood it just like I knew he would. Eye language for "Anzu is annoying bitch." Eye language is awesome...I'm really good at it...Especially with Marik, he always understands what I mean!

"So I see that you've still not managed to fix your...problem..." Isis stated looking at me, then looking over to...me... I sighed and nodded, "Though it could have been worse..."

"Two of you know who?" She responded nodding slightly to Anzu.

"Yeah..."

"Yes...that WOULD have been worse all right..."

You know I simply LOVE it when there's this very brief moment of complete un-denied comprehension...You know just for the single instance I felt like I was talking to someone who was worthy of my attention...Then again...Isis DOES have that effect...She may be bland as shit usually...But I sure can get to talking all intelligent with her...As rare as that is anyways...Stop rolling your eyes you bitch face I CAN be SMART! And if you weren't rolling your eyes then...well...I dunno, I'm paranoid...deal with it...Hmmm...which reminds me I need to get her phone number again...That way I can have someone to bitch to about Marik and visa versa.

"So what are YOU of all people doing here?" I questioned, making very discreet efforts to ignore the arguing morons outside of our conversation.

"I'm here because of Mai. Though I wish she would get better friends..." The Egyptian woman sighed, and I suddenly felt the need to take pity on her.

"You know, you could ALWAYS come over and spend the week end with us...I mean I can gather Baka Pharaoh, the hikaris, Seto and Jou and we can totally put dresses on and be pretty and stuff...I like to cross dress occasionally...OH! I'm just dead sexy in a corset! And if that don't work for ya, we can always go in the back yard and set up a knife fighting arena...Marik and I will play..."

"I wouldn't know whether to enjoy myself or hang myself Bakura...Possibly a combination of the two no?"

"Oh most likely...But darling, if you so desire it, I Bakura the gallant Knight in white, shall expel the horror that is known as Anzu from the plane of physical existence ...As long as you promise to cook me some more of that Lasagna you cooked last week."

"Oh so it was YOU who stole the leftovers from our refrigerator? And here I was blaming Marik on that one..."

"Heh..."

"Hey, let's get going before we miss all the good stuff!" Baka pharaoh called and I rolled my eyes...if any one can compete with me in a match of shopping wits, it is the Pharaoh himself...Though he's a little bit more honorable than I...Because I'm an asshole...I think we've all decreed that to be the plainest of plainest truths...I have no idea what that meant but it sounded cool and made me look smart, so don't hail on my parade.

"Why don't you, come with us? I mean surely you guys can stealth-fully ditch dip shit one and two? And don't tell me you would feel weird around all of us sexy gay men...because I'm sure you've done some pretty rotten things to that pretty blonde lady of yours, eh miss Isis?" I prodded. For what ever reason girls seem more shy about admitting they're with a partner of the same sex...It don't matter to me...as long as my personality isn't being clashed I'm A OKAY!

"Bakura..."

"Come on!"

"Ya know hon, I think Bakura's offering us salvation." Speak of the devil and she shall appear. Mai blew a kiss at Isis, who blushed deep red in her dark skinned cheeks. "Besides, ain't Bakura just the cutest thing? I just wanna tuck you in a dress and display you like a doll!"

"Now THAT'S kinky! And you're looking mighty fine today too, milady!" I winked. Now I'll admit, I do think Mai is a bitch...and somewhat of a slut...But that's why I like her! She's devious at heart...I know it!

"Jesus Bakura, are you gay or what? Come on, let's just go while that bitch and Shizuka are ...distracted..." He pointed and we all took into great account that they were talking to someone they apparently knew at school...I think Ryou called her Miho...or Miko...or...I don't fucking know but she has Purple hair...that's all I know...I think...That KINDA looked navy blue...I wasn't paying attention to be completely honest...then again when am I completely honest? Oh wait...FUCK I forgot what I was saying!

"Yes I think now would be a perfect time!" I said with over the top enthusiasm and grabbed both girls by the arm and dragged them around the corner with us. The entire time I glanced back and forth to Akefia who looked a little irritated...then again I would too if I felt I was being left out of something...Especially when it looked like everyone was having fun. "I shall return with more of my irrefutable charm!" Heh, irrefutable is a funny word...Hee hee...

I very smoothly slide next to Akefia as our ever so growing group continued to move alone...And by SMOOTHLY I mean I tripped over my foot smacked my head against the outward corner as we turned and then moments later tripped into a potted plant...Yes, very smooth Bakura...The Matrix has you now...

"You're mad at me aren't you?" I reverted dialects so he would be able to comprehend me.

"No, I just don't know why you brought me..." He looked away with a scowl. He wasn't very good at making people believe him when he says he NOT mad...

"I'm sorry I get carried away when I'm among people who can tolerate my assholishness...Besides...Isis knows Egyptian too! And don't be such a downer...I need a co-conspirator!"

"For what?" He blinked at me.

"For when I take over the world of course! ...But then again I DO have a nine out of ten chance of having my ass handed to me by the LUCK OF THE DRAW!" I grumbled loudly and Yami stuck his tongue out to me.

"I'm confused..." Akefia looked at me with a half lidded expression. "Why is it that you two don't seem to very much HATE each other... I despise the Pharaoh I know...But you and him haven't tried to slit each other's throats yet..."

"Oh THAT, yeah you see we only go for throats on weekends...After all there's only so many times we can attempt it only to realize that we're dead per say and that it won't matter if we try to kill each other...because we'll both come back again and again...kinda sucks...It keeps giving me this WONDERFUL, note the sarcasm, illusion that maybe I'm destined to be at HIS side in the end..."

"I honestly can't picture that...Then again I can't picture you, myself, with anyone... I suppose what happened at Kul Elna mentally fucked us..."

"More like a gang rape..." I winced at the thought.

"You HAD to remind me of that didn't you?" He gave the same look that was worn on my own face.

"Sorry...If it's any consolation I remembered too...Though...I must say when you live for so long like this...with freedoms and not having to fight to the death just for food, you tend to not want to look back or even think about what life was like back then...I keep forgetting that you are before I experienced all of these thing that made me like I am now...As apposed to how you still are...Though it's safe to say we haven't changed much..."

"No...no really...You're just more paranoid...Oh and you might wanna..."

The words fell on deaf ears and I made friends with another corner wall. That one was ESPECIALLY friendly! So much in fact he gave me the gift of a whole fleet of stars just for my eyes and a wonderfully wrapped headache with a note attached that said, "haw haw you retard". What a way to make myself look cool...I mean...son of a bitch! Not that I'm vain or anything like that, I mean of course I could give a shit less what everyone else thought...Except for Akefia...he's important...Only because I don't want to give him the illusion that he 'grows up' to be a complete and total loser...Just like I am...Oh wait...FUCK!

"NICE one Bakura! You are just the SMOOTH hot stud today!" Yami called snickering at my misfortune.

"Com'ere Pharaoh so I can give you a kind taste of 'fist' with a side of 'foot up the ass'. And I'm wearing my FINEST boots! So it'll be HIGH QUALITY JUST FOR YOU! I'll even deliver extra quick and free of charge!"

"Oh bah, you know you wouldn't hit ME! You wouldn't want to attempt your arm verses my hair now would you?"

"Ah, you win THAT round Batman, but alas the battle has not finished yet!"

"Hah! Vile scum, I await your next challenge so that I may lay waste to you yet again!" He retorted puffing up...which in turn made him look bigger than me. Bastard...I'm still at the mental state of mind that being smaller than him feels like a fresh stab wound to my pride.

"Good play Pharaoh," I gave him my best wicked look, "But it will take more than that to frighten me!" I puffed up too, though I probably looked less intimidating that way...I looked more intimidating when I'm being natural...but for fun's sake I play along.

"You two are whole hearted freaks of nature..." Marik mumbled.

"Ah you know you love us because of it!" I smirked. "...Wow, I never thought I would include pharaoh bitch head in on that statement..."

"Ah I could have said the same, Bakura." Baka Pharaoh rolled his eyes at me. "You know, I think we need to do something to make this shopping expedition more ...fun." He looked at Akefia then back to me.

"Heh heh are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" I asked with a wicked grin.

"Well are YOU thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Oh I think I am!"

"...You guys are FREAKS, and so gay you should be embarrassed..." Marik muttered, but was promptly ignored by the two of us. Like I mentioned before, when it comes to certain things, the pharaoh and I can be VERY agreeable. Of course tomorrow we start the cycle all over and hate each other with a fiery passion that will die out by the end of the day only to reborn the next. We like to refer to it as the phoenix effect.

"Hey Akefia, how would you like to try on some clothes?" I asked with a glee that was only shared and understood by my temporary partner in crime.

"Why does that sound like a BAD thing..." He stepped back very slowly.

"Oh, don't you worry yourself! It'll be fun!"

...For US anyways! Heh heh...

xXx

_Leo: I know this story has not been updated in oh say FOREVER. But that reason was due to the fact that I've been grounded for the last month. I urge you guys to check my profile page or my website before you question why I haven't updated. I DO leave messages if I'm going to be gone for a while! Sorry about the un-eventfulness of this story! But these chapters are just a lead up to the next one, which should be better! I give you all digital cookies for being patient with me!_


	25. Realization

_Leo: Okay everyone, with me: GAAASP! Yes...I have updated! SHOCKHORRORZOMGBOBWTF! Miracles I tell you! I'm really sorry about the lack of updates guys...you'd think I'd have some motivation to keep this story going considering it's one of the few Geminishipping fics out there...Though now I'm not sure it'll end that way...The only way I can make this story work is if I change the ending pairing...which I know most of you will be like 'WTF Leo NO!' but I may just have to do it. I'm sure you guys would understand if I did. I still consider this fic Geminishipping regardless._

_Please tell me what you think! It's important guys!_

**Two of the Same Kind  
Chapter 24**

Okay so here we are, Pharaoh and I of course, decorating my past self, I guess you could say. At that moment we'd finally 'coaxed' him into a pair of black slacks. Man, those looked good. Now we were arguing over the shirt. While we CAN be agreeable, there are moments when we can't, by any means, meet eye to eye. For instance this case.

"Oh come on Bakura, the white would look so much better." The baka Pharaoh held up the white button up shirt, opposite to the black one I was holding.

"Oh PLEASE! The black one TOTALLY wins! All he'll need after that are the dress boots and shades and he'll be like sex in walking form!"

"Bakura...I'm telling you, that much black will look weird! He'll look like he just came from a freaking funeral! Or worse, he'll look like an illegal product salesman!"

"No he won't! Besides don't you know black absorbs heat better?!"

"Bakura it's almost winter and black staves OFF heat! Not absorbs it! Bright colors hold in heat! You moron! Trying to look smart again!" He rolled his eyes at me. That bitch.

"Well so what? Black looks better!"

"You were watching Jurassic Park again weren't you?"

"What?" I blinked. Caught. DAMN him and his ability to read my intentions.

"Yeah, I know that look. You only GET that look when you've watched Jurassic Park! I though we said you're not allowed to have that movie because you get stupid over that damn...GUY!"

"DAMN GUY!? That damn guy is SEXY! Not even YOU in all of your homosexual gayness can strut like he can!"

"Oh freaking please he's a nerd." He booted me away with his hip as he had all intentions to dress Akefia up in white. Oh hell no bitch!

"NERD!? What's wrong with being intellectual! You say that like it's a bad thing!"

"He ALWAYS plays a nerd in his movies! Now you want an ageless sexy man look at Mel Gibson! That's American Hotness."

"MEL GIBSON? Are you INSANE? Now if you'd have said Sean Connery I'd have approved but come on..."

"Sean Connery? He's like a hundred years old!"

"SO ARE YOU IDIOT PHARAOH! Man you've got horrible taste!"

"I'VE got horrible taste?! Your taste is worse than mine!"

"Hey ladies." Marik's voice interrupted our steady beginning conversation. We both turned to him simultaneously and glared. "Behave yourselves or I'll say the melt word."

"You wouldn't DARE!" I hissed.

"Marik!!! You're supposed to be on MY side!"

Okay just to fill you in, the 'melt' word is a word that has the single power to induce simultaneous override of the brain to produce images quite pleasing...in other words, that very word can make both of us go into fan-boy-ish daydreaming instantly.

"Don't think I won't do it..."

"You suck!" I stuck my tongue out at him and reverted my eyes to my past self. "Okay Akefia, what do you want to wear? Black or white? This way," I shot a searing glare at the pharaoh, "We'll find out whose choice is better."

"Oh please thief, you KNOW I'm right!"

"Hey Akefia, how about this? I think this would look just hot on you." Marik butted in, approaching my past self with a handsome gray button up.

"...I do like this one..." Akefia admitted and allowed Marik to help him put it on. "It's comfortable too. Hey check out the pockets. I can hide knives in them."

Yami and I stood there flabbergasted. Marik of all people won that argument! And he wasn't even part of it! What the hell!? Since when did Marik have a fashion sense anyways? Must be hanging around Malik too much. I tell you I think Malik is the only person capable of dressing himself fashionably better than the rest of us. He's got a talent for that. I like to let him pick out my clothes sometimes, because he KNOWS how to make me look sexy. Not to mention he can make anything look good. I mean he's the only guy I know who can wear a purple belly shirt and completely get away with it, while making men and women for miles drool.

"Nice attire, Akefia, was it? Who picked that out?" Isis sauntered over to us in that way that she always does. The woman walks like her feet are glass. It's kinda cool actually.

"I did." Marik grins apparently feeling very smug for his accomplishment. "I figured it was a good medium for him, not to mention I had to take my rare moment to show up these two girls here." He held out his hand indicating the subject of his taunting as the two of us.

"Well I'll be, Marik actually accomplished something." Isis snorted in a very unladylike manner.

"Oh fuck you Isis..." He pouted, giving her an indignant glare.

"That's okay Marik, I'm not into your kind."

"MY kind?! What does that mean!?"

"Marik..." The baka pharaoh cut in.

Marik glanced over at Yami who only gave him a look that was returned with another look. What the hell man? For once I had NO idea what they were meaning behind the looks...And I'm master at eye language! Well...okay I'm not a master, but I'm really good at it...Then again I'm good at a lot of things and yet I fail to accomplish anything...Like I'm an awesome thief and somehow that damn bitch of a Pharaoh wins every time...Suddenly I hate myself.

"Bakura? What's with the pitiful look you've got going on?" Jounouchi asked as he dragged Seto back over, reuniting our group, save for Mai who was probably not far away.

"What pitiful look? I'm not giving a pitiful look! Not me, I don't HAVE pitiful looks, I'm totally not feeling left out of something I should totally understand and not having and issue making sense and wondering what the fuck I'm talking about because I'm A OKAY hunky dory, ginger fucking peachy, not having any irritations and wanting to kill something for no reason what so ever, totally not wishing death upon the pharaoh because HE WINS EVERY FUCKING TIME AND I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT TO KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I CAN NEVER FUCKING WIN AND I'M NOT SUDDENLY REALIZING HOW MUCH MY LIFE SUCKS AND I HAVE NO PURPOSE IN LIFE, I'm surely not swirling in this sudden cloud of dizzying confusion and wondering what the fuck is going on! NOPE NOT me!" A took a breath. Suddenly I really was feeling dizzy. I reached out a hand to grip the first thing that would keep me from losing my balance. I'm sure Yami would have kicked my ass for touching him, if my distress wasn't so obvious.

"Bakura?"

"I don't feel so good..." I mumbled, struggling to keep on my feet. I felt Yami's hands grip my arms. For whatever reason I could barely see him anymore. He was all blurry. I blinked and my vision cleared a little.

"Bakura...what's wrong?" Yami's voice, which was usually taunting and mind graining, had a tone of concern. Never thought I'd see that day. He and I getting along. Who would have ever thought it possible.

"I'm fine...Just lightheaded...that's all."

"Well you are still wounded Bakura, you should take it easy." Seto decided to throw in an obvious 'told ya so', since he'd been giving me these peculiar 'be careful' looks the entire time.

"Oh shut up Seto..." I groaned. My stomach lurched. It was not happy with me. I was not happy with me. And suddenly I wasn't feeling so peachy and fine.

"You okay?" Akefia asked kneeling to eye level with me. Suddenly I realized what predicament we were in. I shouldn't be looking at myself. I shouldn't like the fact that now there is someone just like me, exactly like me. I shouldn't be expecting it to stay that way. I opened my mouth to say something but I bit down on my tongue. I've always been a person to stick to delusions...Hence why I tried killing the Baka Pharaoh so many times, even though it wasn't HIS fault...And trust me, it was a pain admitting that. Everything would be normal once we got Akefia and Atemu back to their rightful time. Most of me didn't want that, but the rational fraction knew that was how it would have to be.

"Yeah...I'm fine. I need to sit down." I replied, grateful for Yami's help for once. "Hey Pharaoh, be careful with me, you don't know if I have rabies or not."

"Hmm...you've bitten me before and I haven't started foaming at the mouth...of course the turning into a wolf on a full moon is irritating, but you get used to it after a while." He joked.

"Just wait til Halloween Eve. You're really in trouble then." I retorted. He only smirked. Which usually meant he was formulating something.

"How about we go grab a bite to eat? God is jealous of my riches, so it's on me." Seto offered. I knew what he was doing. He was plotting to try and get me to relax for a little before stressing myself too much. He's too damn nice sometimes. Of course that could be because of the fact that he still loves me. Obviously not in that romantic way, we're passed that, but there is some love there. Oh yeah I feel special!

"Hell if you're paying I won't say no!" I replied. If he was gonna make the attempt, I'd at least pretend to fall for it. I'm nice like that you know.

"Good! Now all we gotta do is find Mai." Jounouchi mumbled looking around and then I noticed the she-devil he spoke of. She was standing right behind him, grinning like the wicked vixen that she is. I must say I love it when the girl does that to Jou. I love Jou to death but he's funny as shit when he gets all spooked and flustered and what not.

"HEY Jou!" She grabbed his shoulders and shouted in his ear. He spazzed. And he spazzed hard, flailing his arms about and shrieking like someone just caught his ass on fire. Oh he's just so funny to watch.

I watched him acting like a doofus for a moment or two and I noticed that Akefia was talking to Seto. I had to wonder what they were talking about, but I guess I wasn't feeling dick-ish enough to eavesdrop or possibly the arm that snaked around my waist from the side, in the same manner that you might see two people walking along a mall strip do. A casual, yet endearing action. This may sound stupid, but I recognized that hand and I looked over in question.

"Hey guys we're gonna catch up with you in a second." The arm's owner announced to the others and then turned to me, "tell me what's wrong Bakura. I'll listen."

"Pharaoh...wh-"

"Shut it." He replied walking me off in a random direction, looking as homosexual as ever in such a pose, but you know I didn't care. The fact that he wasn't chastising me was enough I guess. "Now talk. It's not like you to act in the way you have."

"I don't know. What's there to tell."

"You've got a wound in your side and you're standing in a mall. That's not like you. At all. You're a dumb ass Bakura, but you're not a dumb ass who ignores his health."

"You're a very charming man you know that right." I gave him a not so endearing frown.

"I'm serious. You're acting weird. I don't like it. For god's sake I made face with Marik and you didn't react nearly what you should have! Or normally would have!"

"Oh you underestimate me. I'm still in shock about you making out with Marik."

"Please, be serious for once! Bakura, you're really worrying me and Marik." I stopped and looked at him. It was freaky looking into the same eyes that once wanted to see me disappear forever in the abysmal void of the shadow realm and see concern.

"I don't know okay. Maybe I'm realizing just how little my live actually means...It's not easy to admit you're useless to everything in general."

"That's not true Bakura. You're not useless. You only feel useless because that's what you've made yourself believe. I'm just as useless as you if that's the case. You don't have to be useful. Just enjoy what you have, you know? Granted that probably helped you zero, but it's something to think about."

As much as it wounds me to say it. He was right. He was very right. Holding on to something because it made me feel important was a stupid idea. I sighed and glanced over to my past self. He made me feel useful. Why I don't know. But he did and it was then I remembered that he was me. If he could make me feel useful then why couldn't I make me feel useful? And then I overworked my brain and stopped thinking about it. But after all brain crashing was finished I realized one large sucky fact.

Akefia had to be sent back.

**To be Continued...**

_Leo: I know, it's short. So sue me guys. Just be thankful I actually got around to it. I know there are probably typos and I've probably fallen out of sync with the rest of the story, but I'm trying my damndest to get back into this series if only to finish this story. I can't promise there will be a whole lot more to it. But I plan to finish it by chapter 30. I'm getting into my FFVII story a lot more and that one actually has a real concrete plot that wasn't thought up in ten minutes (coughlikethisstorycough). Anyways. Many apologies guys. If the prospect of a pair changing goes over well I may end up writing a new chapter a little sooner. Other wise I've a few things to sort out._


	26. Perfection in Humanish Form

**Two of the Same Kind**  
Chapter 25

"You know, they're going to wonder what happened to us." The baka Pharaoh said at his place across the table from me. We sat down in the cafeteria area of the mall at a small café looking table. Hey, would ya look at that...a 'café' table...in a 'café'teria! Isn't that just spiffy! (Yes, I'm just finding reasons to use the letter with that neat little accent mark on it. I'm easily amused. Bite me.)

"Yeah, but you were the one who dragged me off." I replied with a snort, sucking down my large ice coffee.

"Ah, fine, have your way." He rolled his eyes and threw and ice cube at me, of which I ducked under.

"Your aim lacks, baka Pharaoh," I snickered at him. "So, what's going on with you and Marik?" I finally asked what was going through my mind for a while.

"Eh? Ah, I knew eventually you would ask." He sighed. "It was a dare actually."

"A dare?! But you were acting all funny in the limo!"

"That was a total inside joke."

"You're bullshitting me!"

"Prove it."

"...You heinous biznitch. I'll figure out what you're up to!"

"'Biznitch?'"

"Don't make me Spork you."

"You make less and less sense the longer I know you. I can only imagine what eternity is going to warp you into. One day I picture you frothing at the mouth and going paroxysms of gibberish that even I won't be able to make out."

"Your vocabulary is growing more extensive, Pharaoh."

"Don't make me use the really petrifying words."

I smiled. Stupid things like this were always mood lighteners. He was one of the few good people at doing that. When I was around Marik I usually felt like smashing something. Of course that was fun too, but still. Or better, when I was with Ryou I felt like grabbing something fuzzy and hugging it. I need a puppy. No, I want a puppy. A cute fuzzy creature, preferably brown, that will love me when I'm upset and bite the shit out of me when I'm feeling particularly out of it. I want him to be small too. I like small puppies. You'd think I would be a cat person. Naw, cats are too self-centered. They remind me of me and I don't like that. Dogs are loyal and stupid. Kinda like Jounouchi. Oh...that was mean, I take that back. I like Jou. Maybe I should get a dog and name it Yami. He would be flattered...Then again if a car hit the puppy, I would be moping around crying: "YAAAMI NOOO," and that just wouldn't do. I know! I'll name it Seto! Then Jounouchi would have something to use against him! That's what I'll do.

"Bakura!" Pharaoh's voice broke through my thoughts and I suddenly remembered where I was.

"It's a brown puppy!" I snapped without thinking.

"...Please don't make me ask."

"Okay," I coughed stupidly. I folded my legs under me in the chair and leaned my head on the table. "So Pharaoh, what are we going to do when they go back?"

"Depends. For you, probably mope and whine because your past self was actually cool; for me, I'll probably buy a cake to celebrate my past self being gone."

"You don't eat cake. And you're allergic to icing."

"You shouldn't know that."

"Oh? What's my biggest fear?"

"Having a bat nest in your hair, why?" He paused to consider that chance that maybe we know a lot more about each other than we generally take time to notice. "...Ohhh...I see what you're getting at."

"You really hate your past self?" I looked up at him and he gave a melancholy smile.

"He makes me realize a thing or two that I may have not really believed before. I was a prick back then, wasn't I?"

"A bit."

"Then again, you weren't as charming then as you are now."

"Are you hitting on me?" I snorted.

"Just making a generalized statement. You've calmed down a lot."

"Don't make me call upon my super powers. Which basically consist of me calling my deck of cards to get my ass stomped by you, once again."

"You never had a chance of beating me, Bakura, and you know it." He smirked in a very haughty manner.

"You just wait Yami. I'll defeat you yet. Once I figure out your hair's weakness, I promise, you'll never know what hit you."

"It has not weakness!" He gloated with a smirk.

I snorted, he was probably telling the truth. I once reached over to steal a card from him and his front locks bit my hand. I swear on my life I SAW his hair move. I chuckled to myself. I felt a little better. My life still seemed abysmal but at least I wasn't the only morbidly borderline emo around. God...I'm borderline emo. This is horrible. I'm gonna go kill myself because I can't allow this to happen. Wait a minute...wouldn't I be even more emo by doing so...? Son of a bitch I never win!

"Damn it I'm not emo!" I whined aloud. I seemed to have lost my ability of internal dialogue.

"...I'm just gonna pretend I never heard anything, so that I don't have to ask what the hell you were just talking about."

"Probably in your best interest." I responded. "Hey, baka, you...erm...th...meh..."

"You're welcome, dickhead."

I glanced off, knowing for once he'd beaten me. Well, okay maybe not for once, but for yet another time. But this time was different. This time it involved me almost saying 'thank you'. ALMOST! That's closer than the last time where I 'almost CONSIDERED' saying it. This is horrible. Utterly terrifying.

"You know thief, you're really not such a bad guy."

"And you're not such a good guy yourself."

He shook his head with a snort. Heh, he snorted. He's picking up my habits. "I'd better get you back before Kaiba thinks I've kidnapped you."

"Isn't that something I would do, kidnapping that is?" I asked watching him stand up. He grabbed my arm and pulled me from the seat.

"Come on, I'm not having a stubborn CEO crawl up my ass because you're out to get me." He explained. True, Seto did have a habit to make certain that I was well taken care of, but even still, that baka pharaoh could barely harm me when I was his enemy! Wait...does that mean we're frie...NO!

"Hey wait! Ice Coffeeeeeee..." I whined reaching for my coffee like it was my lifeline. (Well, if you must know, it was my lifeline. And if you don't like it then you can just EAT me.) He calmly walked me back and allowed me to grab my delicious iced Coffee before he continued to drag me toward the small restaurant where the others would be. We walked in and looked around. We didn't see them off hand, which really wasn't that much of a surprise considering it was a party of about 20. Okay, slight exaggeration, but not that far off if you add about twelve.

"Excuse me, ma'am, we're looking for our party, they came in before us." Yam-bleh-Pharaoh asked to the nearest hostess.

"Ah, yours is the large group, yes?"

"How'd you know?" I asked slithering up next to Baka Pharaoh while sipping my coffee.

"The gentleman said to look out for a suspicious albino and a man with hair that resembles fire crackers."

"Damn you Kaiba." Pharaoh muttered. "He thinks that's funny."

"Oh shush, you think it's funny too, and you know it." I whispered in his ear.

"Well...yes...but...shut up, you suspicious albino!" He turned his attention back on the kind and patient hostess, "Could you please tell us where they're at? I don't want to bother you further."

"They're in the back, dear. On the left side of the server's door."

"Thank you!" I waved, deciding I would be the one to drag that obnoxious man with firecracker hair. I looped my arm in his and casually sipped my Coffee.

"You're making a scene."

"On purpose of course!" I smiled in such a manner that resembled barely innocent. I have a hard time with innocent smiles. I have sharp teeth and evil looking hair. What the fuck do you want from me? Hey, don't sass me, I could have Marik's hair and be damned eternally from wearing hats. "Hey guys!" I smiled brightly despite having just had a minor-slight breakdown.

"You seem better now." Marik commented, "Did swapping fashion tips make you ladies feel closer?"

Pharaoh huffed, "Jealousy, is like, an ugly thing, bitch-head."

I died. I just up and died of laughter at the very concept of the Pharaoh even SPEAKING in that voice let alone the words. I grabbed Seto's shoulder for support and added in a few 'ow's to reaffirm that my wound still hurt. The hand wave he added only made me laugh harder and I was fighting for air, much like Marik who was howling at the concept himself. Hell even Akefia snorted in amusement. And I remember what a stick up the ass I was. Maybe that's why I'm preferably homo. I had a stick up there for so long I started to like it...That's just wrong Bakura, why would you even think things like that? Fuck you conscience. Wait, I don't have a conscience...Hey...the word 'science' is in conscience...oh and 'con' too. So it's like the Science of Con. Like con as in 'swindle'? Wait...what the fuck? That makes no sense!

"Bakura you're talking to your conscience again." Seto announced once it was realized my laughter had died to profuse chuckling.

"...Oh, sorry!" I smiled. Pharaoh had slid in next to Mark and I decided to be the pain in the ass and literally hop the large 'u' shaped booth and squeeze myself next to my past self. "Hey sexy, what's cooking?"

"You, I believe, and if you don't stop looking so good I may just have to eat you!"

"Oh how you flatter me so, you're so much better looking than I!"

"No, not at all! You're truly the visual work of art!"

"I have nothing on you of course!"

"It shows how little you know!"

"Somebody please stop the egotism." Marik interrupted by smacking his forehead loudly against the table. "We know you're both painfully hot and perfection in human-ish form, but come on, do you have to be both painfully hot and perfection in human-ish form out loud and at the same time?"

"Don't make Yami repeat the 'jealousy' line." I smirked pointing to the Pharaoh and trying to refrain from laughing myself straight into a coma.

"Bitch-head." He snorted and I laughed outright.

"So, what was the holdup, guys?" Jou asked munching on a cheese stick. I ogled the cheese stick and I grabbed half of it from him. He pouted and chewed his half of our shared cheese stick. I love cheese sticks. One of the modern world's greatest inventions next to sliced bread and the Internet. God, I fucking love the Internet. It's almost as awesome as coffee. Coffee is like liquid God.

"Nothing much, he was just itching to hog all my attention, that and I think he wanted the password to my online accounts and was secretly trying to wheedle the possible answers out of me."

"If I want to look at porn, Bakura, I'll get my own username thank you." Pharaoh smirked.

"Oh sick burn, Pharaoh." Marik snorted.

"Hey, hey, hey, I do not look at porn online! I have satellite for that. So, what's on the lunch menu? You know I can't live off cheese sticks!"

"That is the most blatant lie I believe I've ever heard you say, Bakura." Seto folded is arms and arched an eyebrow at me.

"Don't you raise your eyebrow at me, Kaiba!" I can't pull off sounding stern very well, so as a result it came out like a muffled snort. "Okay fine, I could live off cheese sticks...but I don't want to! I want more food!"

"You're so needy." Seto rolled his eyes at me, but at the same time hailed a waitress. Sometimes I really missed Seto. I almost regret giving him to Jounouchi, but in the long run, it would be stupid to do. I would easily outlive Seto. Why not just give the hot millionaire to someone who loves him enough to probably swallow a gallon of bug killer. Granted I would do that too...But I can't die. Jou can.

"Well since you were taking your sweet ass time with the Pharaoh—and don't even tell me what you were doing I don't want to know—I ordered for you." Marik smirked, like he'd accomplished something.

"If it's Puffer fish I'm not eating it." I said, only to be echoed by the Pharaoh. I looked over at him with an expression that probably mirrored the 'what the fuck' look on his face.

"Okay, seriously guys, you've got to stop that reading each other's minds thing. It's freaking me out." Marik coughed and eyed both of us curiously.

"You and me both," Akefia said in perfect Japanese. Pharaoh and I looked over at Akefia, startled. He had spoken Japanese. He didn't know Japanese. What the fuck?! Akefia had a haughty smug on his face. I guess he finally got to be the center of attention for a moment, but damn that was a reason for sure. Took me by surprise.

"How the hell?"

"I had help." He said in Japanese but a bit choppier this time. He pointed to Isis on his left. I leaned in front of Akefia and eyed the Egyptian woman. She looked down at me with her head still high and a righteous grin so delicately visible on her lips. If I weren't gay and she weren't either, then I would so chase after her. Then again I don't know how much I could stand to hear about the Pharaoh and his damn prophecies. It's bad enough I see him every Tuesday to get my ass handed to me on a brass TV dinner stand in whatever game chosen for the week. Yugi's nice though; he makes sandwiches. Yes, shut up, I hang out with the Pharaoh and his twerp, it's Ryou's fault! (That and I like Yugi's sandwiches…) Hey, at least I don't sleep over at the Game Shop…Oh wait, shit that's a lie. Fine you know what I don't care! I will win one day! In fact, I'm gonna steal Pharaoh's Dark magician plush next time I'm over there. (Mainly because I want it…)

Damn me, and my lacking train of thought. My god my attention span is practically not existent these days. That's what comes of age. You lose your freaking mind! I snapped out of my short reverie and blinked at Isis. "You're corrupting me, are you?"

"That depends upon the terms of corrupting you, Bakura." She said smoothly.

"Oh you crafty woman! So you've taught him a little Japanese?"

"A little, I figured if he's anything like you, then he would learn very quickly! After all, he's younger, so his mentality is sharper than yours, which must account for something."

I clutched my chest in a fake motion of hurt, "I'm wounded by your evaluation of my mentality, my lady! I get an A for effort though, yes?"

"I give you an F, for Full of Shit." Marik chimed in just about the time our waitress came to the table.

"I see you've found your missing party members!" She said cheerfully, "Our bus boy is on his way out, so if there's anything else I can get you before your food arrives please let me know!"

"Hey, there sweetness can I get a coffee with some ice in it? And Firecracker head over there," I pointed to the Pharaoh, "wants some good ol' lemonade if you've got it!" I smiled my good smile and she blushed, nodded and went on her way.

"Ooooh, I'd throw my fork at you if you hadn't gotten my drink right!" Pharaoh scowled.

"I know you, dipshit."

"You know the week's almost over, right?"

"Yeah, we have to go back to hating each other with full strength on Monday." I snorted. Such a weird system we have.

Our food man arrive and I wanted to kiss him I was so hungry! (And he was pretty good looking, but we're not counting that.) The man put my plate before me and I squealed. Behold a true treat that I usually never get unless I'm a good boy for a long time. A nice big, barely cooked steak! Oh freaking yes. Sure hikari makes me steak, but he always insists it be thoroughly cooked. The bus boy left having serves all of us. I bounced for a moment then crawled across Jou's lap, then Seto's, grabbed Marik and kissed him, tongue and all. I could hear Seto scowling, since I was—after all—parked in his lap in order to do this action. I quietly retreated back to my position.

"Damn it all, man. If buying you a steak is all I have to do to get tongue out of you then you should have told me a long time ago!"

"Buy him a Mocha Latte and he'll probably throw down with you in the middle of the store." Pharaoh suggested in Marik's ear and I shrieked at him.

"You traitor!"

"I learned from the best." He grinned evilly at me.

"You've not won this round yet," I declared pointing my fork at him. "It's two of me against one of you!"

"Cheater."

"I am the best! How about that!"

"Fine, you get the point for that one, you whiny little bitch." Pharaoh muttered.

"You two are strange," Akefia commented. We had been talking Japanese, so I bet it was awkward for him to listen. I'm sure he picked up a few words, but Pharaoh and I are hyper talkers, usually and sometimes everyone else can't understand us when we get talking too fast. Marik usually gives up after about five minutes, so Akefia was probably floating in words that mean about as much to him as Swahili means to me. Absolutely nothing! What? You think I know Swahili? I'm THE definition of white! Do you think I know any African language! Come on! ….Wait…I'm from Africa…Son of a bitch I can't win!

"You have no idea, Akefia darling." I smiled, cutting my steak, "There are some things I could tell you right now that would have you in tears in laughter, not to mention ruin your opinion of the Pharaoh no matter what direction you look at."

"Hey, hey, hey, don't even start on me! There's more shit on you than any one else! After all you're the one who thought you could dry off a hamster in the microwave!"

"…Well…technically, you can."

"Violently, if nothing else." Seto sipped his drink and nodded. He couldn't deny it. After all, it was his microwave I did it in.

"Ah Akefia, just ignore him, besides, just wait until I get a chance to share my stories with you. Then we'll see who's the more damaged opinion."

"Oh quit hitting on me Pharaoh!"

"Technically I am hitting on 'you', aren't I?"

"I always knew you had a strange affliction Pharaoh, but keep to the less tanned prey!" I said pointing at Akefia and his darker skin.

"So, you'd rather I start with you directly?" He raised an eyebrow and looked up at me while he blew on his soup to cool it down.

I felt a momentary flush of blood in my face. Damn it. He got me there. Legitimately too. The bastard. I looked at Marik, who couldn't restrain his snickering, "oh you shut up!"

"Hey, don't sass me! You didn't tell him no!"

Damn it. He's right. I didn't! "Oh just eat your damn food!" I said threatening him with a fork.

"Speaking of, good choice in entrées Marik, it's good." Pharaoh said to Marik but continued to visually tease me with eye language. Damn bastard figured out my eye language code! I'll have to change it now!…Or may I'll leave it. It might be fun to swear at him without my hikari having conniption fits because of my 'colorful language'.

"Tch, I could pick out something you would eat, blind folded."

"We have got to get lives…" I snorted. Oh the fucking irony! We used to all seriously hate each other to the point of trying to murder each other, now we just mildly loathe and despise and can probably fill out character profiles on each other. We're still in denial. I hate them both and want them to die. Violently. I'm so full of shit it scares me. Are you happy now?

"Hey damn it, pay attention to me," Akefia nudged me.

"I've been ignoring you haven't I?"

"Yes, you bastard."

"Oh yeah! Your mom!"

"…I won't even point out the flaw in that joke," he chewed on his steak, which was identical to my own. Apparently he'd picked up eating utensil etiquette pretty quickly.

"So, how do you like our world, Akefia?"

"It would be much better if I weren't thrust into it like this. But I guess I get used to it, neh?" He nudged me.

"Yeah. Unfortunately we get to act like a maniacal loser who makes many, many threats only to get them shoved back into our faces. It's divine justice of something I'm sure. Either that or God really does hate us. Well, the Gods…Not just God. We didn't have crazy things like Christianity back then…"

"Just like we don't have women who are allowed to talk smack to men, back in our time."

"'Talk smack?' Damn, you pickup on lingo pretty quickly too. Why is it I have the memory span of a fish and you are like master of sharp memory over there?"

"Probably because you spent a couple thousand years entertaining yourself with an invisible rubix cube, in the shadow realm." Seto said with nonchalance.

"I invented the Rubixs Cube I tell you! It was me! And I was the first one to beat it! And I didn't pull of the stickers! Because mine didn't HAVE stickers!"

"That's the sign of a poor man, Mister Bakura," Isis said toasting me with her class of coke. Probably Diet Coke. Pansy woman.

"Oh you're just jealous!" I retorted. I was a little grateful for Isis and Mai being there, because I didn't feel so bad about Jou not understanding us, since Mai didn't understand either. The two were quietly talking back and forth across the U shaped booth, while the rest of us cut up like retards.

I sighed to myself. When I was about to be a stubborn and irrefutable ass, I had to remember things like this. Because no matter how much of an asshole I am regularly, I'm still human and there were things that I enjoyed and—as pansy as this is about to sound—cherish.

Now I have to go smack myself nine times and wash my mouth out with bleach. I just got all sappy on you. I should be shot. Looks like I'll have to send someone to the shadow realm to make myself feel better. Yeah, that's what I'll do. When I'm done with the steak…

**To be Continued…**

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_Leo: I know it's been a LONG ass time and you probably thought: 'hey, what the hell. Where's the next chapter? Why's it taking months and months and MONTHS. LEO YOU ASSHOLE. UPDATE YOU WHORE.' I know it's what you were thinking! Well I've finally gotten around to working on it, and at least you've got a longer chapter this time (four pages longer! WHOOOT!) The story will pick up after this chapter. I promise. I already decided on the ending and I think it's the most appropriate one that can be done! I will not tell you, so don't bother to ask XD! You see when we get there! _

_On a totally unrelated note: If you're interesting in role playing Original characters or Anime/Manga ones, I've got a new forum going and I'm looking for Yuugioh role players so I can start a Yuugioh RP! (Maybe get myself back into the YGO phase enough to really get cracking on this fic.) The link is **ocrp(DOT)co(DOT)nr** , so if you're interested just check it out! We're still a rather small forum, but feel free to join and start up a new RP! D_


	27. Corrupting the Pharaoh

_Leo: Be proud goddamn it. BE FUCKING PROUD. After months of neglect, I not only managed to actually update, but I did it TWICE, and in less than a week. AND it's a fairly long chapter by comparison to earlier chapters! I want some damn praise for this!_

_Sorry ahead of time for typos!_

**Two of the Same Kind  
Chapter 26**

It was a nice evening in spite of all else. We ate, shopped some more, and Seto did remind me to buy cotton candy. Marik, Akefia and I practically ate our body's weight in cotton candy. No one else would join us. Seto nit picked a bit, but other than that it was all ours. Or course it only took so long before the three of us force-fed the sweet sugary goodness to the Pharaoh. He can be a tough little bitch when he wants to be.

Seto and Marik got lucky enough to be the bag carriers. I was quite proud of myself for not having over-shopped this time. Last time I racked up more than a thousand bucks in just one store! Not that it hurt Seto's bank account or anything. He's so rich off his ass, his ass is jealous! And a nice ass it is.

"Bakura, quit staring at my ass." He spoke in a monotone like this was something that happened all the time. And it was.

"Oh come on, it should be a public service to let people look at your ass!"

"You're impossible…" He shook his head.

"No! I'm Bakura!"

"Idiot."

Eventually though, even with the light hearted banter, it got late (yeah there's your sign Bakura…) and we started to wind down and even get a little worn out. Or at least I did. Fuck I was tired. What do you expect? I was impaled! …Speaking of which, my wound itched badly. We idled around a while to kinda walk off the rest of whatever hyperness was left over, then we finally piled into the lush limo that Seto still won't let me drive. But he was kind enough to drop Isis and Mai off at the museum so Isis could check the perimeter, set the alarms and get her car. The rest of us continued to the house I shared with Ryou. Coming to a stop in front of the homey little building that is my house, Akefia, Marik and I hopped out. Marik usually waited out for his hikari to return. Hell, they might as well have lived at our damn house!

"Man I tell you it'll be nice to get some sleep tonight!" I yawned and looked around. "Hey where's the Pharaoh?"

"He said he's gonna catch a ride to the shop." Marik shrugged.

I scowled and put one of my hands on my hip and knocked the other one on the car to halt the driver. "Like hell he is!" I flung open the door and leaned in as best I could with a wound. "Pharaoh Bitch-Head, get your ass out here!"

"What? Are you finally planning to kill me and bury me in your backyard?"

"No, I'm saving that for Monday afternoon, now quit being a little ass and get out of the damn car! You're not going to catch cooties from us!"

"But I don't have Kaiba as my safety barrier! Like I trust you, Marik and Akefia with my safety!" He huffed.

"Oh you dramatic dick," I leaned in a little further and forcibly pulled him out of the vehicle. He finally helped me pull him out of the car and he brushed himself off as he stood. The smug look on his face made me want to beat him. "You were just doing that for shits and giggles weren't you?"

"Hey you can't be the difficult one all the time."

"Oh I deplore you!" I scoffed. Leaning back into the car I blew a goodbye kiss to Seto and Jou. Seto shook his head and made a lazy motion back at me and Jou blew an enthusiastic kiss in return. I shut the door and waited for the limo to pull out. The four of us turned to make way to my house.

I frowned looking up at the front door from the porch light. Marik and Yami had mentioned putting the door back on some time during the evening, but it looked so crappy now. There was wood missing off the front. Sadly though, I now knew that the hinges weren't on right, explaining why my fucking door came off so easily. I should have been able to be slammed up against it. No, instead the door goes in on me! Bastards. I sighed, pulling my key from the rainbow lanyard around my neck. The door pushed open once I pulled the key out and I motioned for my 'compadres' to enter.

"I'm going to check the mail really quick guys. If I don't return, presume I'm dead and crank my stereo up really loud with the 'God hates us all' song."

"Damn it man, but it's too late for Slayer." Marik whined.

"Okay fine, how about 'God is dead?'"

"…Hmm… well Nine Inch Nails is good for all occasions…"

"It's settled then, idiot, I'll be right back." I called once more, before I walked out on my porch again, leaving the door only slightly ajar. There's never mail for me, so it's really a pointless gesture, but I got so used to doing it. I guess Ryou's asked me to check the mail so many times that it became a ritual. I opened the infernal box that holds mail that isn't mind and pulled it out. On the top of the pile was a letter addressed to me! Which is why I was bitching about not getting mail now, because I actually got mail and I wasn't to emphasize the importance of it! Of course, when I read the return address I snorted, "Pharaoh, you are a spiteful bastard."

I closed the infernal box and turned to leave, not really paying attention to where I was going. I turned the letter over and started to open it. I had to wonder what the hell he was sending me mail for. I stopped in the middle of my walkway. "Oh hell, it's got anthrax in it…" I pulled out the letter and loe and behold was an album cover printout for the metal band Anthrax. "You know, Pharaoh, your sense of humor needs tuning!" I said even between chuckles. As the rest of the garbage he's managed to stuff in there slipped out, so did something else. It floated down to the ground and I leaned over to pick it up.

It was a card. I turned it over and blinked at it in silence. I merely stared at the card, looking at it delicately under the streetlight. I was almost in awe. A first print edition of the Destiny Board. The card that I lost at Battle City; the one I bitched and whined and almost cried over losing. How he'd managed to get his hands on this thing was beyond me! This card was not common! Now I finally had all five pieces again. I almost sobbed in joy. It's a rare occasion for something good to happen to me. It's even more rare for it to be from someone I usually think is out to get me.

"Damn it man. You asked for it Yami. Whether you like it or not, I'm giving you the tongue this time!" I threatened to the person that wasn't even there. It was then I saw the shadow. I paused. I felt like I was being cornered. I knew there was someone on that street, but I shook my head and continued to walk toward the house. We didn't live in a good neighborhood per say, but I can't remember I time where I'd seen people out in the streets so late. Man that bothered me. I slipped the card back into the envelope and help the stack of mail under my arm. I looked around casually. That sinking feeling wasn't leaving me. Usually I would easily detect what was around me but ever since Akefia had showed up my Ring had been acting strangely. Not that I would tell anyone. Not to mention I left my Ring in the house while we were shopping. The wound in my side didn't help much either.

"All right. Jackasses, come out." I called hesitantly. I saw someone move. It was a single figure, coming out from behind the shadow of the street lamp. Fucking hell, do these people have lives? I questioned to myself once the figure stepped out into the light to reveal himself as that idiot kid who got ball bashed by the Pharaoh. I growled, "What the hell do you want? Haven't you had enough yet?" My eyes narrowed and he took no caution in my verbal tone of warning.

"So which one are you? Ryou or Bakura?" The kid smirked at me as if he'd gotten one up on me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Playing stupid, yeah that's the way to go!

"Don't lie. I saw one of you leave with that Kaiba bastard, and then the other one left after that." He sneered and I realized that he'd been following me. Damn it. There was supposed to be no evidence of us being separate. We'd done well for a long time, making sure not to go to the same place if people my recognize us. I'd even dyed my hair once so I could drag hikari with me to a concert. Now this little prick was so out to get my hikari he stalked us! Oh this kid was so never going to see the light again.

"Fine, have it your way, I'm Bakura. If you're looking for Ryou, then you've stalked the wrong person. And trust me. I'm going to make your life miserable for it."

A quick sliver of light danced across the sidewalk and it was easy to guess the source. No other instrument but a knife would make that kind of shine in a situation like that. That's how he wanted to play hmm? Oh I was ready to take some frustrations out on this sorry pain in the ass. You want to fuck with my hikari; I will happily beat your ass so hard you won't sit for years.

"Really? You're unarmed!" That's what you think fucko. "What are you gonna scratch me with that card your boyfriend sent you?" More sneering. Fucking asshole.

"Why not?" I chuckled, "It worked for Kaiba. Oh and are you just irritable because that so-called 'boyfriend' of mine kicked your ass or, more accurately speaking, your nuts? I'm scarier than he is. Trust me."

He growled at the mention of his ass stomping. His reflexes weren't what he seemed to think they were because when he leapt forward I managed to get a nice clean and solid punch to the guy's head. His auburn hair would be just long enough to cover his eye though, so no one would see the big black bruise if he walked away right then and promised to never even look at me or my hikari again. And of course, if he begged for his life. But you know, it's never that easy. They think they can take me because I look like Ryou and therefore must be a push over.

"Son of a bitch you will regret that!" He swung again and missed. Damn this kid really sucks at street fighting. I kicked his legs out from under him and he hit the ground with a loud thump, letting go of the knife on the drop. The metal weapon dropped at my feet and I casually pick it up.

"Who's not armed now?" I cackled. I needed to send someone to hell, the shadow realm, or hell, it didn't matter at that point. This bastard caused me actual pain because he thought I was Ryou. The idea of this dickhead hurting my hikari, if it hadn't been me, made me furious. Furious enough for me to access a little bit of my shadow magic from the Ring even though it was sitting on the kitchen table in the house. "How do you like darkness, boy?" I gritted angrily. I could see the glow of my aura around me in the dark. Usually I would just send him to the shadow realm without a thought, but scaring the piss out of him would be more sufficient. After all, if a kid disappears and Ryou was the last person to see him, then he could be accused of killing him and that would help anyone. But who's going to believe a stupid ass punk claiming some magical twin of Ryou's used dark magic to fuck him up? I sure as hell wouldn't and I freaking use the magic!

With any luck they would tote this little asshole off to an asylum where he would slowly lose his mind for real. Which gave me glee you can't imagine. An idiot of his caliber didn't have the mental strength to hold off even a little of my shadow magic and I held him in place. He wasn't going to move any time soon. I almost wish I had a hose or a bucket of water, so I could use the Chinese Water Torture Method. I've always wanted to see if that worked.

"So, why were you stalking Ryou again?" I asked avoiding the word hikari at the moment. "Something about you shoving him in a locker and his friend protecting him? Oh and if I find you or your friends taking your anger out on Malik you can rest assured not only will I have your head on a plastic Tupperware lid, but so will Marik. And who knows, maybe even that 'boyfriend' of mine. He can be a pretty good jackass if he tries."

"Your friend started it!" Oh I could smell the fear beginning.

"Oh? And how is that? Ryou can't even watch a chick flick without bursting into tears, or a horror movie without having nightmares! What the hell could he have possibly done to you?" I paused and pretended to care a little bit, "Oh, perhaps he didn't do your homework for you? Or did he not give you his lunch money? You stupid fucking children find the most ignorant reasons to fight."

"What would you know, you freak?!"

"Freak?" I held my mental grip on him even tighter. It was just enough to make him uncomfortable.

"That little bastard turned down my little sister!" He blurted with a struggle. I laughed out loud. I must have sounded deranged too. All of this because Ryou denied some little girl? That made me actually proud of Ryou.

"Oh that's rich! And I wonder why he might have said no? Perhaps it's because her older brother is a fuck head, or maybe, perhaps, it just might be, that he's no interested in women at all! It's not that rare these days you know. Actually, quite accepted. Gay couples can even get married in some places."

"What kinda fucking freaks are you people!? And what the fuck are you doing to me!?" He howled. Every time he called me a freak I was going to increase the pressure on him. If he didn't stop he could even get a broken bone. It wasn't beyond me.

"You're just one little asshole that this world won't miss if I decide to kill you."

"Go ahead and try." He dared.

"You think I won't do it or something? It would be so easy to hide your body that no one will ever find you."

"You have to kill me first dickhead."

His sudden fearlessness startled me and then it occurred to me. He wasn't alone! But this occurrence came to me too late to stop the two that had snuck up behind me from slamming a metal fence post into my side, the very same side I was injured on earlier that day. I was so lucky that I was magically a quick healer, because if I wasn't immortal the wound would have reopened and I would have been gushing enough blood to cause me to bleed to death on the front porch. I would have hit the concrete if jackass number three hadn't grabbed me by the arm. Talk about a blow to the ego upon realizing my carelessness was going to get my ass kicked. Well they thought that anyway. I've gotten myself out of worst situations.

Even still, being knocked about, I didn't release my grip on dickhead number one. I guess he thought that I was going to let go if his friends roughed me up a bit. They had another thing coming if they thought I would splatter that asshole's head all over the driveway before I ever even considered letting him go.

It was then though, that I realized that I didn't get into fights near as much as I used to. I was actually getting a little rusty. In the past I would have never let these punks get the best of me and fuck it all, maybe I was starting to trust people a little bit more. Until jackass one, two and three had showed up that is.

"You know what, fuck him. No one even knows about him apparently." The jackass in my control grinned. What a stupid ass! He was inches from death! But I heard a click come from behind me; from one of his underlings. "Just kill him. No one can miss a person that doesn't really exist." Oh fucking great. A gun. Damn it all, I was so fucking happy that it was I, and not my hikari, in this position. If it had been my hikari, and this joker shot him I would have killed half the town.

"Drop the fucking weapon." I heard a voice that made me want to dance.

"And who the hell are you?" Jackass number two said, pointing the gun to the floor. I guess he was too stupid to talk and not shoot himself on accident. At my front porch stood Marik and my past self.

"I'm Bakura number three. And your worst fucking night mare." Akefia growled in broken Japanese, but the threat was still as intimidating. Damn he learns fast. I am so proud.

"Well you friend here is about to lose his head. Are you going to risk that?" Jackass two threatened. Yes, he actually had the balls to threaten both Marik, with his Rod in hand (oh god, insert obvious Rod joke here) and Akefia (Bakura number three) who had the Ring being twirled so gingerly in hand.

"Why not? Four against three sounds like odds tipped in our favor." Yami's voice came from the opposite direction. Surrounding the enemy. Ooh, this is even more fun than I thought! Suddenly any anger I had turned into excitement. "To mess with any of our hikaris, is to personally evoke wrath from all of us. Regardless of which hikari it may be."

"Oh Pharaoh, you're such a gallant knight!"

"If the damsel in distress would quit killing my threats it would be even better!" Yami scolded.

"What the fuck is wrong with you people?! This isn't a joke!" Now the guy was plain out panicking. I guess you might get a little crazy when your enemies are laughing at your attempts to kill them.

"Let's just get one thing straight," Marik stepped forward, "You've already put a wound in my friend here. You're risking your health and quite frankly, your life, by attacking four people who could disembowel you without even touching you. If you have any other ways to ask for death then the only thing left is to beg for it. Other wise, get out of our fucking sights. If Pharaoh Righteous Ass is willing to send you to hell, then you can bet your sweet ass the rest of us are. Bakura is the worst one here about doing that, so let him go, and we'll let you live to see tomorrow." The glowing eye on his forehead was probably what convinced them to relinquish their hold. The two stepped away and retreated toward their ringleader.

I let the ringleader go and he stood up, backing away slowly, like we were all lions going in for a kill. I breathed a little and started to stand myself up. The bastard was kind enough to drop be back on the concrete before running off like a chicken. Akefia stepped out to help me up. I gathered the mail in my hands and allowed him to pull me to my feet.

Jackass one, two and three didn't quite get the message. I guess they thought we were acting like cute little Houdini's who could do nifty little magic tricks, I don't know, but they all pulled guns on us. Apparently the ringleader had a gun on him the whole time, but couldn't get to it. What is with kids and guns these days?

"Well, you had your chance," Pharaoh sighed and with a single wave of a hand the three disappeared in a violet fog.

I stared almost stupidly for a moment. "You just sent them to the shadow realm!"

"Yes? Where's the surprise? You do it all the time!" He retorted.

"Yes, I do, but you don't!"

"I'll let them out in about a week or so. By then they'll be too mental to really thin about attacking you or Ryou again." He said with a self-satisfied grin.

"All right guys, lets go in before our hikaris get home and wonder why we're standing out side looking all fired up and smug as hell."

About this time the sound of a door slamming echoed through the street and we realized that we were all so very busted. Turning our heads we could see Ryou, Yugi and Malik with arms folded and looking ready to scold us for using shadow magic against a mortal. Atemu just yawned, because like us, he really didn't care. Usually we're not allowed to use shadow magic against people, as a general rule. Against each other, it's fine, no harm done. But the hikaris didn't want us to risk exposing our magical abilities. So naturally they were probably a little disappointed.

"How is it you show up after the fight ends?" Marik questioned.

"Luck?" Malik shrugged.

"Why did you send those people to the shadow realm?! I could be blamed for their disappearances!" Ryou asked with his doe eyes all glassy looking under the street lamp. He can make a fucking kitten feel guilty.

"I didn't do it!"

"Yami…."

"Technically he didn't." Pharaoh shrugged.

"Yami!" Yugi gasped.

"Hey, the punks had guns! What do you expect of me? You leave me in the company of these people and don't expect me to turn into pure Satanic evil?"

"Hey," I prodded him in the gut with an elbow. "We're not that evil."

"Oh close enough."

"Let's go inside already," Ryou sighed, after paying the taxi driver. "You can tell us the detailed inside. Unless you think you're going to start sending each other to the shadow realm for fun."

"Nope! Not today hikari, we have to wait until Monday for that!" I grinned gripping Akefia with one hand for support and the mail in my hand with the other. "So where did you learn how to say 'I'm your worst fucking nightmare?'" I asked my past self.

"Marik instructed me on how to say it. He said you'd want us to make dramatic entrances."

"That is quite like me." I snorted. "I tell ya what though guys. We make a bad ass team."

"Hell yes we do." Marik added.

"So hikari, do you have any bullies that won't leave you alone?" The Pharaoh asked leaning closer to Yugi.

"Yami!"

"Heh, corruption of the Pharaoh, part one, mission completed!" I said mindlessly high fiving Marik with the hand that was resting over Akefia's shoulder.

We walked into the house, making sure to lock the door. God knows we were a little paranoid after that incident. Anyone would be. Crazy shit happens only when I least expect it. 'I have to work on fixing the door tomorrow,' I sighed to myself. But at least Ryou didn't have to worry about being bullied by any one other than me! And that made me feel better.

It was obvious that Yugi, Yami, Pharaoh's Idiot past self, Malik, and Marik were all camping over with us. After all, that lovely little brawl in the street left none of us really wanting to leave. It wasn't a big deal at any rate. With two extra bedrooms there was plenty of room. Ryou's dad would be a little surprised to find his son living in an actual house rather than that apartment. We can thank Kaiba for his wonderful donation. Marik chose to sleep all over the floor in my living room. He has a fascination with sleeping on the rug in there. So I guess that's for the better since Yami wanted a bedroom and didn't want to share one with Atemu. The hikari's all cubby holed themselves up in Ryou's room and like normal (or at least normal for the last few days) Akefia got to bunk with me.

I peeled off my shirt, carefully. My wound was almost healed, but there was already a tear in my favorite shirt. If I managed to get it off without making it worse, maybe Ryou could fix it or something. My mind forgot about the shirt though. A cold hand trailed down my spine and I whined. He's a torturer, I tell you. "You're finishing what you started, aren't you?" I asked in a breath.

"Stop me and I'll tie you down I promise." He replied, turning me around and throwing me up against the wall. It was just then I remember how persistent I used to be.

Hot damn.

**To be continued….**

* * *

_Leo: Did you really think I would end this story without throwing in at least one raunchy 'Bakura has sex with him self' scene? What kinda bastard do you think I am? I may change the ending pairing. But this thing is absolutely Gemini shipping overall. That was quite a dramatic chapter I realize. But I think the story needed it. Not to mention I think it needed to be updated sooner than never. Which I seriously apologize for it being so long, not to mention not really getting any where with the story. But I have to keep the mindless banter chapters in there to build up to other things. For those of you still following the story Thank you! It means a lot that anyone would read this! (Cue low self esteem.) I've decided to end this story at about 35 chapters. But if it makes you feel a little better I'm thinking about writing more stories with real plots! GASP._

_Most of the raunchy stuff in the next chapter will be posted on my personal site and linked. Because I don't want this story deleted.  
_


	28. Mood Swing

_Leo: Due to the long, long break since the last update, I'm skipping the lemon scene until I finish the story completely. That way when I go through and edit it and de-typo it I can link in the lemony scene. Chances are that scene will either go up on my personal site, or I'll post it up in my live journal. (I may not even do it, if I don't deem to appropriate). Either way, I'll let you know. Sorry about the long wait guys. I wanted to finish this on my terms and we all know how terrible I am with deadlines. I've changed my plan from the previous chapter and I'll end it on chapter 30. I really need to call this one to close. (As well as several others)._

**Two of the Same Kind  
**_Chapter 27_

I opened my eyes slowly. The light was just beginning to bring light into my room. Who the fuck left the window open? I cursed mentally, but moved to crawl my sorry ass out of that bed. Consciousness reminded me of the night before. God knows how late it was when I went to sleep, but I knew how early it was when I woke up. Hell, I hate daylight savings. I needed a few minutes before I had to face the sleeping form in my bed. I knew how light a sleeper he would be, so I made every effort to sneak out in the true fashion of a thief, closing the door soundlessly. Only to turn around and have Marik and his hair in my face. I bit back a scream. His hair always makes me do that if I see it before I'm truly awake.

"What the hell!" I whispered my scream instead and punched him lightly in the chest. "Do you just stand outside of my door in order to scare me shitless?"

"What's the right answer to that question?"

"Oh shut up!" I rolled my eyes and dragged the fellow asylum runaway with me. "On the bright side, it's probably good you're awake...I need someone to talk to."

"You...talk? Civilly? This early?" Marik gaped, "you need to go back to sleep, because you're not feeling well."

"You think you're funny don't you?" I turned to glare at him.

"Nah...actually...that was kinda lame...but give me a few minutes. I'll think of something good."

"God, you are lame no doubt." I chuckled, pushing the door to the kitchen open and allowing it to swing just enough to jack Marik in the shoulder. "Ooops."

"Ah 'ooops' my ass." He frowned, but took a seat at the kitchen table, soothing his newly battered arm. "So...what happened last night?"

I looked at him with a questioning glance. "What the hell Marik, you were there!"

"No...I mean after that."

"Come again?"

"After you and your 'clone' went off to 'sleep'." He folded his arms. Ah fuck, he was sharper than I thought. Or maybe he watched me more than I thought and he was just expressing so in his creepy way.

"Nothing." I replied.

"Liaaaar!" He sang.

"Shut up! Fine, something happened! Is that what you wanted to hear!"

"Yes?" He smirked.

I pointed a finger at him before going into the refrigerator, "I hope god smites you."

"Oh it's not that bad..." He folded his arms over the table and rested his head on them. "I mean, think of it as the most awesome masturbation scene ever."

I threw a plate at him for his so called reasoning.

"Hey! Ow! No plates until after ten-thirty... we agreed!" He thankfully caught the plate. I hadn't really thought about what I was doing as I tossed Ryou's precious China at the crazy blonde. I think it would break Ryou's poor heart if I broke his precious plates.

"Well those aren't words a man wants to hear after he tells his best friend that he slept with himself!"

"Aw, I'm your best friend?"

"Go to hell!"

"Seriously though, Bakura. I think it was probably best that you did. Not just because I'm a massive pervert and seriously wish I could have watched that, but because now the lust is gone. You were attracted to him because he is you. No one is more perfect for you than you. You know? God...now I know how you feel with all of these stupid pronouns."

"I'm surprised you know what a pronoun is."

"I even know what a noun is, so ha."

I sighed and looked over at him warily. Damn him. He was right. In the rare moments when he is right, I feel incredibly small. I'm always showing dominance in intelligence over him, but some how he manages to show the insight when it's the most dramatically effective. I suppose that's part of what makes me go to Marik when I'm either feeling incredibly shitty, angry or I feel the need to apple sack someone with a real bag of apples to see which will bruise first, the person or the apples. Surprisingly enough...the apples bruised first on that experiment...but I think that's because Marik has tough skin or no blood. I'm betting on no blood. I always knew he was a zombie.

"You're right." I admitted. "Now I feel awkward and wrong. I've never felt like that before Marik! That bothers me! It bothers me endlessly! I woke up a few hours before getting out of bed and when I drifted back to sleep I kept thinking about someone else and how it should have been that someone else!"

"Who?"

"I'm not telling you! But the point is I actually regret what I did! I never regret anything! I'm known for doing what I feel like and not giving a shit about it! Fuck, Marik, last night while we were out I actually realized what a pansy I'm becoming and the fact that I'm okay with it! A few years ago I would rather have kicked you in the teeth than spoke a decent word to you about my feelings! Either I'm becoming soft, or I'm turning into a woman! I almost had a nervous break down in the middle of a shopping district because I realized that I have no purpose in life."

"Oh you have a purpose...Trust me. You'll find it sooner or later Bakura."

"What are you my therapist?"

"Of course not. You kill therapists. I'm your counselor. Speaking of which...why do you hate therapists and not counselors?"

I thought about it. "...I don't know." I shrugged and turned the stove on so I could make eggs. I love our new electric stovetop. It's a technological work of fucking art. I can make all the mess I want on that damn thing and I don't have to worry about coiled burners. It's magical. And when you're me, you make messes.

I didn't even bother to look up as the door opened and another body slipped in. I knew who it was on sound alone. Only one person in the whole universe walks with that shuffle at seven-thirty in the morning. I cracked an egg and nonchalantly greeted the newcomer, "Morning, Pharaoh."

"Mnn." He replied groggily. "What on the menu this morning? The neighbor's dog or unidentifiable road kill?"

"Unidentifiable road kill." I replied smoothly.

"Fantastic."

"Only gay people say 'fantastic'." Marik snorted.

"Are you forgetting who I am? I'm the second gayest person in the universe next to Bakura!"

"Damn straight." I puffed up proudly.

"Well..." Marik aimed to point out the flaw in that statement.

"You know what I mean!"

"Why the hell is it so cold in here?" The Pharaoh bitched.

"I don't know...I think the thermostat is broken. I'll see if I can figure the damn thing out in a bit. How'd you sleep?"

"How'd I sleep? No pun intended, but like the fucking dead. Bakura your guest room is, all say this word again, fantastic. I'm going to start sleeping over here."

"You just want an excuse to harass me at stupid-thirty in the morning, don't you?"

"I was hoping that one would go right over your head."

"Not so lucky this time, eh?" I took in my silent victory. It's not surprising that he would think that things go right over my head. They often do. I'm smart and quick, but I'm also a spacey dreamer often. I can't help it. When you've spent stupid-thousand years in an empty void with nothing but a man-eater bug to play fetch with, you tend to overdrive your imagination. Which reminded me... "Hey Pharaoh, thanks for the card."

He slumped against the counter next to me. I could still see the sleep in his face. "No problem. We got in a shipment at the store and when I saw it, I couldn't imagine someone else with that card. It didn't seem justifiable. I could hate you with my whole soul and I still don't think that card belongs in anyone else's hands."

"That was borderline sappy." I chuckled. I looked down and realized I screwed up Marik's eggs. So instead I just started folding them in and decided he got scrambled eggs instead of sunny side up. He knows I can't cook for shit anyway. Well...I probably could cook shit...but I don't even want to know what that would smell like.

"Ah just take it and shut up." He turned away from me. I could have sworn...

"Card?" Marik butted in.

"Yeah. Pharaoh here dropped a letter in my mail box that had a Destiny Board in it...and Anthrax."

"Oooh, which album cover?"

I shook my head in dismay. Of course Marik would get the joke immediately. Hell, I'm sure he was the one to think of that first, and just didn't do it because he doesn't know that the addressee address goes in the middle of the envelope and the return address goes in the corner. Oh and apparently he doesn't know that you have to attack a stamp to it. Yes...I said 'attack' a stamp to it. The only way you're getting those fucking stamps on that envelope is if you attack it. For real.

"Aw, Pharaoh...you never send me any cards." Marik pouted.

"I gave you tongue...shut up."

"Fine, fine, you win that one." Marik snorted then looked to me. "How's your wound?"

I moved a hand over the bandage and rubbed it. "It itches, damn it. But it's not really painful anymore. Just annoying. Then again I'm sure the complete surge of shadow power last night healed it up a bit. I was so proud of you Pharaoh...you actually showed everyone that you have balls."

"Hey I've sent you to the shadow realm plenty of times." He smirked.

"Cha...I send myself to the shadow realm when I'm bored...so that's not an accomplishment."

"Heh, I suppose that's true enough."

Marik sighed and it caught my attention. I turned to look at him and he got off the chair he'd parked himself in and idled over to the refrigerator and went straight for the orange juice. I found this stranger than usual.

"What's up Marik?"

"Oh nothing." He hiccupped, "You two are denser than oil in water...That's all."

"What's that supposed to-"

"Good morning!" Came the sunshiny voice of my ever so radiantly gay hikari as he and the other two pansies came into the room. Well...Malik's not a pansy. But still.

"Good? Since when do good and morning belong together? That's like putting a sheep and a monkey in a room and expecting them to mate. It's wrong, it's sick and it never happens."

"Aren't you just gleeful this morning, Bakura." Malik snorted in the same manner that Marik does. Damn them. Damn them and their Egyptiany-ness. If they didn't have such pretty eyes, I would stab those two in them.

"I shit sunshine. What do you expect."

"That's what you get for eating Mexican food!" Marik sang.

"Stop singing, you jackass!"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the last two bodies enter the crowded kitchen. Pharaoh Jackass's past self, and my own clone. Atemu yawned and jabbed Akefia in the side, only to receive a jab in response. And I realize how retarded they looked. Good god.

"So, you finally join the living." I nodded to the two.

"Well...as living as a dead person can get." My smart ass past self replied.

"You're a pain in the ass." I rolled my eyes. "All right everyone, I've made eggs. I don't know who wants them or whatever, but I'm going to let Ryou take over from here. Because these might kill someone..."

"I'll take em." Marik volunteered his health to test the biohazard. Crazy son of a bitch.

"Good, they were yours to begin with."

"Suh-weet." Marik grinned. I scraped the egg product off the pan and into a plate so Marik could at least eat off something decent before he died.

Our hikaris joined Marik at the four person table, leaving me, myself and the Pharaoh twins to occupy the bar area in the kitchen. Ryou had insisted on having that option in the kitchen, but I can't tell you how many times I've almost busted my head open because of those stupid chairs being in the way. I sat on one side of Yami and Akefia sat on the other. We were purposefully trying to keep our distance I think.

"So, what does everyone want for breakfast?" Ryou asked. He's always willing to go the extra mile for everyone...how the hell did I end up with such a righteous person?

"Doesn't matter to me." Malik shrugged. Those should be his tag words when it comes to food, because he always says 'it doesn't matter'.

"Can I get some hot sauce for this?" Marik asked between chews.

"I think I'll skip breakfast today." I added nonchalantly and instantly I could feel them staring to me from the table as well as Ryou's big doe eyes looking like I had just told him I ripped the head off the puppy dog that he doesn't even have.

Pharaoh was the first one to break the silence with a hard jab in my rib, "I don't think you can survive another morning without nourishment."

"Not to mention...you may not eat anything else, but Bakura when you don't eat breakfast...then I know something's wrong!" Damn Ryou's deductive reasoning.

"I'm fine, Ryou. God, and even if I wasn't, isn't it wrong to point out to everyone that I'm ill at ease?"

"Since when did you use terms like ill at ease, Bakura?"

"Fuck you Marik." I frowned. "Nothing's wrong with me…" I turned sharply to the Pharaoh. "And what the fuck do you mean by that." I glared at the man next to me. "I'm not undernourished. I take care of myself just fine!"

Yami sat back with a defensive look in his eyes. "What's got you so testy, Bakura?" He asked snidely. "You don't take care of yourself for shit, otherwise you wouldn't be as fucked in the head right now as you are."

"Oh…low blow." Marik cringed.

I stood up. "Fucked in the head?! Fucked in the head!? You call me fucked in the head? Why don't you talk to the bastards that made me fucked in the head! Then we'll talk! I'm not like this because I can't take care of myself!"

"I'm not talking about your health, you dumb fuck!" Pharaoh stood up. He shocked me with how he was coming back at me. Usually he just concedes to my attitude. Rises above me or whatever. Like the so called righteous person that he thinks he is. Now he was pressing me. Antagonizing me. Knowing that I was in a shitty mood already. Of course, he didn't know why I was in a shitty mood. Then again, at that moment I wasn't sure what I was so pissed off at. I just knew I was in a foul mood.

"Oh then explain it to me!" I dared.

"Okay, I will." He stepped closer, and without thinking I backed up. "You mood swing like a pendulum. You don't even notice you're doing it. And we all put up with you. We know you're already fucked in the head and petty and a little twisted. No, a lot twisted. But we already know that! It's YOU! You who doesn't see that we accept you for that! God! You fucking moron! You've got friends around you and you don't see it. When something's wrong, you don't say anything and that's what's so fucked up about you."

I stayed silent for a moment. I didn't have an instantaneous response clever enough to be fit for immediate use. He was right. He was abso-fuckin-lutely right. And I hated every second of that. I hated him for pointing out that I didn't come to any of them when I needed help. I never asked or called for help. Not even when I had a gun pointed at my head. That didn't even feel right. I felt accepted and I didn't accept that. I wasn't used to having to accept that.

"So what am I supposed to do? Ask you to hold my hand every fucking time I turn around?! I'm not like you people. I'm not into that friendship shit that you and your buddies preached like a church sermon."

"I'm not asking you to! I'm asking you to calm the fuck down and don't wait until you have a fucking brain spasm before you tell anyone."

"And you think I should talk to you about my feelings?" I said, mocking the very concept.

"I don't see why not. I consider you my friend. Albeit we have a fucked up friendship, to be honest. It's still there."

"He's right Bakura." Marik added. I had forgotten that he could understand. Only the hikaris were in the dark and Malik knew most of the key words, even if his ancient language skills were less than perfect. "He's absolutely right."

Yami stepped closer to me and leaned against my shoulder, whispering in my ear. "Remember what I said. You're not useless. You don't have to act like you're blind. You know who loves you. And if you hadn't figured out that much by now, I've been giving you too much credit." He said, before he stepped away, leaving me utterly fucking stunned.

**To Be Continued...**


	29. Secrets?

**Two of the Same Kind **

Chapter 28

I will begin by saying; I think Kaiba has been lacing my drinks with crack. No, I seriously think he is. He's around enough and so damn…uh…bootylicious… that he can managed to accomplish such a feat under my nose. And I'm a damn thief. A Master thief. A masterfully super special awesome thief. Fear me, rawr. But the point of the matter…wait…what was the…oh yeah…Damn it, I lost it again. It's because I've got Celine Dion music blearing across the house. Damn hikari. Oh, and now he's critiquing me because blearing isn't the right word. It is too, you git. Anyway, back to the story.

I watched that bastard Pharaoh storm out like the princess that he is and for some ungodly reason, I felt like shit for it. Not like small shit. But like an impressively fresh pile. Fuckin A, I just said like, like three, no like four times there. Man, I'm off my game today. I need to punch something. Where is Marik when he's actually useful.

I said nothing to the on lookers. Especially not Marik. I didn't need to rubbing any more shit in my face. He'd once told me I needed to lighten up and stop fighting the fact that I have…ugh….friends… That word makes me feel so dirty and not even the pleasant kind of dirty you feel when there's a hot guy groping you in a public place. I mean the bad kinda dirty. I sighed and went up the stairs. Skipping them by twos. The faster I found one of Ryou's stuffed animals to rip into shreds, the better. I mean hell, I deal with enough shit. I think I deserve to pulverize an innocent doll.

"Fucking fucker fuck." I cursed and turned the sharp corner into my bathroom. I slammed the door and turned to stare into the mirror, unaware until it was too late that the Pharaoh has stormed off into the same fucking place!

"AHH!" I shrieked and withdrew, with a wild flailing of the arms and a graceful crash into the door. Wound directly into the door knob. I shrieked again. "AHH! FUCKING FUCKER FUCK!"

"The hell Bakura!" Pharaoh moved forward with an arm to help me off the floor, because in my glorious two seconds of epiphany and storm off, then drama queen door slamming I managed to kick my own ass again. "Don't you look where you're going?!"

I flailed my arm at him, punching him in the arm with a cry, "NO! No, I don't!"

"Good God, Bakura. You're insane."

I glared at him through blurry eyes, "I thought you knew that you bastard!"

"Oh I knew that a long time ago when you tried to kill me by playing a game!" He chuckled, but I did not find it funny. He sat next to me. I guess he realized that I was not getting up. My knees weren't functioning properly. Probably because I had a stabbing pain in the back. "Why do you have to be such a pain?"

"Why do you have to have such big hair!" I countered. "Isn't it Monday, yet? Can I go for your throat now?"

"There you go again. Acting all tough." He snorted and I leaned my head against his shoulder, damning him for being the bigger one these days.

"I am tough."

"I see that!" I cold feel the laughter course through his being. Bastard. Getting amusement at my expense.

"Ah shut up, you bloody wanker." I frowned. A question was eating at me. But I didn't want to ask. I didn't need to know what he meant by it. But he'd made me think of the way he'd acted toward me when I had my tiny little mental breakdown and realized that my very existence is worthless. We weren't really enemies at all. Were we?

"You know…If Marik comes looking for you. I'm going to answer that you're in here…with me." I looked up quickly. There was a perverse glimmer in those large eyes.

"You wouldn't!"

"Heh…oh yes I would. Then see how long it takes before Marik opens his big mouth and spreads some sick rumor that you will never recover from!"

I gasped horrified, "You devious son of a bitch!" I punched a fist against his shoulder again. That was enough times to leave a bruise I'm sure, but he didn't say anything.

"Mwahaha, you can't always be the clever one. But seriously, I'm sorry for saying that in front of everyone, not that the hikaris understood or anything. But damn it, Bakura. You make me so mad sometimes. I understand you more than you think. And I can even accept you not wanting to admit to certain things and not wanting to recognize it as such, but don't flat out deny it. Change the subject, or lie, or something. I'm used to you lying to me. Like when you swear that you don't cheat when we play a game."

"…I only cheat a little…you win anyway!" I looked away sheepishly. It wasn't that he called me on cheating. Hell, I often tell him that I'm going to cheat. Ironically, the only time I don't cheat is when I tell him.

"My point was, don't hole yourself up. I wanted to kill you for so long. I'm sure you remember how badly I sent your ass to the shadow realm. The only reason I didn't just banish your soul was because of Ryou, that and you're impossible to kill. But now it seems like I'm too used to you. In the last few months you've been unknowingly acting distant. You put on a fantastic front, but I know you."

"Man…you sound incredibly stalkerish right now."

"Says the jackass camping out on my lap."

"Only half way!" I protested.

"You didn't say no."

"SHUT UP!"

"So are you ready to go back downstairs and act like your normal bad self?"

"Fine, fine. But if the hikaris ask about anything, you say nothing or I'll kill you in your sleep. And rape your dead body for fun."

Yami's eye twitched and he coughed, "Okay, you win. I will say nothing."

"…Just so you know…I wouldn't really do that…" I said, after fully thinking about what I had said. I had such a fucked sense of humor. "Rape your dead body that is…About killing you…I'm not promising anything."

"I can accept that." He smiled, standing up. "Come on. Ryou's going to have a brain aneurysm if we don't reassure him you're not killing yourself."

"Oh and what am I supposed to say after that display? I mean that's gonna look retarded. Five minutes ago you were verbally kicking my ass and now we're hunky dory?"

"It always worked for Kaiba…"

"But he has large wads of CASH."

"Oh yeah."

I shook my head, but I stood. Thankfully, my injury didn't open again. It just itched. The pain subsided, but fucking A. The itching! I wanted to rub my back against the wall in order to relieve it, but I had to keep my dignity….That's a fucking lie. Scratched my back against that stupid border crap they put halfway down the walls. I used to remember what that was called, but obviously, I don't remember now.

"…Let me know when you're done." Pharaoh commented in chuckles.

"Stop rushing me you cad."

"You know…I could just…I know this is impossible to think of and far beyond your possible thinking…but I could just scratch your back for you."

Fuckin A.

"Yes, yes you could…" I frowned, "But that would be a victory for you and I positively cannot have that."

"…You're a freak."

"Says the man whose hair scares small children! Not to mention ME!"

"…Oh that's mature." He rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm. "Com on."

"Hey! Don't man-handle me! I'm fragile!"

"Yeah, I bet you are." Pharaoh asshole snorted again. What the hell man! I scowled, but walked along with him sulkingly. (Okay, Fuckin A. You're telling me that Word doesn't consider sulkingly a word. MY ASS.) I opened my mouth to bitch about something or other and he turned around and hushed me.

I struggled against his hand that clamped over my mouth. I couldn't bite his hand. He was smart enough to move his fingers out of the way, but that didn't stop me from sticking my tongue out and slobbering all over his palm until he released his grip at least long enough for me to whisper: "What the hell!?" He offered no answer but pointed. I glanced over in the vicinity he pointed to. I saw Akefia and Atemu in the hall talking. I looked back to Yami, "So? What's the big deal? We're in the hall talking t-." It hit me. They were in the hall talking. TALKING. Together. Two people who hated each other with clear passions were talking, much like I was talking with the guy still death gripping my arm.

"Can you hear them?" Yami asked, while I wrenched his hand free of my poor innocent arm.

I pressed my head close to the wall. The sound would travel along a solid path. I could hear whispering. "Yeah I can hear them."

"What are hey saying?"

"Hold on!"

I concentrated real hard on the words and the conversation sounded much like:

"Great job genius." From Atemu's end.

"What? Don't give me that look, you bastard. It worked!"

"Yeah, but at what cost?"

"Gah! Everything's a cost to you!"

I was trying to listen to more but Yami grabbed my arm and pulled me away. One of them had looked over. I guess they were trying to be secretive. But what about? And what the hell "worked"? Damn it! I hate secrecy!

"There's something going on!" I huffed in a raspy whisper. "And I don't like being in the dark about it!"

"Hey, I wanna know what they're plotting too!" He replied, but there was a pause and shuffle in his tone that convinced me that something was awry. Hmm…

"Let's go back to the others." I decided. "I'll figure them out eventually, but not right now. I need to find a way to make everyone stop freaking out and leave me alone."

Yami sighed. What? What did I say now? "There you go again. I believe you would tell us anything to make us shut up wouldn't you?"

"No…not always…with you I have to actually connive something. Because you're surprisingly smarter than the average bear."

"Thanks…" He rolled his eyes and followed me, catching up to my gait until he walked beside me back down the stairs toward the kitchen. Damn it all. I didn't want to have to walk in there all cheery and shit. Hell, it took me forever to get to the point where I could tolerate more than one person at a time, now I was often centering myself as a figure of attention. It wasn't intentional, but just kind of happened. I won't lie, I like being noticed, but usually not for the things I get noticed for. Yeah, I know I'm damn sexy, but sometimes I would rather someone tell me I look super evil. Even…if I'm not that evil anymore. It hurts to say that….

I hold out a hand to push in the door, but the door seems to just repel from my hand before I can even touch it…Now that's just rude…or rather, that's just Ryou opening the door and blinking at me with those damnable eyes of his.

"…Before you ask," I took in a breath, "No I'm not angry, no I'm not depressed, I'm fine, don't worry, I didn't kill the pharaoh, I'm not doing drugs, if you pay me lots and lots of attention I might even be nicer to the pharaoh for you and I'll stop wagging a leash at Jounouchi." There…all of my most common infractions taken care of at once.

He did that cute little Ryou pout that obviously only Ryou could do, since he was Ryou. "Okay…I was just worried about you…you're always so open, unless you're serious…then you clam up…" Oh for fuck's sake…would everyone stop telling me how much of a recluse I am?!

"Seriously…." I repeated and he held up his hands to signal understanding.

"I thought I would come and tell you that Seto and Jounouchi are here."

I blinked, "Already? Man, they just can't get enough of me can they?"

"What makes you think you're the reason we came here?" Seto's voice echoed smartly in my direction. I turned slowly and gave him my most pleasant smile, which wasn't saying a great deal, since I am not a pleasant person.

"Because you adore me." I explained.

"Sometimes…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I pouted.

"Don't pout…You're not Ryou…it doesn't work for you."

"Damn it." I scowled, but then looked back up to him. Seto was walking in my direction. He had that serious look about him like, like he had something important to say. When Seto has something important to say, everyone listens. But then again…the man was developing a sense of humor…so maybe it was just him pretending to be serious, just to get me. "What's wrong?"

"I found your surprise that you left in my mansion."

…ooooooh….Thaaaat.

"Heh….Don't like it?"

"Actually…I don't mind it…but I'm sure the person who watched that tape first will burn with that memory forever."

"…Oops? You came all the way here to tell me that?" I batted my eyes.

"That among other things." He smirked that all knowing smirk and glanced over at Atemu, who had wandered up, leaving my past self to wander back into the kitchen with Marik and Malik.

HOLY SHIT. Seto knows something!

**To be Continued… **

_Leo: Once I actually finish this story, everything will suddenly, BOOM make sense. Man…I'm devious. But alas, I am now editing all of my chapters, so it shall soon be plothole free and error proofed. Hope you enjoy! _


	30. Ducks in a Row

**Two of the Same Kind**  
_Chapter 29_

"Oh my god, Seto, you're hiding something!" I pouted loudly.

"Nonsense. I'm hiding nothing." He smirked in that devious 'I know something you don't know' way.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "You're up to something."

Seto's expression softened and he held up his hands defensively. "I'm really not. Actually, I'm here to give you your check."

"…Oh." I blinked. "GAH, you had me thinking you were trying to do something. That's cruel of you Mr. Kaiba." I pouted, but he could see me clearly. He knew I was thinking: 'You're so full of shit, rich guy.'

"Check?" Yami said, poking his face over my shoulder.

"Yeah, I get a monthly income outta Seto for doing excessive monthly security checks." I explained, opening the envelope. Technically I wasn't being paid, Ryou was but that was fine by me. After all, I didn't exist legally. This money usually went to utility bills. "Why do you think that Ryou doesn't have a part time job?"

"I don't know…" The Pharaoh shrugged and watched me open my small fortune. Man, I was taking such glorious pride on his reaction. I mean, this wasn't a small amount of money. "Holy fuck, Bakura," He oogled, "what the hell do you do to bring in that much money?"

"For once, it isn't sexual favors." I chuckled. "Jounouchi told me I wasn't allowed to do that anymore." I frowned in the blonde's direction.

"Hey, hey, I didn't say that. I said as long as I'm there, it's okay." Jou winked back

"I'll keep that in mind." I blew my 'employer' a kiss. Heh. I get away with sexual harassment. Kick ass. "I love my job…it's the best job you can give a thief." I boasted, "I periodically and quite randomly check to see if there are any holes in Kaiba Corps security."

"In other words," Seto added, "He tries breaking into my company building every day."

"Heh, and every time, I find something that's out or needs work. Sometimes I even bring Marik with me…But usually we get caught when I bring him…because he's not very sneaky."

"Sounds like fun." Yami snorted, coming along with me and the other. We headed toward the living room and I found my unbelievably large plush chair to jump into. Kaiba and Jounouchi sat on our couch and eventually everyone else migrated into our small little room. 

"Move over," a voice said close to my ear. I tilted my head to see Akefia motioning for me to scoot over so he could help me occupy my chair. I complied and he sank into the cushiony chair with me. That chair is so cool. I love it. It's huge. As mentioned, easily big enough for two of me.

"Man, this is turning into a daily meeting with all of us…I'm shocked shit to see you hanging out with the likes of us Kaiba-boy." Marik taunted. Marik and Seto were the only two of the group who vehemently disliked each other's very presence. Both of them tried to be civil. Marik, because I made him; and Seto because I can even sweet talk the richest man in Japan.

Though…even Seto has undeterminable impulses sometimes.

"You are so fucking dead." Seto jumped forward, only to be grabbed by Jounouchi, who despite looking small in comparison to his boyfriend, was actually a tough little bitch.

"Marik, don't taunt the guy that gives me lots of money." I sighed. "So what's on today's agenda?"

"Haven't gotten that far yet." Ryou smiled in that sweet way he always does. It never fails. Man, his cuteness makes me wanna punch him sometimes…that's the bully in me coming out. Of course I don't…but I can't help but feel the urge every now and then. 

"There's not much else that's fun around here." Malik sighed.

"There's the new skating rink." Jounouchi offered and before any answer could be given, I heard the front door open. And usually I would think of this as strange, but knowing the familiar sound of a key going into the lock I could only chalk it up to one possible person…since all the other possibilities were in that very room.

"Hi Yugi." I said to the door that my back was facing.

"Oh…everyone's already awake." Yugi sounded surprised. "Hi Bakura!" He sounded ridiculously awake at that early in the morning. Okay…early for me.

"I wondered where you were, hikari." Pharaoh said. My pharaoh, not the past one…Okay…that makes no sense…I don't know how that makes him 'my' Pharaoh…but I guess…Oh fuck, I don't know. Bad word play, Bakura.

"I left early to check on Grandpa. I told Ryou I'd be back before anyone knew I was gone…but amazingly you're all actually awake." He laughed, walking closer to the back of my chair and—in a sickeningly adorable way—gave me a super cute hug around my neck. Yami twitched. I laughed.

"You're getting kinda thin, Baku." Yugi blinked his big eyes beside my face.

"I am not! Stop picking on me!"

"What did I tell you about skipping meals?"

"That it's unhealthy."

"And?"

"That it makes me look like a renegade cancer patient."

"And?"

"Food makes everyone happy?"

"Good! Now I'm gonna go fix you a sandwich."

"But I don't want a-"

"Yes you do." He looked directly at me with those eyes.

"Yes, I do." I conceded.

Bakura: Zero. Yugi: 50,521.

And with that Yugi hijacked my hikari and Malik and they disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the rest of us in silence. I scowled. I didn't want a sandwich…Damn it…Damn it…Triple damn it. Oh well…Free food that I didn't have to make. I shrugged and leaned my head on Akefia's shoulder. My headache was getting impressive.

"Man…Yugi just put you in your place." Marik cackled. "Some Thief King you are!"

"If you don't shut up…the police will never find your body."

"And if I shut up?"

"Then they'll at least find it." I huffed, but Marik never once took me seriously. "So, Jou…" I turned to Seto's little boy toy. "What's this about a new skating rink?"

"Ah, they rebuilt the Ice skating rink! It just opened up again last week!" He said excitedly. "I've been begging Seto to come with me to it…but he's too busy."

"Speaking of busy, you've had a lot of time free lately moneybags." Marik pointed out.

"I'm on vacation. Technically."

"What'd he say?" Akefia whined, pawing at me. I looked at him and then almost slapped myself. That's right, he couldn't understand our language.

"He said he's on vacation…so he can spend some time with us." I grinned. "He used to spend time with me…until he and the mutt hit it off."

"Hey. That was a mutual break off!" Seto pointed dramatically at me.

"Oh relax, I'm just fucking with your mind."

"Among other things I'm sure." Akefia cackled. "He really is the reincarnation of the high priest."

"I don't know…" Atemu spoke for the first time in a long time. "His ego needs to puff up a few more notches."

"I can hear you, you know…"

"…oh yeah."

"So…" I interrupted. "How bout we try going to this Ice skating place? We can hang out there for a while, and then later to night Marik and I can take Yami on a Kaiba Break-in Raid. It'll be attack of the yami burglars." 

"You have always wanted to say that…haven't you?" Yami asked.

"Yes….yes I have. Besides…I think you've finally gained enough respect points to earn your place in the yami circle of doom."

"…How the hell did I do that?"

"You sent someone to the shadow realm…and sent me Anthrax in the mail."

"Lucky me…" He snorted.

"So it's settled! We're going to this ice skating place." I declared. It was my turn to make a damn decision. I never get to make decisions.

"But you don't even know how to skate, Bakura!" Marik cackled.

"You don't either, you dumb bastard!" I retorted.

"That's okay! We can teach ya Bakura!" Jounouchi beamed and I smiled with a 'hell yeah' kinda grin. "I think they open at ten. So we don't have to rush or anything."

"Gives us just enough time to get our ducks in a row." I said hopping up from my seat, pulling Akefia with me. "Come on, let's go get you into different clothes." I spoke to him and he snorted reluctantly. I think he hated wearing the new aged clothing style. I'm sure I originally did too. It's much more constricting than it once was. Sometimes I miss being able to run around in nothing but a large burgundy robe, slippers and a skirt….Good god…I was flamboyantly gay even back then…When I still had my sexy tan…But I also had short hair…that wasn't so bad, but I like my long hair these days. It makes me feel sexy. I have much more evil looking eyes these days too.

"I'm not wearing those blasted pants you had me wearing yesterday!" He complained in true 'me' fashion.

"Fine, fine!" I grumbled and turned to everyone else. "I'll be right back. I have to go strip myself down and redress him." I flashed a grin at Seto who coughed. HA. I caught him mentally imaging that.

My past self and I disappeared up the stairs and into the darkness of my room. There was little to be said between us. Or rather, neither of us really wanted to start the conversation. I less than he. It was, in fact, him who started it off. I figured he would. In the past, I was much less patient than I am now…which is total bull shit….I'm not patient period…I don't even know why I would say that.

"Man, I turned into a total twit, don't I?"

I turned around slowly. I was grabbing something out of my closet, but the clothing could wait. "Excuse me?" I said, and suddenly I reminded myself of one of those snotty ladies who get offended at everything you say…ever.

"You…you've been acting like a complete freak since this morning. To be honest, I saw you leave the room…but I said 'fuck it'. I don't get a nice soft bed often. But damn, you acted like you had been sniffing too many Lotus blossoms."

"You know…I had at one time…" I paused for dramatic effect. "Thought I was a semi-intelligent person. But considering you're not even fazed by the fact that you fucked yourself last night, literally, I'm questioning myself again! ... Fuck it with these pronouns!"

"You weren't looking at me last night…you and I both know that!"

I blinked, trying to ignore the hot feeling that was invading my face. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Akefia stepped closer to me and I resisted the urge to back away. Instead I turned my back to him and continued looking through my closet. I was starting to hate this introduction of my past self into my life. Three days and everything was going fucking bat shit insane! I mulled over this fact until I felt his arms wrap around my torso gently and his face come close to mine from behind. I froze.

"You're such a child…you're even less at one with yourself now than you were before. Even the Pharaoh is more at peace with himself."

"What the hell are you talking about!" I scoffed, "He wanted to kill his past self by shoving his head in a blender!"

"Even so, at least he's not in utter denial."

I turned around and looked directly at him. I was confused now. "What?"

"You're so at war with yourself. I love you to death. You're me. What's not to love? There's nothing wrong with loving yourself. That's your whole problem." He said making a circular gesture with his index finger. "You have to love yourself, before you can let others love you."

"What are you a fucking poet now!?" I growled. He wasn't making any goddamn sense!

"You're so worried what people think of you…I don't know why you care so much…I bet you wouldn't dare tell me what you were thinking about last night."

"Of course I wouldn't!"

"Therein lies your problem."

"What the hell do you-" A loud banging on the door drew my attention away instantly. "WHAT?"

"Hurry up, Kura….I got a sandwich with your name on it."

Yugi. Oh fucking hell. That's right. Instantaneous forgetting. That observant little bastard. "I'll be right there…It better have Swiss cheese on it!"

"You bet it does!" He replied through the door. "So hurry up!" I knew the hikaris' little plan. Trying to make me healthy. The bastards. But really, they were good kids. The minute they all scurried into the kitchen I knew that everyone would have a sandwich in ten minutes or less. I've never seen a group of people able to make sandwiches like those three. They should open up a deli. They'd win forever…and give me free sandwiches for coming up with such a kick ass idea. I'm totally not doing it for the free sandwiches…There…I did it again…said something that is complete and total bull shit…Man…I'm the bullshit master.

I yanked something from a hanger hanging in front of me. He'd look good in white. He'd have to…because the only shirt that I had that was clean and wouldn't make him look stupid was that one. I mean seriously…how dumb would he look wearing a shirt that had a blue-eyes white dragon on it? Hell, I only have that shirt because Seto loves the blue-eyes. I gave him a pair of faded blue jeans. I don't care what anyone says, faded blue jeans looks cool. End of discussion.

I threw the items at him and turned to grab my own clothes. I picked my favorite shirt ever. It says 'Blood, Sweat and No Tears' on it. I don't know when I found it, or where I found it, but I love it…knowing me though…I probably stole it. Actually…I probably stole half of everything I own…The rest Seto bought for me. It still cracked me up that I had been with Seto for a long time and no one realized. Man, we were good at sneaking around apparently. Though he seriously did get mad at me when I kidnapped Mokuba…but can you really blame me? That kid reeks of 'kidnap me!'

"We'll talk more later." I muttered to Akefia. He didn't reply, but I knew that he was in silent agreement. He damn well better have been. I didn't feel like delving into that subject. Most of me didn't want to understand what he was talking about. I needed to focus on getting my head straight…Well, as straight as a gay man can be. "Come down stairs when you're done." I added, tossing my shirt as I went and putting on the new one as I walked toward the door, only slowing enough to grab a pair of shoes that he wouldn't be borrowing. I closed the door as I escaped that room. Yes, escaped.

Only…my escape landed me right in the attention of the Pharaoh's Baka self. Atemu.

"Hello, Bakura." He said nonchalantly.

"What are you doing up here? Aren't you a little too far for your leash?" 

"Now, now, there's no reason to act like….well, your normal self."

"You think you're funny." I glared. "But, seriously…what are you doing up here?"

"My future self told me to come to you for a change of clothes…I can't wear these damnable things anymore. These…what did he call it…leather and buckles are driving me insane." 

"Imagine your future…you'll love the fucking things." I snorted, but the idea slowly leaked into my head. Dressing Atemu…would be like dressing Yami. Oh yes. That's power right there. "Step this way, and let's make it quick. I haven't got all day." I said with a hint of annoyance. I don't need him knowing that I'm going to use him as my personal Pharaoh-dress up doll.

I pushed my door open, completely forgetting that Akefia was supposed to be dressing. I coughed back a chuckle at Atemu's quick turn around.

"Oh give me a break, Pharaoh, I have pants on…sort of."

"They're on backwards." I added.

"Damn it all!" He cursed and disappeared into the hall. Probably to find the bathroom that has the large mirror so he could actually see what he was doing. Such a noob.

"Anything you're absolutely against wearing?" I asked.

"No buckles please…I feel like a whore."

I couldn't help it that time. The laughter just leaked out before I could turn off the fountain. Hearing the Pharaoh, no Atemu, say he felt like a whore was so far beyond hysterical to me. "That's rich." I muttered while reassessing my closet situation. Well…I could just dress him in the outfit I actually stole from Yami…but that would give away that I stole it from him in the first place…It's not my fault though…that outfit looks better on me. No…I would need to pick something fresh for him. The Pharaoh's style was different from mine, but I had a section of closet that I had deemed unworthy of being worn by me. Not because the clothing was ugly, just because it wasn't my style. I actually looked better in blacks or whites. Colors were okay once in a while…but not often.

But this section of my closet would be perfect for him. Though I knew I'd have to be careful to remember what was stolen from that Baka Pharaoh and what wasn't. Then again, I think he knew where all his clothes were going…Since I'm the only other person in our group that can comfortably fit into those pants.

"So, Pharaoh…how do you like our world?" I asked, listlessly. I didn't care, but I'd learned to really hate silence in my time in the modern world. That's why I almost never went anywhere without my mp3 player. Except those few days, because I couldn't find a damn moment to my self anyway!

"It's…different…I hadn't expected you to get…smaller."

I turned around quickly and frowned. "Okay, you can talk about anything but my lack of stature, got it?!"

He chuckled, "all right…You know, you weren't as spastic in our time as you are now."

I blinked. What the hell did he mean by that? "Care to clarify?"

"You're much more…I can't explain it…less self assured? Just from my observations. But you never took my word for anything in the past, let alone now."

"What do you mean 'in the past?' We didn't even tolerate each other back then!"

"You don't remember most of the time spent in the shadow realm thief. You and I, or rather you and your version of me spent a lot of time together in the shadow realm before you both were freed."

"That's nonsense! I didn't forget my past or the time in the shadow realm!"

Atemu looked at me with those strangely thoughtful eyes. I wanted to stab them with a pen. Mainly because they reminded me of that look that Yami had given me when he was trying to explain to me what a dickhead I am. "It's not what you forgot, so much as what you chose to omit."

"Stop talking riddles, damn it!" I shouted and yanked something from my closet. "Between you, your bastard future self and Akefia, I'm about ready to jump off a tall building! I don't need any more confusion than already!"

"Suit yourself." He shrugged. "And here Yami was trying to defend you."

Pause.

"What?"

"I said you were a hopeless case and he said he believed in you. He apparently thinks you're not a complete loser. I think you're out of touch with yourself."

"Oh…" I paused. "I'm in 'touch' with myself." I muttered. They were all pissing me off, but it got me thinking. How stupid do they think I am? I see what's going on now. They're all in on what ever prank is being played on me. And I know just the person to grill the info out of.

And his middle name is MONEY.

**To Be Continued…**

* * *

_Leo: I didn't wait until 6 months to update. You should be proud damn it. Anyway, I have a new LJ specifically for letting everyone know what's going on with my fanfiction, so if you wanna know what my status is every now and then my home page on my profile will lead you to my LJ! (I've also started a 100 Theme Antagoshipping challenge that will only be posted there, if anyone wants to read that so far.)_

**Special thanks to: KitaraStrife, Javie-and-Sammie, Kidiu Anaji, and xhaiiro. I know it's been a long time since I did anything with this story, but you guys kept reading and reviewing, thank you!**


	31. Anxiety and Lies

**Two of the Same Kind  
**_Chapter 30 - Anxiety and Lies_

So I stood before my vast closet of decadent apparel with the task at hand: Dress the Pharaoh's past self. Now, most people would think this to be an easy task. Simply find some shit, throw it on and say, "yay! You're done, now get the hell out of my face, you bitch." But not this time. I generally only do that to Marik when he thinks I'm going to let him rummage through my closet. Which he does frequently...That asshole. He probably still has my Batman t-shirt.

"So, Bakura...I have a question." The tanned version of Yami said suddenly. I was almost alarmed by it simply because he hadn't spoken to me really directly. I mean, we had never really been alone in the whole time they'd been there either.

"As long as it doesn't require me to explain how babies are made, go ahead and ask." Though...I probably would have come up with a horrific scenario involving blood spray and screaming to the point where he would shun the sight of a woman...Oh my god. That's how the Pharaoh became gay! I frothed mentally before I snorted out my nose upon thinking about it. Shaking my head, I knocked that very thought out of my brain and motioned for him to ask despite my temporary brain aneurysm.

"How come you and my future self get along so well?"

Hmm, now that was a particular question. It had seemed a little strange to think of my past self and the pharaoh's past self conversing with each other, talking about some plan of theirs that worked. If his question was to ask why I got along with Yami, yet he seemed perfectly capable with talking with Akefia the same way... "What are you up to?" I turned to him and cornered him on the wall of my closet. "You are both fucking with me now...quite literally and now figuratively. What the fuck is going on!?"

"...I don't know what you mean."

"Okay you fucktard. I'm not as stupid as you people think I am. Akefia cornered me in one way and now you've moved in for the second half right!?" I was getting slightly angry and very paranoid. Seto's knowing smirk had started my suspicion. I hadn't thought much into Akefia...but then I saw him talking in the hall with none other than Atemu. Now Atemu's playing the same sonofabitch game.

"You didn't answer my question thief." He replied, unaffected by my anger. He smiled, but there was challenge in those violet eyes. Immediately I regretted fighting him on that one. Those eyes never failed to twist me. I felt almost compelled to not lie because of the long history I've had looking into those damnable eyes. I'd lied to Yami countless times…a stupid thing here or there, but not when it was relevant…or meaningful. Then again…I don't think I've ever lied about meaningful things. I mean I stretch the truth, certainly…or I don't answer the question…or simply give an answer to an entirely different question without announcing the change in question. Sometimes I respond with a question…But I don't really lie…

Not to Yami…

Everyday I tried to rekindle my hatred, some how falling short every time. Keeping myself at arms length with anyone other than my Hikari…We fight…We get generally angry…Claims of hatred, chiding…he tried to knock my lights out after I kicked the crap out of Atemu for kissing Akefia…

"What is your opinion of my future self?" He pressed, not letting it slip for a second.

"I don't know, okay?" I gritted, trying not to outright lie. It wasn't going so well. I knew exactly how I felt. Painfully…morbidly…I was well aware of what the cause of my anxiety…Akefia had already brought that mystery to light for me…So it was Atemu's turn to make me admit it outright. They were a devious pair, but in my understanding I was no weak willed person. It was time to fight back the best way I knew how. Reverse psychology.

"Why did you kiss my past self?"

"Why are you avoiding the question?"

"You avoided mine. Are you feeling cornered about it, pharaoh?"

"Are you, thief? I am not the one in question. You didn't seem concerned about my future self flirting with your past self nearly as much as you disliked seeing me kissing him…Now why is that?"

"What does it matter?"

"Oh it matters. Why would you possibly be concerned about such a minute event that probably will not even stay in the memories of either of us?"

"Why should I worry? The two of you will go back to where ever you came from."

"Then what will you do, knowing there's no buffer between you and Yami."

I paused…Upon pausing I flinched…I fucking hesitated…That was the signing of my defeat in the reverse psychology department. But I couldn't help it. He posed a question. When they left, it would be the same as it was before. I would continue to pretend to hate him and he could continue to pretend that he wasn't affected by my hatred. How could I possibly reverse all that had been said and done since they got there? I had used him as my fucking shoulder to lean on! He sent someone to the shadow realm for me… He sent me Anthrax in the mail! Without some sort of constant distraction I would have no choice but to slowly allow him past my inner wall or block myself off from contact completely.

'You've never had a friend in your life, Bakura'

His voice echoed in my mind. He'd said that to me once. He was right…Until Yugi and his dork squad showed up I didn't have a damn person I could turn to. Ryou was my host…A pet. Malik was a tool. Marik was an enemy…The Pharaoh was my rival…My ultimate competition. Seto was…well…Seto. He's in his own category. Yugi jumped in and begged the fucking pharaoh to give me a chance when all was said and done. How could I not appreciate that a little?

I looked to the violet eyed Pharaoh. He was pissing me off. I was thinking about things I didn't want to think about. He was ruffling my feathers because he thought he could catch me off guard or criticize me because of it. I didn't know what he and Akefia were up to, but all I knew is that I didn't have to hate _anyone_ anymore.

"I don't give two shits what you think Atemu. You can judge me all you want, but I_ like_ Yami." I declared, looking him seriously in the face. He looked a little alarmed. I would have too…actually, I was alarmed, because I couldn't stop myself from going on. "You can call me weak or pathetic like you used to, but you know what? You kissed Akefia, that makes you no better than me! I'm not the same person I was back then. And I'm tired of being haunted by your fucking face. I don't want the past back…I don't want you back or what I used to be. I want to stay who I am now, not matter how Akefia chides me of growing weak. I want **Yami**! Not **you**, so I can't wait until you and Akefia stop fucking with my head and leave me **alone**!"

Atemu smiled. That fucking bastard smiled! I swore to every god that I wanted to rip his face off. "I wasn't going to chide you. I was just asking a question Bakura. Why so tense?"

"I'm not fucking tense!" I shouted, not even noticing until my head hurt that I was pulling at my hair. "I wish you would leave already! I just leave! Both of you. I hate you both. You and my past. I hate you both! I would be just fine if you hadn't interrupted my life." I growled, shoving him into the closet door. "I didn't have to think about anything before you shits showed up and started fucking with my head. I actually got jealous over Akefia…I got legitimately mad. The second that stupid pharaoh idiot future self of yours started in on Akefia, I wanted to kill Akefia. I thought I was feeling the hatred toward Yami, but I wasn't. I realized it when Akefia played his half of your game on me."

"Oh? What game Bakura?" Atemu dared me to continue.

"What game!? What game! You two have been conspiring the whole time. Yami and I heard you in the hall! Well…I heard you. I didn't tell him because he's probably in on it too. Just like the rest of the fuckers in this group. What are you trying to accomplish!?" I growled furiously. How dare they fuck with my head like that. Once the gravity of the situation collapsed on me, I think I snapped. Having been attacked by crazy fucking kids, dragged all across the town despite injury, only to be tortured mentally by one past and fucked around with (quite literally) by my own past, having a minor mental spazz attack only to be soothed by Yami of all people…I snapped.

Without another word, I turned and left the room. I left him in shock. I passed Akefia, who looked back at me in curiosity, then in alarm when he realized I wasn't walking anymore, but running instead. I dashed for the door, deftly avoiding anyone who thought they were fast enough to intercept me. I changed attitudes so suddenly I don't think they realized I ran through the front and out the door until I slammed piece of shit door closed and kept running. I did hear the door open again. It was a fruitless effort on their part. If I didn't want to be found, I simply wouldn't be found.

Marik knew that much…Marik…shoot, I was still pissed at him too. He had deftly stepped into my bubble playing friendly with my arch nemesis. I pushed out the mental image of Marik sucking Yami's eyeballs out of his head via his mouth. I mean, that was ticking at me for a while. Marik went and made out with my enemy in my house! What the hell kinda friend is that?

But then…he wasn't my enemy anymore was he? No. I'd already established that. I turned the block, ignoring the glare that bounced off the cars on the street. It was still early in the morning, but the sun was bright on that particular side.

Suddenly the image of Akefia speaking with Yami, when Marik helped be down the stairs, came back to me. Marik…that fucking bastard…He played me on my sad little bitterness…while Akefia was clueing in the pharaoh on their glorious little plan.

"Bakura!" I heard someone's voice. I quickly determined that someone to be Seto. Only he could possibly catch up to me. He had the long legs of a born sprinter. He really should have done more running in school. He could have made a great athlete on top of being a child genius.

I didn't acknowledge him with any response. I needed to get away from any and all people in that house. This had to be one huge fucking joke on me. Or maybe I just needed time to assess my thoughts and compose myself.

Fuck it all. I should have stuck to the lonely path, I thought to myself. I did hate dealing with people. On top of that, people who had bad first impressions with me to begin with. There were a number of possibilities…They were playing me for the biggest fool of the century…I was officially going crazy and was just having a bad hallucination…or I really was being confronted and forced to face my feelings by some strange ass twisted versions of our past selves…

But why? We were doing fine! Weren't we?

"Bakura! For god's sake stop!" Seto's voice rang in my ear closer than before. I didn't want to turn around…I didn't want to break my stride. If I did then he would catch me without a doubt. Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. I repeated the mantra in my head. Why was he chasing me down? Hadn't they had enough?

"Bakura! STOP!" A second voice. Yami's.

I stopped. I breathed in raggedly before realizing that I had stopped. Seto wasn't far from me now and I broke into a sprint again hoping to lose him but his reach was farther than my legs could take me in that short time and his large hand closed around my wrist. I pulled, but he had won that round. A gust of wind drew my hair to the side in a flurry and I blinked almost horrified of the car that had passed where I would have been.

Seto gasped for air, "This is why people stop you when you run off, Bakura."

"Leave me the hell alone, Seto." I growled, upon regaining my composure. "I just want to be left alone. You knew what was going on…and you still know what's going on! You fucking bastard."

"Bakura this isn't an attack on you. Do you think we would go to such extremes? Especially me? Knowing that I care about you. Which if you think about it, that is special in itself! I don't care about people, but I do care about you. I wouldn't hurt you!"

"Lying is worse than any direct harm you could inflict on me!" Glaring from him to the approaching form, I pointed at Yami. "And you! You knew they were planning to trap me from the beginning! You know what they are and you kept it all to yourself! They speak perfect Japanese don't they **Pharaoh**!? I mean do you think I don't put clues together? They're not our past selves, they're incarnations of us that resemble what we were compared so what we are now! It explains why my Ring is acting up. You knew and you didn't care to tell me! I was just beginning to like you too!"

Yami didn't have a quick, haughty retort. I expected him to argue or fuss, but his voice was soft. "Bakura…I didn't think you would be able to react the same way if I told you. Our time in the Shadows was forgotten, they were created as a backup. You've figured that out, I know…but there's a reason!"

"I don't even want to hear it. You can go to hell! How was I supposed to react when you lied to me!?"

"You have to react as your heart commands, Bakura! They won't return until you do! I've already done my part; it's all on you now!"

"What's all on me!? And what have you done to make you the head runner!?"

"I'm not lying to myself like you are."

"Well at least I didn't lie to the one person who trusted me the most. Not like you did." My body shook with how mad I was at him. I'd been acting more like a psychopath in those few days than any of my previous experiences. Everything pissed me off. Akefia…Atemu…Yami…Marik…Seto…every one of them had been unwinding me and masking it with light entertainment…Making jokes at the expense of my naivety.

"Suddenly lying is offensive to you Bakura?" His eyes held that contemptuous look that always made me feel like shit.

"Fuck you Pharaoh! I've never lied to you when it mattered. I was starting to think of how much I enjoyed your presence, and you went and fucked that up too! You wonder why I've never had friends!" I started walking. Down the sidewalk, away from Seto and away from Yami. I didn't run. I just walked. They would follow me, because Yami didn't trust me when I was in one of my moods, and Seto was worried I would hurt myself. Both were reasonable.

"Bakura…what would you have done in my place?!"

"What would I have done? I wouldn't have paraded around you pretending to be concerned about you. I don't care, just stay the hell away from me!"

"I did this for a reason, you damn idiot!"

Spinning around, I stopped. "What could possibly forgive you for doing this to me, Yami!? You let them play games with me…It's bad enough I already submitted to being normal, you want to mind fuck me too?!"

"You act like I know every detail that happened! I don't! I just know what they are here for! I let them continue unstopped for a want to know why!? Because I love you! That's why!"

My whole world of barely sane…collapsed.

**To be Continued….**

_Leo: Sorry to anyone who didn't see this coming or if you did, and you didn't want it to happen. I just don't think I could rightfully come up with a reasonable excuse as to why Bakura's past self exists with him also there, thus creating an unforgiveable time loop. I categorized this under Geminishipping with the understanding that Bakura would play around a bit, but I never saw it staying that way. You will all understand my intentions when I close this story up at the end. For those of you who still read this train wreck, thank you. I look back at it now and realize that my style of writing has changed a lot, but it's still always fun to write Bakura. _

_Thank you for waiting! If you're ever curious about my fanfictioning habits, please check my livejoural. I'll be tending to it more frequently from now on. _


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